Lounge's "Wildest Moments"

I should be in a very hungover state as I write this, though I have
seemingly recovered and am able to give a recap of what I got
to at this year's Lounge On The Farm festival, which despite
a moderate turn out, I really enjoyed.

This year we were broadcasting in the meadows area near some
old fairground rides and the Farm Folk tent, and our studio
was an old VW camper donated specially to us.


















Throughout the weekend I was producing live, producing inserts, and
essentially mucking about in situations such as these;


















Starting off the festivities with James Waters.



















Interviewing the "Lord Of The Lobsters" AKA Lekiddo.



















Sheltering from the rain with Rob and Helen.


















Big wheel broadcasting.

It all seemed to be going so well until late Sunday afternoon when
outgoing student media manager Mel took myself, James and Dan
for a few drinks at the Farmhouse tent, and the effects
of Blackcurrant cider knew no bounds.



































It got a lot worse, but as the old saying goes, you had to be there.

To repay the favour, for my pratfalling I let Mel borrow my jacket
when it got a bit more chilly later on that night. I must say it suits
her far better than it does me.



















As for the live acts, most of them were on top form. I say most as
Soul II Soul were disappointing due to a poor sound set up and
rather heavy lighting for my liking. Caron Wheeler did her best
bless her.




















The other headliners, Seasick Steve and Jessie Ware respectively,
were on a much higher level, and Aswad really got the
Canterbury crowds going.




















































There were also some good comedy acts in the Playhouse tent, with
Richard Herring and Tony Law being two such highlights.



































Overall I loved it. This may be my favourite outside broadcast at Lounge
I have been involved with at CSR, with it being the most hectic
and the most wet, what with the heavy storms on Saturday.

But overall it's a team effort and everyone involved pulled it off
with energy, creativity, and fantastic commitment.

"Stormy Weather And Bottles Of Wine"

With my fifth radio outing to the Lounge on the Farm festival
getting nearer, it's more than apt to have a look back at
a film from the late 70s set on similar but more dangerous surroundings.

"Apaches": Central Office Of Information (1977)



Previously featured on Charlie Brooker's "How TV Ruined Your Life",
and recently included on Edgar Wright's "10 Amazing Films You've Probably Never Seen", this feature length PIF was screened during the
school holidays in the more rural ITV regions.

I.E Southern, Anglia, Westward, almost certainly Yorkshire,
with the aim of warning younger viewers about the dangers of farmyard equipment and farmers that don't give a shit.

That's certainly evident in this piece, not to mention the fact
that the main protagonists seem very quick to come to terms
over one's death.

Some moments are genuinely disturbing.
The kid drowning in the manure, and the exterior shot of the house
after the girl has drunk the poison are rather hard to watch.

That and the roll call of names of real life victims at the end
of the film, and to this day, none of the child actors who appeared
in this have taken credit for the short.

Other moments however are hilarious, notably the padding out
via a pointless conversation with the children about "Swap Shop"
which dates the film perfectly.

The style throughout the film as a whole is pretty dark, and I swear
that the twist involving the dinner party/wake
was the direct inspiration for Shane Meadows when he made
"Dead Man's Shoes"..

As is normally the case on my blog, I have a review of the above
film by someone far funnier than me, and from UK shores at that.



In this hilarious, but sensitive analysis, Guru Larry manages to
make fun of the various flaws of the film, not least the final death
involving the tractor which reminds me almost exactly of the waterfall
scene from Don Bloof's "Thumbelina" where no one is able to detect
the logical solution to a crisis, even though it's right in front of them.

Back to the Apache review and they did miss a trick of dubbing
the real "Starsky And Hutch" theme over the boys attempting to take off
the detectives.

Not just because it would add to the amusement, but it's also
a bloody good tune.

Though the reason for it may be because one of my fellow Uni students
Edward "Tudor" Burke did that quite a lot of times for various projects on the Television Production course.

I very much doubt that anything this scary (or stupid) will occur
during the next three days at Merton Farm, although much of today
was spent helping the tech team out making sure that nothing
unsafe is in our presence.
















And that no one drinks any liquids which they themselves have
said out loud are dangerous.

Lighting Up The Skies And Big Screen

Well, last night kept me awake. Massive storms in Canterbury, and
lightning so bright, even a blind person could sense it.

Prior to that, I made my way to the Odeon in Canterbury to
see the final flavour of the Cornetto trilogy "The World's End".

And without spoiling it, it's rather entertaining if a little predictable
in parts, and there's enough elements in there to create a
"Three Flavours Cornetto" drinking game.

Though once again, there was an amazing soundtrack consisting
not just of classic 90s indie tunes, but a few surprises including
one that had me trying hard not to sing along, "Alabama Song"
by The Doors.

Though I guess that fits in with that time period as Val Kilmer's
biopic about Jim Morrison came out in 1991.

The film also helped me realise that visually, Nick Frost is
basically a fat Richard Osman. Especially in the early scenes
he appears in.

Not a lot else going on until Friday, when I will be attending
my fifth Lounge On The Farm Festival, and being made to work
very hard as part of CSR's coverage.

Many have criticised the event for attracting drug addicts,
and for having a "dull" line-up, though in the case of the latter
it's mainly uncultured so and sos who would be happier attending
a David Guetta concert.

I'm sensing that it's going to be better than last year,
but the main reason is because this time round I'm not
struck down in a daze of uncertainty.

Especially with the Margate Soul Weekend taking place
the week after.

Animation Anger: "Three's A Crowd"

Once again I'm about to dissect some more catastrophic cartoons
via a selection of online reviewers who are a lot more capable than
I am, of adding wit to such shambles.

As always there's the usual blend of helpless heroines, embarrassing
plotholes, and irritating forgettable songs, quite often providing
the Pink Elephant/Big Lipped Alligator moments of making an appearance
only to be never mentioned again in the picture.

This will be the last blog devoted to bad animation for a short while,
but in no way does it mean my analyses of atrocious movies are over,
as there are tons of live action disasters that I plan to probe over
the coming months.

Anyway, let's commence this set of hand-drawn howlers, with
what could be a sequel too far...

Journey Back To Oz (1972) Reviewed by The Animated Heroine




First up is another animated film from a popular target on this blog
when it comes to bad animated adaptations, Filmation, the animation
stable as run by the Walt Disney wannabe Lou Scheimer.

Sorry, I'd better re-write that as;











This man's no Disney, if anything, his style of animation resembles
the crudely animated cutscenes from the CD-I Zelda games
off of the early 90s.

Digressing, Filmation's Oz sequel predates Disney's
"Return To Oz" by 14 years. But that doesn't mean in any way it's superior,
in fact it's equally as bad.

Judy Garland's daughter Liza Minelli inherits the voice of Dorothy,
but that's not enough to redeem this tedious display of unmemorable
songs (12 in 90 minutes!) come-and-go characters, strung out
scenarios, and the most annoying elephant trumpet noise.

Not forgetting the badly thought out characters, if the scarecrow
is meant to be king of the Emerald City, then the film succeeds 
in portraying him as completely useless.

But what really has me laughing is the film's opening credits
involving a tornado sequence and the producers needed
a piece of music that would capture that energy and tension.

To be fair, I bet they had no idea that the piece they chose
was already very familiar to the UK audience, most likely
scaring a generation of children who crept past their parents
living rooms when they were meant to be in bed.

As for the film as a whole, I'd sum it up as Ozzzzzzzzz...

Titanic: The Legend Goes On.... (2000) Reviewed by Doug Walker




As soon as a movie becomes successful, many will try and cash in on the popularity, even to the point of making an unofficial animated adaptation
to appeal, or more realistically, pander to a younger audience.

It's as if many big film producers share similar tendencies to
the Alan Ahlberg children's book "Burglar Bill" and would come out of
the cinema saying to themselves, "that's a nice movie adaptation, 
I'll have that!".

This was actually the second animated Titanic knock-off to be released
but we'll go onto the first one later, because believe me,
the premise of that movie is beyond belief.

But don't worry, in no way does it mean this adaptation isn't also
shambolic.
I'd best get it straight that I was never a fan of James Cameron's
1997 blockbuster, but even that was a more polished effort compared
to this.

The animation is lazy (with even lazier editing),
the voice acting is forced, and the character focus
suffers from an ill-thought blend of humans and talking animals.

They include a dalmatian couple who bare absolutely no resemblance to Pongo and Perdita, and a family of mice turning the film into
what the Nostalgia Critic labels "An American Fail".

Even one or two human characters are half-inched, as the visual
appearance of the captain resembles that of another who used
to flog fish fingers in a halcyon era.

At least in a Disney film, there's a sense of chemistry between the human
and animal based characters, which is completely absent here.

It's as if we're watching two different movies splodged together.

But the standout shame of this animation is the musical number
that pops out of nowhere, involving a rapping dog, dressed up in 90s stereotypical urban clothing.

In 1912?

Not to mention the fact the lyrics are lazy and completely
unrelated to the film's plot.

Another dreadful song involves a cod-latin offering from
the racially insensitive Mexican mice, which sounds like
something Gloria Estefan would have previously rejected.

Even when viewed in the proper context, this film makes no sense
whatsoever.

A dreadful display of essentially sugar-coating a real-life
disaster where hundreds of people died, and turning it into a fairytale.

Two words: Fuck You.

Quest For Camelot (1998) Reviewed by Doug Walker



In the late 90s post-Disney Renaissance era, many animated studios
wanted their piece of the pie, by attempting an animated epic,
quite often failing.

Even Disney themselves were past their best by this stage, either
because I was getting older, or the creations of sister-house Pixar
were far more eye-grabbing.

But when it comes to a half-arsed attempt at an epic, this talent
turkey from Warner Bros fits the bill perfectly.

Basically this is what happens when you throw together the
voices of great actors, and stir them up in the most uninventive
way possible.

Not least with Gary Oldman, who is given what has to be
the worst villain song ever.

Completely lacking in melody, lacking in coherence,
lacking in any sense overall.

In fact just about all the songs are "Big Lipped Alligators" as
they do absolutely nothing to drive the plot, and are just
overblown and annoying.

Maybe Elaine Paige could play them on her Radio 2 show...

Even more annoying is the sudden transformation
of the evil enchanted axe/Beauty and The Beast knock-off character
into a good guy without any explanation.

I bet they got the idea from  "The Trap Door" where Berk
suddenly becomes friends with Rogg without a proper truce,
the only plothole of an otherwise gem of a series.

Overall this film is the ideal representation of an era where
I was bored of animated films, and when the big studios
put no effort or explanation into their movies.

That rose tinted image of the late 90s isn't really
all it was cracked up to be...

Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue (1990) Reviewed by Doug Walker



The above video is actually one the very first Nostalgia Critic
rantings and Doug Walker couldn't have picked a finer target.

The writer William Gallagher in his recent podcast about YTV's
"Beiderbecke Saga" stated that in America, if a popular drama
series announces a "special episode", then it's more likely to
be a cover for a preachy episode about drug awareness, or AIDS and so on.

That's more or less the pretence for this animated special which
on the 21st of April 1990 was simulcast on all the major American television
networks on a Saturday morning, with an introduction from
then respective president and first lady George and Barbara Bush.

This seemed like a big deal, a cartoon collaboration starring
the Looney Tunes, the Smurfs, the Chipmunks, the Muppet Babies
and many others attempting to promote drug prevention.

Hang on a second, a bunch of cartoon characters promoting drug prevention?

Surely that idea itself must have been thought up by writers
who were smoking said illegal substances.

It's not really fair to take mine or the Nostalgia Critic's word for this
animation, so here it is in full, if you're brave enough.

The animated likeness of ALF pretty much sums it up with the line
"Toto, I believe we're not in cartoon territory anymore".

I've no idea if this was screened here in the UK, but I would 
definitely remember it if it was, and despite not knowing a lot about drugs
as a five year old when it was made, I would have been
able to sense that this was beyond parody and just wrong.

Probably even moreso if they had got the then Prime Minister
John Major to record the introduction.

When it comes to animation collaborations, I think we did a far
better job in the UK back in 2009 when Peter Kay assembled
an all-star band for a charity single in aid of Children In Need,
that meant well and was successful without being preachy.

Even better however was this offering with puppets for Comic Relief
in 1991 with the song "Helping Hand".

But when it comes to cartoons promoting against drugs,
maybe they should have stuck with something similar to this.

The Legend Of The Titanic (1999) Reviewed by Doug Walker



Yes, it's another animated rip-off of the big blockbuster movie,
also from Italy.

Contrary to what's said in the video, it predates the one reviewed earlier in the blog, but if you thought it couldn't get any worse than a rapping dog...

Well, you'll really need one of the Nostalgia Critic's giant Jagermeisters
if you are to get through the whole film.

Again there are one dimensional characters,
talking mice, some of them designed as ethnic stereotypes,
and out of place CGI exteriors of the ship.

But what makes this adaptation worse, is that right from the beginning
they openly intend to purposely piss all over what really happened
with the narrator of the story telling an sugarcoated story to
his children of what "really" happened in 1912.

The worst part being the use of a dreadfully obvious
villain, who with the help of an army of talking sharks (?!)
actually plots to destroy the ship.

All of this adds up to the film turning the story of what was a a real life
tragedy into an anti-whaling propaganda movie.

Did the director of this have some sort of agenda he wanted
to implement?
Because he almost certainly didn't have a brain.

Once again, Two words: Fuck You.

Hopefully the above examples and those in the previous
blogs have provided an insight into how not to make an animated
blockbuster.

And most importantly of all, provided somewhat of a good laugh,
that the director's weren't originally intending.

Getting Quizical In North London

The Radio Academy's Summer Pub Quiz took place for 2013 last night
at the Junction in Highbury, where I teamed up with the ever
superb and talented people from Folded Wing.

Sadly, Karen who invited me in as a team member was ill, but
we soldiered on with Jim, Andrea and Pete making up "Folded
Win Or Lose, It's The Taking Part That Counts (Unless We Win)".

A desperate attempt at a pun resulting in too long a name.

We made our way up taking the lovely route through Islington
via Upper Street.

Thankfully we didn't go anywhere near the Emirates.

This would be a good time to show some snaps of what happened
where once again, the Soul Fan made a few appearances such
as the one below with the ever laid back Jim Lister.

"The winning team" from front to back, Lister, Linney, Rangecroft and Blamirez.

Asking the questions, Absolute Radio's Andy Bush.

Andrea hides behind the "Soul Fan".

Controlled chaos ensues in the "Heads Or Tails" bonus round.

"Look at what we could have won..."

And here's the team that did, "The Hold Seperate"
starring amongst others, Scott Hughes and James Merrit.

The rounds themselves were entertaining, if a bit lengthy,
where my team played our joker on the "Guess The Year"
round, which I pretty much stormed.

I was also impressed where in the mystery voice round
involving audio clips of radio presenters at a particular station
I managed to identify Chris Moyles at Aire FM in the early 90s
as he was talking over one of their JAM jingles from the KIIS 90
package.

Another highlight was the ever modest Jim Lister identifying
in the general knowledge round the the "A" in "A&M Records" stood
for Herb Alpert.

Despite all our efforts, we ended up coming 6 and not matching a single ticket
on the raffle meant that our hopes of bagging Elton John tickets
were dashed, much to office manager Sandie P's disappointment,
and Jim Lister's delight.

But overall an amazing, if slightly exhaustive night in the company
of amazing people, who I hope I'll be working with again very soon.

To paraphrase Joe Esposito "You're the best!"

Soul and Sunburn

Oh goodness.

Where on earth did the weekend go?

Just because many people were sunning it up in Somerset,
didn't mean London itself was empty.

Far from it.

I commenced my long weekend with a few drinks in Leicester Square
with a fair few radio peeps before heading over to the Jazz Cafe
to see "the man" that is Omar, launching his brand new album.





Omar's brother, the "Scratch Professor"



Messin' with that Moog.

Saturday saw the much anticipated "Summer Soulstice" in far

North London where crowds of soul lovers and disc spinners
got together to remember the late Andy Weekes for the 7th
year running.

It was great getting to see so many familiar faces and simply
getting down to the good stuff in the bright sunshine.


The ever lovely Amanda.



Herne Bay homegirl Theresa B.




Loving Ginger Tony's t-shirt.



One of the special guest performers, Mr Glen Goldsmith.

I stuck around until around 7pm, when I headed back over to
Central London and the Prince Charles Cinema for another
screening of "The Room".

It felt a bit more sub-dued than before, but oh my, the ad-libs
from the audience were hilarious.I was sat at the back as well, so luckily I didn't get any spoons chucked at me either.

Lots of belly-button jokes were in order of the night.

I rounded off the long soul weekend in Romford, and Sandra C's
monthly residency at the Victoria pub.

The turn out was amazing, and there were even a few survivors
from Soulstice in attendance.



Soul sistaz Dawn and Sandra.



DJ Trish.




The last few days have resulted in possibly the worst
sunburn I have suffered from and I'm still not sure if
I'll have recovered from the comedown.

Quite a lot of catching up from Glasto should do the job.

I'm itching to see Nile Rogers strut his stuff.