The East London Half Weekender

Despite looking overcast, I'm still up for what I hope will be the better
part of the Whitsun Bank Holiday starting off with Northern Dave
and his partner Lisa's engagement party in Stratford this afternoon.

Pippa and Holly may be showing up and journalism alumni Lisa
who I haven't seen for a while may also be there as well.

I'm definitely looking forward to finding what they've been up to in
the last two years as it's almost exactly that length of time to the day
since I last saw them at Uni.

Looking forward to the Greenwich Beer and Jazz Festival tomorrow where
I'm really hoping that the skies will be a lot clearer than they are now.

But I won't be too fussed if that's not the case as to see Incognito
performing outdoors will be quite something.

The band also happen to be performing at Ronnie Scotts in August
and which I may consider going to although I've already booked
for Down To The Bone performing at the Jazz Cafe two weeks
earlier so I may need to go easy on the spending.

Hopefully I'll be earning more money by then, but I did say something
very similar just under 6 months ago.

I'm just getting more and more deeper.

"Where Are We? Rock Bottom"

Well, tonight was definitely worth spending in and full proof that
we really need to offer a tune truly representative of the music
that dominates the UK, as opposed to the completely irrelevant
tosh that got in last place once again.

To get Pete Waterman involved in the first place was ridiculous
as his calendar seemed to have stopped in 1992.

That said followed on from a Tweet by fellow telly enthusiast Jon Bufton
who suggested that we should have entered something along the
lines of "I'd Rather Jack" by The Reynolds Girls or even better "FLM"
by Mel & Kim.

That's in terms of songs as they weren't the most good looking of women.

That aside I really want to see Pete's reaction to the result considering
how uptight he is about his material.

Anyway, that aside I was going for Germany's entry even though it
was a nod to Lily Allen, but also worth mentioning are France's entry
which also happens to be their official World Cup tune, and Romania's
impressive perspex piano which lead to many comparison's of
our 1977 entry "Rock Bottom" by Lynsey DePaul and Mike Moran.

Both of whom have written TV theme tunes.

Anyway, in the words of Captain Sensible I'm glad it's all over.

Now the excitement really starts with Dave and Lisa's engagement party
tomorrow evening, and a not so upfront, but better example of music
we have to offer in terms of music with Omar, and Incognito at Greenwich
on Monday.

I mustn't forget to print the tickets out tomorrow morning.

The Eurovision Spiel Contest

I didn't have a lie as expected this morning, but hopefully it won't
quash any anticipation for the Eurovision Song Contest tonight.

To be honest I may end up falling asleep halfway through it but whatever
happens I doubt I'll make it past the results even if Scott "Actual" Mills
is reading out those for the UK.

There, I said it, even if it's the most ridiculous catchphrase
in idiot culture.

I've worked out the train times for my visit to Stratford tomorrow
and there's absolutely no way I'll be high speeding it due to a
rail replacement bus service from Canterbury West to Ashford
which was the same one I had trouble with a couple of months ago.

Especially as trains from East are running OK this weekend.

It's going to go well, although I'd best go steady on the spending.

Which will probably be easy due to the lack of primary coloured drinks
present.

And with regards to Gary Coleman, here's hoping The Simpsons
acknowledge some sort of tribute as they sort of re-ignited his career
just over ten years ago in one of the Christmas episodes.

Even though it was probably a few seasons too many,
I would love to see some of the earlier episodes of Diff'rent Strokes
just to see Arnold and Willis at their most hilarious.

Mainly because they bore some sort of resemblance to myself
and my younger brother at an earlier age with me being the long
suffering elder brother.

The Annual Tweet Overload

Rather empty day ahead although I could be a lot more productive than
yesterday.

As I don't have to wait around for a visa to arrive, I may make
my way over to Morrisons to get a few things, and attempt to take the
longest route possible to kill time.

My main viewing priority tonight is of course The Million Pound Drop
Live, especially as it may be the last time I get to see it due to
Eurovision tomorrow evening which will result in an even bigger
number of Tweets throughout.

And on that note, this year's Britain's Got Talent live finals
commence next week although I'll miss the first one on Monday
due to seeing Incognito at the Greenwich Beer and Jazz Festival.

An easy decision to make.

Other than that it's still a case of searching, sending, and selling.

"Uh Oh! I Smell Bacon That Got Burnt!"

Despite only being two shows left in the series, I've developed an obsession
with Davina's Million Pound Drop on Channel 4, via playing along with the
game on the Channel 4 website and the usual tweeting as you'd expect.

This new nightly offering sees contestants either indivdual or couples
risking real wads of cash on multiple choice questions, the answer of which
are superimposed over 4 seperate trap doors.

They can either split the money over the answers or put everything on what
they think is the correct answer hoping that it doesn't open up and lose
all the money.

I hope that explanation makes sense...

Overall it's definitely caught on in the last couple of days and
I've heard that Uni students Matt Garforth and his partner Nick
have applied to go on which I'd love to see happen.

As Mum won't be here tomorrow, I'll be able to watch in the front room
in front of the television with my laptop on the table and possibly
eating a penne bol in between the questions.

That's my Friday sorted for sure.

All this sort of stole the limelight for tonight's YHBW but it did provide
a fair few laughs as expected.

As a bit of "homework" I re-viewed Charlie's Screenwipe special on
children's television from December 2008 and it paid off as one
of the programmes featured was Nickelodeon's bizarre "Yo Gabba Gabba"
which features everyday situations and sayings immortalised in
repetitive pop songs.

Watch the show on 4oD and it will make a lot more sense
(and provide more laughs) than the above paragraph.

Also reviewed was the ever atrocious Hanna Montana which explains
the title of the blog post, where the comparisons with Skins
as a teen drama series were fully justified.

Best of all was a really sweet animation from South Korea about
what else, a turd.
But this is no Mr Hankey.

"Doggy Poo" manages to tug at the heart in the most unexpected
manner and although South Park had the "Circle Of Poo" send up,
this is just that little bit sweeter and one of many lesser known
animations that I wouldn't normally admit to liking.

And to finish with, one of my own findings from New Zealand.

The picture quality takes a lot to appreciate, but
this cute little song with a puppet frog is hard to take a dislike to.

Good night.

Vital Arrivals

Most of today was spent waiting for an important delivery containing
Olly's Camp America T-shirt and travelling visa, which I had to sign for.

It wasn't as much of a chore as expected as I passed time by listening
to this weeks AIOTM podcast from Richard Herring, and seeing
George Benson interviewed on This Morning ahead of a UK tour.

I'm still giving myself a bollocking for not looking out for that in advance
but I'm sure there's enough left in him for at least on more visit to
our shores.

And I applied for yet another Data Input job in London, which
suggests that I should be searching for a part time one just
to keep myself active

But it brings the argument of benefits to mind as raised by
Radio 1's Newsbeat on Facebook where one half want those to work
harder to get jobs, whilst the other argue that certain jobs they
are capable of pay less than on benefits, for a months wages.

I've seen individuals rise from gloom recently and if I up my game
I won't end up doing anything demeaning or other.

No excuse to be down with things tonight as telly wise
there's the return of Bruce Forsyth hosting the show that re-ignited
his presenting career (for the 12th time), and what I hope will be
a personal highlight; a Kids TV special of You Have Been Watching
with ex CBBC presenter Holly Walsh as one of the guests.

I've no idea what shows they'll be looking at, considering there's
bugger all when it comes to children's programmes in the present day
but as it's based around one of my favourite areas of interest
it will be worth a gander overall.

"Here's Johnny!"

Just before I turn it in, a video from Swing Out Sister's live performance
in London which was brought to mind following a chat I had
at the Smoke Awards on Monday.

A performance of "Alpine Crossing" is followed at about 1 minute in
by an unexpected rendition of the original Tomorrow's World theme
as a tribute to it's composer, the late Johnny Dankworth and
I never realised how Corrinne could hit those high notes.

On hearing about it at first I was gutted I wasn't present to see
it done live, but this extract has lightened me up by quite a way.

Good Night.

The Numeracy Injection

My first stop off today was Heresden as always where more maintenance
was needed for the near ancient Pentium 4 machines.

I barely found it surprising that we couldn't upgrade them to Windows
7 but luckily, if I bring one of my hard drives with a copy of AVG and
the latest Internet Explorer, it should get them to a slightly better state
than they are currently.

That won't be for another couple of weeks however as the following
Wednesday I have arranged a whole day at the Learndirect centre
in Canterbury where I aim to complete my numeracy tests and
things are looking positives.

I'm still rubbish at working out percentages and decimals
that aren't divisions of five, but I'm hoping that I'll be able
to build confidence in those areas and get good results
by the end.

Whatever happens, it's best to start having a proper search in London
for anything going so on my visit there this weekend, I'll have a
gander and may stop over into hiring centres for Pret A Manger
and Nero if I can handle that.

I'd see it as a stop gap in place of finding a better job, but at
least it could secure me within the city.

And as an aside, good news about the Gorillaz headlining Glasto
in what looks set to be a stage stealer.

So far I have not found one disappointed comment or Tweet about
U2 having to pull out which says a lot, even if I do have
to resort to watching it on television instead of being there.

The Fifth Golden Gongfest

Despite the sweaty temperatures and my poor travel timing, last night's
Smoke Radio Awards were amazing.

It had a slightly moderate turn out compared to previous events
but that helped to ensure it was the first awards in a long while I've
been to where there was not an ego in sight, and everyone was just
in there to have a good time and a great laugh.

On arriving at Kensall Green, the first people I bumped into were one third
of last year's committee them being Lottie, Amy, and Alice.

We eventually got to the location where it was all happening, that
being the Prince William IV where it was good to meet a few new faces
from the current first year as well as the usual lot such as Matty, Manish,
Jade, Rob, Jamie, Luke and Nicola.

They've all been doing pretty well for themselves with Mattie, Manish,
and Jamie recently securing jobs as phone ops for 606 on 5 Live
which start in August.

Both Matthew Linfoot and Dave Sharp were present and I was placed on a
table with them and the current Smoke Committee.

In fact there were only two other tables, one for the 08-09 team
who all turned up bar one, and another table for everyone else.

After the impressive meal, the awards went into full flow compered by
the man who should have done so last year, that being Dan Roberts
with Matt and Manish operating the sound effects and Powerpoint.

It was a lot less formal than last year with no "presenting pulpits"
and a more irreverent tone to things and I really liked how each winner
was accompanied by music as they went up to collect their award
with tunes such as Professor Green, Timbaland's "Ever Meet Again",
and 3OH!3's "Starstrukk".

The trophy had been redesigned this year bearing a slight
resemblance to the golden fists handed out by Noel Edmonds
throughout the 90s.



Matty later referred to a certain TV channel's "Shafta Awards"
were instead of a microphone would be... No you can guess.

Winners this year included "Signal" for Best Daytime, the superb
"Going To Bed With Edd" for Best Specialist and a special prize
went to first year Darby Dorras who won two crates of Carlsberg
for his assistance during last week's "Smoke On Tour" broadcast.

During the presentation there were heckles from the audience
on Manish looking like Radio 1's Nihal, and Rob Crowther looking
like George Lamb although I personally think he sounds like
Broom Cupboard veteran Andy Crane.

Best of all though was the award for Worst Drunk where this
year it was decided by a shot contest between last year's winner
Nicola and her predecessor Sophie Clipsham.

Sophie managed to down her's the fastest getting the title
for this year, but by the end of the night, we all agreed that
Nicola was the real winner for reasons I'd prefer not to go into.

Also getting special acknowledgement were The Apple Bites Back/
The Rich And Spike Show, where only Spike was present but
the show definitely deserved the certificates for it's consistency
and irreverence over the last three years.

And they were probably the show to feature the most in the
Smoke Xmas Tape which for those who haven't heard it can
be found in a new home here.

At the end of the ceremony the committee was announced for
the following year.

I won't go into too much detail but was pleased to see the
first ever female co-head of Marketing and Branding, that being
a lovely woman called Rhianne who's already got things in mind
including a replacement for Nick Bright as the voice.

Next year also sees the first all male programming team
with Darby Dorras looking after daytime shows, and Sam Lovell
in charge of specialist, which resulted in what I guess will be
permanent nicknames "Daytime Darby" and "Specialist Sam".

And while we're at it, here's some photos of what antics went on;



The soon to be 606 team.


Matt and Nicola.



Bedders and fellow TV student Rosie.



Awards host Dan Roberts.



Rhianne, the new co-head of Branding.



Me, Jade, Rianne, Sam Lovell and JLC, I mean Oli P.



MC Shasha



The long haul home with Sophie, Frosty
Manish and Matty.

It may not be my last visit to this venue as on arrival I found a poster
advertising a gig from one of the best disc spinners set to make a
presence next month.



By the time we got out the tubes were shut and I ended up tagging
with everyone else on a visit back to halls or to be more specific
Darby's kitchen in the premium block.

Sophie and Jamie joined us where both let off steam for different reasons.
I've had my ups and downs with Sophie but it has to be said that I will
miss her as she's provided many a hilarious incident in the twilight days
of my University time.

After they went it myself and one half the 2010-2011 team
although there was also Australian exchange student Amelia with us
who at every interval started singing "Dream A Little Dream"
due to it's use in a certain television series recently.

I ended up leaving at 3am but with no money for the nightbus I was
screwed.

This meant heading over to the Harrow bus station where
to my irritation, there were no active Oyster machines.

Luckily (in a loose sense) there was a constant loop of
classical music playing including the Intermezzo from Raging Bull,
and Wolfgang Swallisch's "Symphony Number 7" better known
as Doug Stanhope's music on Screenwipe/Newswipe.

I managed to get the first tube over to the youth hostel
I was staying at and got a bit of shut eye before heading
back to Canterbury and getting a bit more.

I can safely say my body clock's been ruined, but I've recovered
in the past, if the halls bonfire of June '07 was anything to go by.

Overall it was an amazing night and it was nice to be invited
to what will probably be my last awards for the station.

And I may go as far as saying my favourite.

The Bronze Mic Bash 2010

I was reluctant to get out of bed this morning finally giving in at 8:50am.

Goodness knows how I'll manage tomorrow as I need to be back in
Canterbury by 11:30am after tonight's Smoke Awards.

The reason being is that I have an appointment at Laurel House
which may lead to more outbursts and moans of despair
but the hiding and un-following seems to be having a positive effect
if gradual.

Anyway, I've printed out my Google maps and it appears I'm staying
in Bayswater which is quite a way from Victoria, but it's not too far from
Paddington making it easy to change on to the Bakerloo line.

The awards themselves are taking place near Kensal Green and
from what I've seen in the event invite, the main course of the meal
is set to be a lot better than last year with a roast lamb dish on offer.

I'll do my best to be positive but that shouldn't be a problem
as those who didn't see the fun side of the station probably
won't even be there.

Judging by the Audioboos, and the photos uploaded
to Facebok it sounds like it's been a fun week
topped off by what I hope will be an entertaining night where
I'll get to meet a few new and familiar faces.


RIP Ray Alan - 1930-2010

The Metaphorical Thermometer

It really has been the best day for temperatures to reach
near-Med heights.
Or for those who read this and are too stupid to understand that
last sentence, that's "near Meditteranean heights".

I'll try and stay calm.

There's just too many other things that are intimidating me
but it seems that the possible long term solution
is either hiding the aggravations on Facebook or un-following those
responsible on Twitter.

I know it's not their intention to cause distress,
but I'm fed up with being left out of things, simple as.

Well to be fair there's been mine, and Joey's birthday do, and
the Smoke Awards tomorrow, but you get the idea.

I hope that will be topped off with next weekend's festivities
including Greenwich Jazz and Beer festival and me possibly
attending Chris Jones' birthday in Old Street.

After that I guess it's a case of saving as much money as possible.

That aside, tonight's show went pretty well with music such as Spyro Gyra,
Mezzoforte, Tower Of Power, and the amazing Joey Negro take on the
Matt Bianco classic "Half A Minute".

I believe that was the very song they were promoting
on Saturday Superstore, where one Simon Roberts
rang them up and uttered this memorable statement.

I may sleep with the windows open just to calm things down
and I really hope it's not the only night this year where
I resort to doing so.

Best to stay striving and not sulking.

Frolicking At The Farmhouse

Despite yet another lack of fruit flavoured alcohol, last night's
CSR social went moderately with even though there were only
about 5 or 7 of us.

I was first to arrive but was later joined by station manager Andrew
deputy manager Alex and his co-host Rhiannon who turned 19 this
morning.
There was also the overall manager Jamie who was on top form
even if he got a bit too keen on the dancefloor.

The guy spinning the discs had some really good stuff on him to
boot ranging from The Specials, to Primal Scream, and even a bit
of Roots Manuva.

Overall it wasn't too bad a night although with my
multiple visits back to London it was never going to be that raucous.

Dissection And Disillusion

Slightly disappointing start to today on finding that it's a bit
overcast outside, compared to what I was expecting.

I didn't have anything major planned however, well until 9pm when
I'll be heading over to the Farmhouse for CSR's member meet up
which I'm hoping will be OK.

I know for one thing that the drinking at my end will be moderate
as they don't serve any alcoholic ones that I like.

Elsewhere I had a "comedy catch up" last night with this week's
HIGNFY hosted rather well by Eamonn Holmes, and You Have Been Watching
where this week they finally gave a review of G**e even if it was shorter
than it could have been.

The best bit was Brooker's quote about it being "as life affirming
as the 1879 Tay bridge disaster in which 75 people died".

I've gone on about it a lot, but for me it's not really a case of
not getting it, it's simply a case of not wanting to have to sit through
the same plot lines every fucking week.

The panel on Brooker's show this week was good too,
even if Sarah Millican's laugh got a bit too much to handle.

On a long term point of view, I need to cut down on my outings.

If I finally do get to London there will be plenty of time for that anyway
and it will potentially cost less with not having to book hotels etc

And the good news is that my blog posts may start to become
interesting again!

Well, less gloomy at least.

"Put A Ring On It"

I'm in a slightly mellow mood today after the hectic goings on in Highgate
last night.

The weather is simply stunning outside and if I'd thought forward
I would have made a diversion to Brighton on arriving at Victoria station.

Not to worry though, when money's in a better shape I'll possibly
head down.

The event itself in Highgate was simply superb with a really
good set of guests for Joey's 25th including Lizzie, Pippa, Holly,
Chris Jones and Stedders, and Joey's housemate/Sun Talk
producer Sam Gregory.

Them two and myself were in a bit of a celebratory mood as it
was one year since the two of them were deservedly inaugurated
into the Smoke Hall Of Fame.

The best bit about the pub was the free of charge CD jukebox which
contained what seemed to be Paul Calvert's record collection
with LPs by Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, Sam Cooke, and a few punk compilations
just for good measure.

I headed back after midnight with Pippa ST, Holly, Chris and Stedders
where it got really chaotic wih Holly and James running into
each other, taking us all the way back to Pip and Holly's flat in Archway
where it got even worse.

Mainly due to Chris persuading us to start dancing to the Beyonce
"Single Ladies" video which I was pretty rubbish at but it was good fun
all the same.

I ended up walking all the way back with Chris and his housemate
Beccy through Holloway, and taking the remainder of the journey
on Camden Road where by the time I arrived back at the hostel
it was almost daylight.

I ended up walking from the hostel to Victoria station to save some money
and on a bright day as good as this, it was worth it.

And you know what, I managed without two vital parts of a
boozy Blamires night out, alcopops and my camera.

Yes, I ended up forgetting to take my camera from my holdall and
not realising until I got to Kentish Town and couldn't be arsed
to go back and collect it.

I'm sure Pip and Holly have got some photos of us mucking about
which I'll try and find from Facebook.

On a more positive note, last night gave me a bit more of a boost
to move forward, away from any angsts.

I shouldn't have to limit my options and I at this time I can temporarily
try to be flexible with things before searching for the long term earner.

In other words finding a smaller job in Canterbury in hope of finding
a bigger one in London.

Wishful thinking.

"All The People On The Right, Boogaloo"

I attended my LearnDirect induction this morning which was
basically a series of computer literacy and numeracy tests that
weren't too demanding.

We decided to concentrate more on taking a numeracy course for now
but if my blog is anything to go by, the literacy part should
hopefully re-emerge, despite getting the equivalent
of a Level 1 result.

I'm back there again on Wednesday afternoon which fits in nicely
after my weekly visit to help out at Heresden.

Tonight's going to be exciting mind.

I'm heading over to the Boogaloo club in Highgate for Joey's
25th birthday party where a really good turnout is expected
with plenty of familiar faces and a live band playing 90s
covers which I'm quite excited about.

I'll try and get some photos of it all and post them up tomorrow.

Whatever happens, it's going to be more than a little crazy.

"Remember My Name"

This is becoming inconvenient as I've been unable to access my e-mails
for the majority of today, due to easy.com being down.

Luckily I've managed to find a map on the Smart Backpackers site
and it turns out that the stopping off point isn't too far from Mornington
Crescent station and KOKO.

I may actually walk part of the way there as I once did exactly that from
Tufnell Park to Camden Town tube station in the very early days of
my Uni life.
Possibly before I'd even got involved with Smoke.

Having said that, it's exactly one year today since I presented
my last ever show for the station.
On a lower note, about 7 hours after that on the same day,
a greater abomination (and that takes some doing) hit US screens
as the pilot episode for "G**e" was broadcast.

When the same happened on our shores 7 months later it resulted
in the worst fucking breakdown I've had since my mental health
episode and I still feel that I haven't 100% recovered from it.

There have been one or two good interpretations of songs
in the series to be fair.

I was thinking of comparing it to "Fame" but having thought about
it, most of the songs from Alan Parker's film, later TV series
are actually superb if you take away the ever contrived set ups.

And they were original songs.

It's a hard one to judge.

Worth The Leg Stretch?

Another morning in Heresden where this week was less productive
than last, due to the computer administrator being absent.

There's a few other things I could possibly get involved in as
my internship starts to develop, such as helping with the art class
where people of any age meet up and are able to create superb
paintings despite not having any ability to do so before.

One such example being an impressive painting of a nearby
river, possibly the Stour near Toddler's Cove which is a really good place
to go to in this sort of weather.

It's essentially Canterbury's answer to Hampstead Heath.

It will improve, as long as I'm consistent then it will be
something worth adding to the C.V.

Well, anything's worth adding really.

I really want to get back into the habit of reading whilst
things are still looking uncertain, so I may attempt to give
some of the books by Nick Hornby a go, just to give me
an excuse to rummage through my recent music downloads.

It could end up being far more entertaining than radio listening.

My First "Sensible" Awards Do?

There's always short term hope waiting in otherwise shaky situations
as with the help of Matty ID I've sent out the payment
for the awards to the required address, as well as finding somewhere
to stay in Central that evening.

This will be the fifth Smoke Awards to have taken place and having attended
all of them, it will make a pleasant change for everyone to see me leave
empty handed, save for a fair few booze receipts.

Early start tomorrow, as I'm at Heresden again, and later on
I'm sorting the night's meal out.

I'm very tempted to use the expensive quick cook spaghetti I used
last time to make another bol as that was very near to perfection
as the spag bols served in Venice.

Tonight on the other hand will be partly spent listening to the first of
Richard Herring's "As It Occurs To Me" podcasts, now in their second series.

It's also worth bringing up this blog post from Herring's podcast partner
and 6 Music presenter Andrew Collins as to why the banal content of
it's competitors such as XFM are no match for the BBC's uniqueness.

Desperate Despatchments

Ugh, it's overcast over here in Canterbury and I'm really uncertain
about things.

Mainly about Monday as despite sending Facebook messages and voicemails
I haven't heard back from Rob about where to send the money
for the Smoke Awards to, especially as the payment deadline is tomorrow.

My last resort is to get in touch with his housemates as they're heavily
involved throughout the proceedings but even if it goes to pot,
it will save me some money travelling to and from London at least.

But at the same time it will be a shame, as it would be good to see
some of the old lot again.

It's almost like the "Good News Bad News" game they used to play
on Radio 4's "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue", but a lot less funny.

In terms of radio listening, today's always good as Richard Bacon
on 5 Live does his TV review on Tuesdays with Boyd Hilton and this week
they're joined by fellow critic and "tasteless Tweeter" Kevin O'Sullivan
from the Sunday Mirror.

Definitely a case of needed escapism from humdrum, depending
on what your definition of "humdrum" is.

"You Used Your Initiative!"

I made a start tonight on viewing my other birthday present
as sent by my sister, the DVD boxset of Grange Hill series 1 and 2.

I've had them on DVD-R in third generation picture quality for a while
so to see them in a slightly sharper perspective (by about 5%)
is an improvement.

Despite it being only two years since being given the push
many will feel like it's been off our screens for a lot longer, and it did lose
it's edge of naughtiness towards the end with it's multiple location
changes etc.

Anyway, if they were to remake the programme with exactly
the same characters as in 1978, Alexander Armstrong would be perfect
within the role of form tutor Mr Mitchell who was the most prominent
of the teachers that appeared in the first two series.

Then again, the slightly posher half of Armstrong & Miller has a hand
in children's drama today, as the voice of "Mr Smith" in
"The Sarah-Jane Adventures".

I'm about halfway through series one which only had 9 episodes
where I've just seen the infamous episode involving the boys
messing about in the swimming pool.

The large number of complaints to Points Of View saw the episode being
banned from being repeated until 1993 when CBBC started showing
the old episodes on Sunday mornings.

However the part that made me laugh when seeing it first time round
was when they hung up Justin's trousers on a broom and waved it
like a flag out of the window.
I'm pretty certain it was what inspired the opening titles to the original
Auntie's Bloomers 13 years later.

I'm looking forward to viewing the second series which started to
develop a greater set of characters and sub-plots which was
helped in the episode increase, hence show being scheduled
twice weekly.

To finish with for tonight, a gem by Bobby Hebb later covered
by Boney M, which in turn was sampled by Mark Ronson.

Night.

Sony Moanies

This week seems to be getting busier.

In addition to the weekly visit to Heresden on Wednesday,
I have also signed up for a free Learndirect course in Canterbury
High Street on Thursday morning which will hopefully give me
more of an idea of what they have to offer in terms of providing
something extra to prove myself with.

It's rather weird this week as it's the annual summer finale
broadcast for Smoke Radio which this year is going under the banner
"Smoke On Tour" going from campus to campus every day this week
up to Friday.

On returning from Canterbury I gave a brief listen to
the two Sams, Sam Foster and Sam Lovell who were doing
a show devoted to Smiths songs where the one they played for
Oli P who followed them was "The Boy With A Thorn In His Side".

Ideally in his case, "Panic" would be far more appropriate.

I may spend the rest of the afternoon going through a few podcasts
from The Radio Academy where this week's looks back
at last Mondays Sony Awards with the very civilised pairing of 5 Live controller
Adrian Van Klaveren, and Moz Dee the MD for talkSPORT joining host
and fellow Coventry man Trevor Dann.

The parts that's resulting in my "helium voice" is when they
start going on about stations and station staff who see getting
bronze or silver as "losing", especially from a commercial radio
point of view.

But then again, I bet that from their angle, winning awards means
winning more advertisers.

This is definitely becoming one of my favourite podcasts alongside
James Masterton's Chart Update, and Richard Herring's "As It Occurs To Me".

In terms of the former, it's essentially just people speaking
in depth about two subjects that I have too much time for.

The Status Shunning

It is mezzin' outside, enough said, and the plan for this morning
is to get my birthday money in the bank and to get over
to the job centre.
It's the ideal time for searching and sending (well being more motivated
to do so anyway) and it's probably just to go for any old earner.

I know it's not really the nicest way of dealing with angsts, but
I've also started hiding statuses on on Facebook as that's partly
what discourages me and results in sleepless nights with thoughts
constantly circling.

I know that "the grass may not always be greener" but the difference
is that a lot of them are in London in the long term and I'm not.

Don't worry if you're one of those who reads this on a day to day basis
or showed up at the crawl on Saturday.
You're still safe although "safe" isn't really the operative word
if one of us wants to start an argument on the most stupid of issues.

But as I keep saying, that's what makes it more fun as
it would be very dull if everyone had the same viewpoint.

For example I've been a bit weary about giving Moyles
a listen this week due to all the incestuous promotion for
the Big Weekend in Bangor this coming Saturday, but as they're
video streaming the show online this week, it gives more a sense of
involvement.

I wouldn't suggest they do it all the time because it got rather
tired after they did it last summer, but to be honest I've always
been on and off when listening to Moyles and could never listen for
a whole year straight.

The whole medium of radio can be a stress/intensity producer.

"You've Lost The News!"

I've finally arrived home after what was quite an exhaustive tube/train/bus
journey back.

Thankfully it was nowhere near as awkward as the Acton via Ashford
shambles two months ago.

As I'm now back and set up properly, I can upload a few more photos
that I took yesterday morning when I decided to re-visit my
birthplace of Forest Gate;



Forest Gate railway station. I hardly ever went
on a train from there when I lived here.



Reginald Road, the road where we lived.



And this was the house where we lived
where all that television was consumed, resulting
in me being the twisted state I'm in now.



The nearby play area. Always confused
me with regards to the nearby football team.

On the journey back I read what I could of the Chris Morris biography
"Disgusting Bliss" which is a must read for any fan of radio and comedy
in the early 90s looking at how Chris Morris developed from a presenter
BBC Radio Cambridgeshire, to his comedy shows at GLR and "On The Hour"
for BBC Radio 4.

I'm now up to the bit where it looks into the making of "The Day Today"
and am looking forward to reading about what happened behind "Brass Eye".

I never knew there was such a rivalry between Morris, and the similar styled
Victor Lewis-Smith who had a Radio 1 series around the same time as
Chris Morris but the future TV critic ended up becoming the reverse
of Charlie Brooker in the end, career-wise.

But rather than read my ramblings, buy the book.

We're dying for people in broadcasting who are creative as well
as funny, and it's more than a tiny bit inspiring.

The "Long High Speed Travel Home"

I've just managed to wake up although I'm a bit intimidated
that no trains will be going to Canterbury East today
due to engineering works.

This means getting the high speed over to Canterbury West
and seeing if I can remain sane throughout.
Already I'm starting to regret what happened last night but
that's always a case with the boozy stuff.

I've also managed to remember a few more things that took place
yesterday possibly worth mentioning;

• On viewing the DVD, the suggestion that this BT ad from
  the 80s was the "Webuyanycar" of it's day.
• Accidentally knocking Tudor's pint glass at the Mile End pub
  as a result of my excitement.
  
• The arguments on what defined "too geeky" by "my rules.
• Tudor's suspicions that Light Of The World were a Christian rock act.
  
• Chris and Steven arguing about how The X Factor is "better"
  than Britain's Got Talent in terms of "embarrassing acts.

I spent the night slept on the front room sofa, which I didn't feel
the need to unfold but it wasn't didn't feel awkward.

Hopefully if the Eurovision do goes ahead in two weeks I'll be back over
here in what will most likely be a very packed Bank Holiday Weekend
with the Greenwich Jazz and Beer festival later on.

I'm just searching for somewhere to stay on the "East London Leg"
of that visit and then I'll make my way back to Canterbury.

The "Not Quite But Fun Crawl"...

As expected, no one actually showed up in Stratford apart from Tudor
and we spent about an hour or so in the former Yates pub near
the Stratford Centre for about an hour or so before moving onto
Mile End and meeting up with Steven and Caroline.

We found a rather nice place which was showing the cup final
but we went into the beer garden where joining us shortly
later were Landers and Spike who it was good to see after
what seemed like eternity.

Following Tudor's advice, we decided to abandon the idea of stopping
at every single stop en route to Tottenham Court Road and get off
at Liverpool Street, but because we could find a pub with adequate seating
we made our way to an old haunt, that being the nearby Spoons at Holborn
station.

Joining us there were Chris and J-Dawg along with his partner who it
was good to meet and we got some grub down us where I rather
predictably went for the spag bol.

Chris, Steven and Tudor then got deep into some proper political discussion
following last week's election results which more or less goes to show
that a Uni lifetime of discussing about radio in a similar manner can
progress into discussing the running of the country in a similar manner
with differing opinions.

Caroline also spoke about hear despair that "Flash Forward" has been
dropped which I had no idea about.

I'm not the biggest fan of that series, but I'm wishing that it
was Glee that suffered the fate.

Bollocks.

Myself and Tudor headed back over to Ealing where we watched
what became a very "undersold" (well the first 20 minutes anyway) DVD
that I've been raving about for the last week or so.

It basically involved a really badly made film made as part of a project
from the year below me at college which was their attempt at a horror
film but the bad use of auto focus, badly written dialogue, poor visual effects, breaking the 180 degree rule and many a continuity error made "The Room"
look perfectly tame.

This was then followed by an edition of the ITV Chart Show from 1991
as shown on the Vault but edited with LWT continuity and ads in-between
which got Chris and Tudor in hysterics and just general pisstaking
over facts about Kenny Thomas and Level 42 that no one gave a toss about.

It was interesting to see that they were genuinely interested
in some of the vintage ads, most notably the 1988 LBC ad
based on the opening to the original series of "The Prisoner" notable for
being one of the most bizarre promotional campaigns for a radio station.

It even lent itself to a pisstake by the Bastard Brothers,
although the CD-R I have it on is back in Canterbury as I type.

However the spoof horror film more or less overshadowed everything else on
the DVD and rightly so, where on the possibility of a Eurovision night in two weeks over here, it's more than likely that it will get a re-showing for
anyone else who plans to show up.

I'm crap at making things sound exciting because I'm a boring old bastard.

And because I'm now 25, all those last three words in the above
sentence are operative.

So with my 25th nearing an end it was a nice way to spend it and
I'm certain that there's plenty more to come in the rest of May.

My favourite month of the year, nuff said.

Before The Hangover...

This is probably the only chance I've got to do a proper blog today,
so let's cut to the chase and give a quick review of George Duke
at Ronnie Scott's.

The warm up act was a return appearance for the superb Natalie Williams
who I saw opening at the same venue for Matt Bianco last year
and both her and the band gave some superb vocal renditions
of "Blue Moon", the amazing Sam Cooke song "A Change Is Gonna Come"
and a fantastic and original interpretation of Paul Simon's
"50 Ways To Leave A Lover".

Then came George himself with a fantastic backing band particularly
the bass player, the drummer and the guitar player as well as two
superb backing vocalists.

Some of the tunes went on for a bit as many a fusion based tune would
but personal highlights included a renditon of the song "My Piano"
from the 2002 album "Face The Music".

This blended in quite a few familiar songs such as Airto Moireira's
"Celebration Suite" (or Samba Di Janeiro for the clubbers amongst us)
and even Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze" which got me going.

I also liked it in the introduction where George explained how boogie evolved
into jazz, jazz evolved into rock and roll, and it burst into many genres,
with someone in the audience yelling "country!" followed by a few jeers
which had me laughing.

The finale involved possibly George's best known tune "Brazillian Love Affair"
with many a keyboard and bass solo and it managed to finish in good time
so I could get back to the hotel by 11:30pm.

Anyway my battery's starting to run low so I'd best get moving.
It's going to be chaotic.

The Silver Stumbles Get Close

Radio 2 appears to be revelling in its latest success story as
it's been confirmed that in October, Graham Norton will be stepping
into Wossy's Saturday morning shoes.

This is a week before he steps in to cover for Chris Evans on Breakfast
during the run up to Eurovision, but I doubt it will be anything
to distract me from Colin Murray's Fighting Talk on 5 Live
which he's still continuing with despite being promoted
as the host of MOTD2.

Have I Got News For You last night was disappointing with
Ian turning into a schoolteacher at one point shouting at
Chris Addison when they were arguing about Brown.

I'm hoping this episode will be just the one duffer in the current
series, although Eamonn Holmes is hosting next week and
him being from Sky News should give the teams a bit of ammunition.

You Have Been Watching this week was on top form
with a good set of guests including the increasingly
attractive Victoria Coren, and the programme itself was a Bastards
special.

As well as the fictional characters and talent show judges, Charlie
also laid into another of his long standing grudges, annoying
advertising campaigns with Boots' "Here Come The Girls" and
Webuyanycar.com getting a much deserved lambasting.

The series looks set to carry on well until the end
with Reginald D Hunter as a guest next week, and a Kids TV
special also lined up which has been nicely timed, following
the clip I posted a few days ago of Charlie's appearance on Toonattik.

No time like the present mind, and what looks set to
be an amazing live performance from George Duke at Ronnie Scott's
later this evening.

I'm likely to end up standing as usual but I'm sure we'll get
to hear one of the uptempo offerings which will most likely
be "Brazilian Love Affair".

Then comes tomorrow which I'm a tiny bit uncertain about, I.E.
the willingness of those wanting to travel and visit places
in London they're unfamiliar with.

I'm hopeful that whatever happens, we'll go to a good set of pubs
and set myself challenges of having to drink pints that I don't
like if my preferred tipple isn't served.

That's bound to make things more exciting for certain.

Overall I hope this weekend is a well deserved break from all uncertainties.

The Weekly Laugh Infestation

Tomorrow's going to be horrendously busy.

But in a good way.

Again, another statement that doesn't make sense as it can't be horrendous
and good at the same time.

But anyway, at around midday I will be heading for the high speed,
first of all stopping off in Ashford for what will be my first social skills
meeting since February.

And I'm sure group leader Des will be gloating over Tottenham getting
into the Champions League if the opportunity comes.

From there I'm headed straight for Stratford and onto the
Underground so I can drop my stuff off at the hotel I'm stopping
over in South Woodford before heading over to Ronnie Scott's
and George Duke who will be performing.

One of my favourite soul/jazz recording artists yet I've
never seen him live before so to attend just before my 25th birthday
makes it extra special.

As for tonight, it's laughs galore with a heavily anticipated
Have I Got News For You, partly because political eyesore
Julia Hartley-Brewer is one of the panellists.

And later on Brooker's back with guests David Mitchell and Victoria
Coren with a You Have Been Watching special devoted to "Bastards".

Coincidentally David and Victoria were also on Charlie's new Radio 4
panel game "So Wrong It's Right" which is still on iPlayer
although on listening to it, I couldn't tell if it was David or Charlie who
was fronting the show.

At least laughter's something I'm not yearning for to be taken back
20 years ago.

"The Figures Are In"

More positive outcomes at the end, or should that be the start
of the next day, them being the much awaited RAJAR results
which have now been made public.

After much speculation it turns out that Chris Evans has indeed
increased BBC Radio 2's breakfast timeslot with an audience of
over 9 million listeners, and over at BBC 6 Music there has been a
surge of new listeners following the announcement of the station's closure,
increasing the reach to 50%.

From a commercial angle in my neck of the woods, Heart has dipped from
355,000 to 339,000 listeners and KMFM in East Kent has fallen slightly
less steeper from 99 to 92 thousand listeners.

If anything, it's further proof that commercial radio over here
needs more than just a kick up the backside.

A possible area for the "Defend The Indefensible" round
on Fighting Talk if ever.

Shake Ups And Screwed Up

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's had "Let's Get Ready To Rhumble"
stuck in my head throughout today, as the coalition between Cameron and Clegg continues to stay prominent in the public's mind.

Whichever way you view it, it's bound to be this decade's answer
to the relationship between Bush and Blair as I imagine Steve Bell,
Rory Bremner etc will soon latch on to.

Elsewhere with the series being responsible for mixed feelings,
notably a mental breakdown at the beginning of the year,
Matthew Morrison AKA "Mr Schu" from Glee has mentioned
in an interview that he hopes the series "won't fizzle out" in
the near future.

And I'm hoping that Frankie Boyle will rejoin Mock The Week.

Says it all.

Whilst the Madonna EP wasn't too bad, they'll come a time in
at least 18 months when everyone's fed up with the insane barrage of
karaoke covers and records produced by Fraser T Smith that are
dominating the bland parade.

And yet I obsess my life with records which are arguably a lot worse
in the form of piano led dance with synthesised brass and bouncing
basslines.

It was everywhere, even to the point of accompanying
the under 5s birthdays on CBBC.

You've got to love a bit of Kim Appleby.

Whilst everyone else seems to have a habit of listing their
five favourite tunes on Facebook, here's a quick link to a rather scratchy
12incher from around that same period; "Children Of The World" by Yolanda
Reynolds that didn't do that well commercially, but I have been unable to
stop playing it in the last couple of days.

To play piano like that would be something I'd love to have in me,
although I doubt many could be arsed to learn such complicated chords
in the present day.

The Longest Upgrade

Last night was rotten.

I struggled to get to sleep whilst going through feelings of
personal fear, spite, and being distraught amongst many others.

When there's too much going on and you don't know how
to respond to things, it's a nightmare when those who think they
know better try to defecate at a very tall height.

On a wider scale, the next few months could be very interesting
indeed and it will take time for everything to become stable
on a political level.

But when have things been stable?
That pretty much defeats the point of the last paragraph.

That aside I made my way to Hersden this morning where I was given
the task of dealing with half a network of computers running on Windows
XP and very slowly at that.

Basically I had to sort out their updating and de-fragmenting software
and getting Windows update to work seemed impossible as the limitations
from the manager account I was using, prevented me from changing the
time Windows Update would activate.

And judging by the state of those machines it looks like it will take over
a week to fully update them.

Hopefully this role will get busier as my time progresses and I will
be back there next week.

On a positive note, I have been invited to the 5th Smoke Radio Awards
taking place on the Monday before Whit Week at a location around the Kensal Green area, not too far from where the 2008 gongs, or should that be mics
were presented.

It will be good to see some familiar faces, and possibly a few more
veterans if they're reviving the Hall Of Fame, getting a more
deserved place on them compared to my embarrassment last year.

I won't be smuggling any VKs this time round however
so I'll probably be sober throughout.

Whatever happens I am 100% certain it won't be as uncomfortable
as the CSR back-pat fest from two months ago.

"The Blue Dicks Are On Top... But Enough About Chelsea"

I can take a joke.

It would be too easy to call this blog post "What A Difference A Day Makes"
regardless of what angle you wish to take it.

David Cameron has now been initiated into Number 10 with the major
aim of wanting to regain the public's trust in politics.
From a personal point of view I'm just glad that things can go back to
normal, away from wall to wall politics from a media angle.

Well, we're not quite done yet as on Channel 4's Alternative Election Night
last Thursday, I managed to spot who I thought was a familiar sighting
in the audience, that being Westminster radio rebel Phil Landers.

Judge for yourself in the photo below, with regards to the fella
in the second left on the bottom row.



My thoughts turned out to be not so, as the man himself was on
Facebook chat at the same time.
And there's a notable lack of stubble on that fella anyway so
I've no idea how I could make such a mistake.

Tomorrow's quite an early start as I'm heading up all the way to
Hersden Community Centre to do some voluntary admin stuff for them.

Well I say it's a long way but anywhere as far as Sturry
seems like a major venture, if you know Canterbury well.

Which I doubt many people who read this would.

To finish with however, I'm fully certain that BBC Three will
be getting it's highest viewing ever figures tonight at 10pm
considering the timing of the inaugaration.

Sonys And Uncertainties

It was a good night at the Sonys yesterday, not that I was actually there
of course.

No, I meant results wise as Adam & Joe managed to win the Best Comedy
award for their BBC 6 Music Show, Scott Mills won a very respectable
gong for music personality and Zane Lowe got the award for Best Specialist
Music programme.

They may not all fall into my favour but it really can't be denied that
they stand out from each other.

Winning the gold award this year was Trevor Nelson, who with a
25 year long career has definitely proved himself as one of the
most recognised figures in promoting black music and with three
different shows currently on 3 BBC stations it adds to the amount
of commitment and ability to stay on the ball.

And he's a Chelsea supporter.

And well done to Moray Firth Radio in Inverness for winning the
under 300,000 station of the year category, and 5 Live winning
the overall Station Of The Year award.

It's definitely the station I seem to be listening to the most
these days as well, I.E on a proper radio and not via the internet.

Awards aside, it looks set to be another long day in terms
of finding out who the Lib Dems choose to ally with,
if that's the right word.

I'm almost to the point of not giving a bollocks anymore
or to be more specific, not being sure as to
how far this can go.

And with Labour without a successor to Brown as I type,
I'm fearing the worst as without an understanding of how
hung parliaments work prior to last week, I'm not sure if I'll
be able to look at the Lib Dems in the same light again if they
choose to go with Cameron.

Lib-Labia

Sky News's continuing digression into becoming a fully fledged UK answer
to Fox News hit a new low today as illustrated in this clip with
Adam Boulton losing his rag with Labour adviser Alistair Campbell over
his presumptions that he's not happy about Cameron not getting enough
votes to get into Number 10.

I just love how presenter Jeremy Thompson is completely drowned out by
the two of them continue to argue as he tries to link into the subsequent VT.

I'm fully certain this will get played on all the topical comedy shows
this week and am fully certain that this won't be the last of such
gaffes from the one sided broadcaster.

Tomorrow's a sort of busy one.
I need to get a parcel sent out to a fellow Westminster student,
collect my tablets from Boots, and buy the new Radio Times.

And I need to get up beforehand.

"Double Top Please Dave"

So was tonight worth staying up for?

Well it definitely seems like the fastest four hours I've had,
booze free of course.

The Moyles documentary was pretty good although it was a
tiny bit anti-climatic in a sense of "boldly going where all
other radio documentaries have gone before".

In other words there was nothing new or any uncovered
revelations that I'm sure many fans would loved to have
found out more of.

It was good to see the Blood On The Carpet documentary again
even if the outbursts were bleeped, but that didn't stop it from
showing Adrian Juste as the bitter old buffoon he really is.

Best of all was the vintage episode of Wogan which was notable
for many reasons.

One being the musical cues for when the guests were introduced
which happened to be muzak versions of JAM and PAMS Radio 1
jingles.
One of them being the "Rock" cut from the 1980 package
and the PAMS "London Bridge" jingle from the original 1967 set.

The studio guests were Tony Blackburn and John Peel together,
then interviews with four other members of the then "old guard"
quite a few had moved on to commercial radio with Pete Murray
at LBC and Ed Stewart then at Radio Mercury in Surrey.

Dave Cash even wore his Invicta Radio t-shirt on display!

I don't do this often nowadays, but I recorded just about everything
onto VHS, save for Blood On The Carpet which I already have
from it's 2001 transmission with the swearing intact.

And just for the fun of it, some of my favourite Radio 1 jingles
over the last 40 years;

"The UK's Number 1" (1992)



"Britain's Favourite Music Station" (1987)



"Late Night Hours" (1967)



"Good Morning!" (1976)



"Gary Davies Bit In The Middle" (1987)



"Ask For A Song" (1984)



"The Best Music" (1980)



"Happy 21st Birthday" (1987/88)



"1FM-Soul" (1994)



"1FM-Ragga" (1994)



"Beats" (2000)



Plenty of memories spanning many different generations
of the station.

I'm hoping tonight doesn't dominate too much discussion
on the Central line crawl on Saturday but then again,
that's like expecting me not to drink any WKDs.

Missing The Glorious Event

The Blues managed to win the Premiership trophy for 2009/2010
in the most amazing way possible, yet I was stuck in a badly
organised studio in the bowels of Kent University as the
8 goals were firing in the back of the net.

I was even more irritated due to the fact that a gaggle of
station members were rammed in the main studio pre-reccing
a show, cackling throughout, and exiting just minutes before
I was due to go on air.

Further proof of feeling left out of proceedings and that CSR
should shorten it's name to "SR".
They really can't get it round their heads that a lot of work and
kicks up the backside need to be undertaken.

And maybe get someone in who actually knows a thing or two
about radio to have a more hands on position within
the station management.

I'd try and forget it all but that method would fail as BBC 2 have
their schedule for tonight all out for radio obsessives.

It will hopefully provide some light relief and a few laughs where apt.

"You Know You Gotta, You Don't Wanna But You Gotta"

Just returned from Canterbury where I got my new glasses,
and whilst there I noticed that they've finally done something
with what used to be the Woolworths branch.

They've turned it into a Poundland.

I'd imagine it's some sort of relief for one of the things I miss from
Harrow, but until we get a Wenzel's in Canterbury I won't
be fully satisfied.
None of our bakers can match the standard of the superb bloomers,
partly due to the fact that there are hardly any independently
run bakers in Canterbury.

That aside, it's going to be quite a night, starting off with the last
Blam Jam before my 25th birthday where I plan to include two classic
Joey Negro tracks including the amazing "Love Situation".

In the true Blamires tradition, it's one of those tracks I've banned myself
from listening to over the course of 5 months or so before tonight
just to make it extra special.

Then of course it's BBC 2's Radio 1 night with the centrepiece
being Chris Moyles interviewing a selection of Radio 1's
past presenters of the breakfast show.

Apart from Moyles, the only one I really developed a habit of listening
to was Simon Mayo who adapted the zoo format which was sort of
used by Steve Wright on his afternoon show, but with Mayo it was
a lot more irreverent and less wacky.

But then again I'm 100% certain that the main reason I never really
listened to Radio 1's Breakfast Show pre-Moyles was because
of a part-creation by a future DJ of that very show,
that being Channel 4's Big Breakfast which was at it's height
when hosted by Chris Evans, and latterly Johnny Vaughan.

Come to think of it Zoe Ball hosted that show, just over a year
before starting at Radio 1 although I'm pretty certain she'd prefer
to forget her time at Old Ford Lock.

Whilst on the other hand, when Zoe started hosting the breakfast
show on her own, it was around the time I started going off
Radio 1 as a long term listener, when everyone else who was the same
age as me was starting to get into it.

I was definitely born ten years too late.

That aside, it will be a night of solid viewing.

The Axed Attik

Not a good start to today after spotting a status from fellow
Jinglemadder Aston McNeil, a man who shares the same desires
for female television presenters as yours truly.

Due to cutbacks from ITV's buyout of GMTV, their live weekend strand
Toonattik has axed it's presenters and from next week will be replacing them
with animated characters, a move that has always turned out for the worse
following CITV's similar move in 2004 in the ever declining climate
of live television.

Jamie Rickers and the almost attractive Anna Williamson have
now been put out to pasture after 5 years of hosting what has
probably been the last proper live Saturday early morning show
for younger viewers even if it has been an excuse for mucking
about in two minute links in between otherwise unimpressive
animations.

And is it some sort of law that any show of this sort has to
be set in a pretend house, or a particular room of a pretend house?

That aside, it's probably an excuse to relive one of the more infamous
moments of the show from December 2008 and an appearance
from the "Angry News Guy", who I'm sure I've seen before,
can't think where though.

It pretty much goes to show however that the bosses may have
a point.

The current generation of younger viewers simply aren't into this
sort of television, and probably don't have it switched on at all
with iPhones, and over such things providing their entertainment.

Whereas such programmes only really appeal to those of an older
generation searching for the next Sally James.

Having said that, Toonattik's timeslot was a breeding ground
for many people who went onto bigger things, namely
Fearne Cotton who started off on the Disney Club and Diggit
over ten years ago.

And to be honest I found her just as irritating then,
as I do with her as a radio presenter.

Overall, if you put all this into perspective could animated characters
be hosting the equivalent of The X Factor in 5 years time?

They would definitely have a lot more personality than those taking
part, that's for certain.

Needing A New Lens

Sky News have had it in for them today.

Presenter/reporter Kay Burley got the worst of it as she was heckled
by anti Murdoch protesters at Westminster as seen in this video
which has been spreading like mad in the last few hours.

Says it all really.

Other than that nothing else has really been happening.

Doctor Who was pretty good set in Venice although the plotline
of next week's episode looks more than just inspired.
And there was also episode 4 of the series 4 of Britain's Got Talent
where this week they headed to Scotland where the majority
of auditionees were apalling.

And that's not to say that Scotland doesn't have talent, only
that those who want to follow in the footsteps of K.T. Tunstall,
Finley Quaye, Paolo Nutini, and Sandi Thom (?) would prefer to
go elsewhere to get themselves known rather than
have Soulless Simon stick his hand up them.

Busy day tomorrow, first a visit to Specsavers to collect my new lens
for my glasses, and later on of course it's the title race to decide
who will reach the top of the Premiership.

Let's hope the Red Bastards get their just desserts.

"I Was Robbed"

As expected, the humour created from today's anti-climax
managed to provide much needed relief from both Radio 4's
The News Quiz and tonight's Have I Got Election News For You
where Lembit Opik made a brave appearance on Paul Merton's team.

And yes, he did bring his mouth organ with him.

I won't give away too many of the gags but there were some
amusing ones about Nigel Farage's plane crash, the whole
"bigot-gate" incident from last week, and a fantastic joke
at the end about the best solution to end the fuss over
which party allies with whom.

Definitely much needed laughter after an otherwise depressing
day on what is becoming one of the most disappointing years
I've lived through.

Just about every "major event" ends up being a disappointment
regardless of my optimism that no bugger around me seems
to share.

However joking aside, we've all got an excuse to be miserable
whilst we're screwed as a country.

The Stiff Horse

I was in front of the television in the front room for most of this afternoon
where the uncertainty continued.

I ended up falling asleep for about 45 minutes after Cameron
made his speech at the Conservative headquarters but woke
up about 45 minutes later to see David Dimbleby finish
the live coverage before switching to Countdown on Channel 4.

I haven't watched the show for a few months but it was good
to see one of the puzzles including "Moonset" which was
Richard Whiteley's favourite word.

It's easy for me to forget that the late presenter of Countdown
was once a political journalist himself, being a major contributor
to Yorkshire Television's election coverage even after retiring
from Calendar.

As it happens, former co-presenter Austin Mitchell retains his Labour
seat in Grimsby, whilst other ex television presenters have made their
way in as Conservative MPs including ex This Morning presenter Anna Soubry
and Esther McVey the one time right hand man of Eamonn Holmes on
"How Do They Do That".

Away from all the uncertainty, there is good news elsewhere
in that Zoo Magazine have dropped Danny Dyers agony uncle column
after the jokey response suggesting to a reader about
cutting a woman's face off.

Further proof that it's columnists are about as brain dead
as the readers.

Cutting To The Chase

Well this is a first.

No solid result on waking up after a results night and a hung parliament.

Thanks to the very well laid out analysis on the BBC News website
I've got it round my head that although the Conservatives
may have the most seats, at 290 seats to 247 (Labour) as of typing
it's not enough to have a majority and Gordon Brown has the decision
as leader whether to resign or to come up with some sort of deal.

It's going to take a long time to unfold it has to be said.

Telly wise it hasn't been too bad with Channel 4 providing the goods
on their Alternative Election Night with David Mitchell coming across
really well as a serious political moderator, surprisingly.

It was rather hit and miss but when it was funny, it was possibly able
to have me waking up those downstairs with my cackling.

The rest of the night was spent watching the live streaming via the
BBC website until falling asleep around 4am.

That aside tonight will hopefully be a night of solid laughs
with the much awaited HIGNFY Election Special, Facejacker,
and the animated Ricky Gervais Show.

For now though I'll carry on watching the live streaming.

"And I Don't Hear, What You Gotta Say"

Stand up comedy's stunt double for Bez lived up to expectations yesterday
at the Apollo with an amazing performance with the title
"Elvis Has Left The Building".

The title relates to a part of the show where John talks about turning
42 years old and how he tries to avoid the pitfalls of his hero Elvis Presley
who died at that very age.

I won't give anything away but you can probably imagine what was mentioned.

Other parts included his anecdotes on appearing on Celebrity Mastermind,
hosting the 2009 Kitchen Utensil Awards, and realising a lifelong dream
to play at Anfield as part of a special charity match commemorating the
Hillsborough disaster.

With a new stand up tour in the Autumn and a DVD out as well
I can see the "Bish" showing no signs of disappearing.

Tonight's entertainment should hopefully meet up to expectations,
with Channel 4's Alternative Election Night.

One of the specials will be an MP themed "Come Dine With Me" where
two of those taking part will be Derek Hatton and Edwina Currie who
I'm surprised are willing to be on-screen together after their
insult-fest on Have I Got News For You back in 1993.

Paul and Ian have long referred to it as the worst show they ever did
and unsurprisingly none of the contestants have appeared on the show
again.

I'd best get over to the polling station and get all the rubbish over with.

My Visit To The Stand Up Stadium

I'm hardly feeling any sense of motivation today.

Not even the prospect of John Bishop at the Apollo can lift things
up but I'm sure it will be better on arrival at the venue itself.

I've not been there since the Frankie Beverly and Maze gig so to
see a proper stand up performance there really will be different
and I'm hoping it's the first of many.

Beforehand, this morning I'm meeting up with another individual
in Canterbury to talk about yet another possible volunteering opportunity
that seem to be coming up every so often.

Getting them off the ground is always the part that struggles.

I'm staying over in Ealing again tonight, but will need to get back
in time tomorrow to vote.

And whatever the outcome, the good news is that this week's
Have I Got News For You will be going out on Friday at 8:30pm
which I'm guessing will be recorded on the day itself
like it's been done for previous elections.

Whoever's idea it was to schedule it on a Thursday in the first
place needs some sort of formal to severe warning.

Whatever the outcome, the next 48 hours will start to get more
exciting as things progress.

"Ad-agio"

With the news that the BBC are to drop Rick Wakeman's
"King Arthur" for a second time as their Election theme tune,
I ended up discovering another offering from the former member of
the prog-rock act who were once referred to as "the shittest band on earth".

"The Pearl and Dean Piano Concerto" is a well arranged yet amusing
blend of classic ad slogans mainly from the 70s and 80s
with examples such as Opal Fruits and Mr Sheen being given the classical
piano treatment.

Rather disappointed that Carling Black Label isn't included
but that doesn't spoil it altogether.

No one's around until late tonight so I'm sorting out my own meals again
which will involve as you'd expect, a stock cube and some expensive M&S pasta.

I may also re-visit the HIGNFY series from the 2005 election which featured
the toe-curling titles to Andrew Neil's "This Week" based on "Amarillo".

Thankfully they're not as embarrassing as the current ones based on
the Wizard Of Oz.

A Night Devoted To The Happy Sound

This Sunday's going to be amazing.

The tension from the Premiership title decider, my last Blam Jam show
before taking a week off for the birthday crawl, and BBC 2 will be broadcasting
a night of shows devoted to BBC Radio 1.

The selling point being the much anticipated documentary hosted
by Chris Moyles looking back at the last 43 years of the station's breakfast
show presenters, which despite the absence of an interview with Chris Evans
looks set to be entertaining.

The bit I'm looking forward to most however is an edition of Wogan
from the 30th of September 1987 when Radio 1 celebrated it's 20th birthday
and included a live link up to the studio where Bruno Brookes
demonstrated the CD of Radio 1's brand new jingle package
with the tagline "Britain's Favourite" due to launch the next day.

Also included as part of the night will be another outing for the eerie
but well made "Blood On The Carpet" documentary from 2001, and
"The Radio 1 Story" as shown on the first Radio 1 Night on BBC 2
back in 1997.

This really would be an excuse for a night in with myself and Chris
being the radio obsessives we are, but that would be a bit tiring considering
that Chris not only has a long day at the Global building on Sunday and
will be hosting his first daily breakfast show for Hayes FM the next morning.

However there's nothing to stop us revisiting it, on returning from the
booze crawl the following Sunday if we're up for it.

Even if the night aims more towards the Radio 1 of the past
it will definitely be brain food for many a fan of music and broadcasting.