Tuesday's are always my least favourite day of a typical week
I soldier through.
To be fair they're just like any other weekday but I feel my
most awkward and in this case I just don't want to talk to anyone
or try and raise the slightest of smiles.
I attempted to brush off my melancholy state last night by
attending a station meeting for CSR radio members, and
I must admit 2013 does look promising with a 48 hour
broadcast in February, and the Keynestock broadcast in May.
That said, in spite of a visit to the Orion bar afterwards which
providing some laughs to a point, I still felt mellow which may
be a comedown after the Worldwide Awards on Saturday.
I have ongoing thoughts worrying that I embarrassed everyone
there by being too enthusiastic, but that's always the case
with things if I've really had a good time.
I'll be honest. I am always worried about how other people,
especially those who I look up to perceive me, when they're
probably not fussed at all.
Not in a negative or careless way, but they're too occupied
with other things to even let it dent them.
It may be a case of me slowly learning to stop being scared.
Things may pick up by Thursday as we've got a visitor coming to
talk about the possibilities of maybe moving into my own property
away from my parents.
That could be a possible solution, but whatever happens I'm not
sure if I'll ever be in a position to stop feeling scared about
what's to come.
I have Word documents outlining audio packages and equipment
I want to buy, that I believe will be the cure to my melancholiness
but having to pay off a credit card bill is delaying me to
an extent.
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