"Because Your A Woman!"

I almost didn't arrive at the Prince Charles Cinema on time due to me being unable to find Pippa and Holly's flat to drop my stuff off an hour before hand.

Luckily when I did arrive they were just showing the adverts and myself and
Chris managed to settle in well to what was brilliant screening of
a shockingly poorly made film.

Constant choruses of "Because you're a woman!" and "Cancer!"
played a big part throughout but it was the really bad continuity errors
that had me laughing, such as a psychiatrist character changing towards
the end of the film through both the actor and character name.

The final scene at the end has to be the funniest which I won't
give away, although it's more to do with the really shit scripting.

Straight afterwards I made my way over to Archway although I had to walk
part of the way up due to Archway station being closed.

On arriving I just missed Joey and Jacko, Jacko in particular had popped
over this weekend from Belgium to celebrate his 24th birthday
but those present were Chris Jones and Stedders and a few other people
who I know by face but have forgotten their names.

We were pretty much up until 4am and I didn't get up until 11:30am feeling
pretty rotten.

However that hasn't got in the way of making it over to CSR to get
this week's radio show and attempt of a spoof news boo done although
with quite a lot of lengthy tracks this week, there's not going to be
much talking from me thank goodness.

Last show of February as well and to sum it up it's not been a great month
with me losing my rag for the most stupid of reasons and overeacting
to petty arguments on Facebook and Twitter that in all honesty
I'd much rather forget.

It's all behind me, and with new viewing, listening, possibly eating habits
if I'm brave enough, March is going to be a good one.

Mellowed Out March

Hardly anything worth blogging about so far, but in about three hours
that should be about to change when I get the High Speed
over to St Pancras and then over to Archway to drop my stuff off
at Pippa and Holly's.

I hope they've still got the inflatable mattress that I "shotgunned".

I've printed off quite a few things including a map of where their house is,
the participation guide for "The Room" which I hope will kill a bit of time
on the train journey itself, and the script for this week's "Humidity News"
as I'm heading straight to the studios when I get back from London
tomorrow as hell knows when I will wake up.

I've become really bad at oversleeping as regular readers of the blog
are all to familiar with along with many other moans.

I've sorted out some sort of plan for March mind as from Monday
I plan to forgo a few viewing habits and the good news is that one of
them happens to be Glee.

This is partly due to the repetitive plots, the fact that I already own
both the soundtracks released so far,
and also because both Mock The Week and Newswipe
have now finished their respective series so I'd much prefer to have
my television switched on when there's a better set of shows on offer
all within a week.

As opposed to a show which is basically a warm up to the funnier
stuff later on.

I'll probably watch the Madonna themed episode later on in the series
if the rumours of Sue Sylvester performing "Vogue" turn out to be true.

Any Glee haters just stay calm within the fact that it will be probably
all over in two years, and any "Gleeks" if that's what they call themselves
do us all a favour and burst your bubbles.

Although, when the new Incognito album or the new Leroy Burgess
compilation are out later this year will I be acting manically
to the same extents?

We can only fear for the worst.

AudioBoo: Almost Losing It

Funny Fridays

Tonight's been pretty moderate in terms of entertainment
although I'm only halfway through yet.

This week's edition of "The Bubble" was OK and despite not being
as funny as last week, it was definitely entertaining with the
funniest bit being a clip of the contestants getting into an argument
over a game of Scrabble.

Technically it's not really part of the main game itself
but still worth the watch when it gets up onto iPlayer for those
who haven't seen it yet.

Next week's guests look pretty good including Clive Anderson
and Caroline Opacic. I mean Sarah Millican.

Any Westminster alumni reading this will probably be used to
that sort of joke by now.

It will probably be a semi-late night as at 1am on Jazz FM
Paul Ruiz on The Jazz House will be playing an hour of tunes
by Joey Negro ahead of his DJ set at Ronnie's Bar tomorrow evening.

I'm hoping we get a bit of the early stuff, maybe a spin of "Do It Believe It"?

The "Universe Of Love" album could quite possibly be
a future "Blam Jam Gem".

Having Paul Ruiz on in the background could also make my
Facebook chats with Chris less depressing.

Again, I'm joking.

Good Night.

My Blam Jam Gems - 1: The Rippingtons - "Welcome To The St. James Club"

It's been constantly bugging me to finally start a series of blog posts
that let's say, is partly inspired by Zane Lowe's "Masterpieces".

Obviously these wouldn't be called "Masterpieces" as such but
more a case of LPs that hold a special place in my heart.

They don't have to be 100 percent-ers in terms of every track being superb
but I would base them more on what they have to offer
and why I would get enthusiastic over such "rubbish".

Also, they shouldn't really be compared to examples such
as "Nervermind" or "Dark Side Of The Moon" as both those examples
are pretty much polished LPs for different reasons.

And I very much doubt that anyone would suggest that the first of my offerings
below would be better than Guns 'n' Roses "Appetite For Destruction" which
dates from around the time this was released.

It's LA smooth jazz/fusion act The Rippingtons and their 1990 release
"Welcome To The St James' Club".

Quite an unusual choice to start off with an entirely instrumental
album but I'll give it a good go.

For the benefit of those who don't want to read the nonsense below,
I've put together a short audio montage of the album highlights.



For those of you who want to know why I have such syrupy tastes in music
read on.

But answer yourself this, if you were forced to listen to either the
above album, or the Glee soundtrack what would you end up going for?

The Album Itself...

The first thing that's noticeable is the use of bright colours and the familiar cat mascot of the band, which is pretty much an indicator that
this is going to be a synth induced album.

Also worth mentioning is the GRP logo at the bottom right hand corner
spaced near the "Digital Master" label which could be found on all
of the record companies releases between around 1988-1992.

On a personal level and certainly in the last five years of getting finding
my musical comfort zone, any album with those labels on the front
cover is an instant indicator that it must be worth a listen.

The album opener which is the title track could instantly confuse
a non jazz fan into thinking it was the theme to Quantum Leap.

But putting that aside it contains some superb fifths
and key changes along with scat vocals from the late Carl Anderson who
by now was on of the artists on the GRP roster.

Other musicians include bandleader Russ Freeman on guitar and keyboards,
and Jeff Kashiwa on sax.

The synth bass and brass continue within tracks such as "Wednesday's Child"
and "Kenya" which manage to work because of the fantastic fifths
matched with the bouncing basslines.

A personal favourite has to be "Tropic Of Capricorn" which is
an upbeat dancer with superb piano, percussion and a guitar solo
which went onto become a popular one on the bands live performances
in the US.

And the album reaches a calming end but continues in providing
superb synth punctuations in offerings such as
"Soul Mates" and "Passion Fruit".

Why On Earth Do I Love It So Much?...

The album was released in August 1990 and was played quite a bit
on the old Jazz FM which was commonplace in our house due to Dad
having it tuned permanently.

I doubt it was his bag mind, with him being more into over-indulgent
John Coltrane sax solos that go on for hell knows how long.

I rediscovered the album in May 2005 months before starting University
as I wanted to get an idea of why I wanted to return to London
and this was one of many that reminded me more than anything of
the city, especially if the weather was really bright and warm.

Having said that, when I actually moved to University I drifted
away from the GRP material from this era and now I tend to associate
it more with being in Canterbury.

Overall it's the superb combination of chord structures and arrangements
that help to make the album work really well even if others will dismiss
it as departure lounge music.

And in terms of at least 90% of the tracks being accessible and dare I say it,
ticking the right boxes, "St James Club" manages to achieve doing so
where Russ and the band's previous and certainly subsequent albums
have failed.

Further And Further Away From The Music That Matters?

Having just returned from my monthly visit to Ashford, it appears
that things have got even bigger with regards to the 6Music closure.

I have definitely realised that it arrived and found time to grow
at the right time and with many referring to John Peel it appears
that 6Music have been doing what he did better than Radio 1 are now.

Well that's one way of putting it.

And again, it's been said before but on the odd occasion I listen to 6Music
I feel as if I'm being talked to rather than at and I can
barely sense any whiff of arrogance or elitism at all,
as opposed to that of Radio 1.

On 6Music they sound as if they really want to encourage the listener
to get into what they're playing but at the same time they wouldn't
force feed it into them.

Whereas Radio 2 for me come across as if they're trying
too hard to appeal to younger listeners when they don't necessarily need to.

So having thought about it removing the station
would be the wrong way to go.

Tabloid Lead Speculation = Pointless Frenzy

It was the usual regime of being woken up at 6:25am and then
going back to sleep 5 minutes later.

The good news is that I am starting to drift apart from the idea
of wanting to move to a different city.

I want to move to another country instead, as further flung as possible.

I haven't been on holiday abroad for almost five years
and that's possibly what I am really searching for.

So the solution would be to find the right job in order to meet those
costs and jet off. It's that simple.

Elsewhere there's a big fuss about the rumours of BBC 6 Music
being shut down as part of a series of cutbacks in an article
from the Times which has caused quite a furore.

Now here comes the hard task of trying to come up with my own
opinion which hasn't been half inched from someone else's and in
all honesty, whilst it would be disappointing to see it disappear,
it wouldn't really make any changes to my listening habits.

In fact I wouldn't exactly be rushing out to buy
any of the records that are played on the station.

That and the how the only programmes I would really
listen to on the station would be those that aren't based around
music at all but more towards the presenter, I.E. Adam & Joe,
Andrew Collins, Richard Bacon, and so on.

Which pretty much defeats what the original purpose of 6Music was.

But in no way at all would I campaign to get those stations shut down,
because they've not done anything to offend my ears to the extent
that BBC Radio 1, and many commercial radio stations have
on a long term basis.

A "Ruddy Rude Awakening"

Any radio or television enthusiasts will probably enjoy hearing this
extract from The Chris Evans Breakfast Show yesterday morning
at 1:34 minutes in with the man who's recently
made quite a big contribution to the world of iPhone apps.

That being Peter Dixon who it seems that even without the X Factor
is inescapable, although it's good to hear him talk in his proper voice
for a change.

I assume anyone who follows him on Twitter will always have imagine
tweets to be READ IN THAT BOOMING VOICE, all the time but
it's quite an amusing perception.

It's easy to forget that before his worldwide notoriety, Peter used
to be a Radio 2 presenter himself and 2 seconds of proof can be heard
below;



One show that isn't using Peter's voice as the annnouncer is the
latest series of Let's Dance For Sport Relief as they've gone for
someone possibly more irritating, but in my case more legendary,
Brian Blessed.

What would the country come two if any of voice voices were struck
down with sore throats?

The Comedic Generation Gap

The final Act Your Age of the current series really was quite
a madhouse by the sounds of things, but that's what happens
when you have a strong guest line up, and a team including
a double act.

In this case Tommy Cannon and Bobby Ball, who
according to host Simon Mayo, Bobby was lucky Tommy
was around as it would have resulted in him having to form an act
with Howard Cock.

However it was the contributions of recent dance champion Rufus Hound
that were really enjoyable where in the first round he suggested that
if anything from the past had to be brought back it was Saturday morning
children's television.

And the fact that Rufus was off of the generation who grew up with Phillip
and Sarah, and Thundercats which got quite a cheer from the audience.

On that subject one member of said audience happened to be Holly
who I'm seeing on Saturday and her and Pippa ST's housewarming
who really enjoyed seeing the chaos take place.

I'm a tiny bit jealous of Holly, not to the point of being unable to sleep
over such a thing, but because in the final buzzer round, the noise that
they make sounds more like the ones made with battery circuits
in a science class in secondary school.

If I had been in the audience I probably would have burst into cackles
on my own which may have confused everyone and been would
have lead to a record number of re-takes.

However I'm still in that mood, and for the next hour or so I plan to
turn myself into one of the Cadbury's Smash martians by watching
part 4 of BBC 2's "The Virtual Revolution" on iPlayer.

Basically it's a documentary looking into social networking
for those who've never used it before.

Although just about everyone else would find it extremely patronising.

Well everyone else I know at least.

Unfair First Legs

Tonight's viewing consisted of the first leg of the Champions League final 16
match between Chelsea and Inter Milan where an early goal and another scored just minutes after Chelsea's initial equaliser saw Inter Milan
take the lead in their home game.

Which means that when the second leg approaches, we're potentially screwed.

I'm hoping to lighten up the rest of the night by listening to
the final edition of Act Your Age on iPlayer before hopefully getting some
much deserved shut eye after last night's frustrations.

Prior to that as I type, I'm having a listen to another superb
offering from Leroy Burgess, that being his late 70s disco outfit
"Dazzle" who's self titled album I'd go as far as saying has to be
the one of the best albums for that genre.

Even if the tracks aren't too well known, they match the mood of the
time period and classiness perfectly.

If I was still spinning the discs at the Undercroft it would
definitely be on my regular rotation of "warm up tracks".

I'd best invest in some sort of software package and equipment
and see if any places in Canterbury need that sort of lightening up.

Because let's face it, the whole bloody town needs a kick up the backside.

Good night.

Further Reluctance

I'm going to have to be a hell of a lot more productive
if I'm to avoid a night like yesterday.

So far I've attempted to work on some of my Dad's very poorly recorded
audio interviews and conferences which if I'm being truly honest is
in very unbroadcastable quality.

I've tried to make it audible at least but a bigger problem is editing a video
that has equally poor audio and cutting out the distortion.

Bearing in mind such a task is impossible in terms of keeping it synchronised.

Not to mention that the Adobe Premier I am working from won't
recognise the .MOD file I am attempting to work from.

I'd rather stick to editing audio on it's own because and anyone reading
this should avoid coming to me if they want a Photoshop project
done as I'm just as apalling on that software.

Although if there are any training courses nearby I'd more than happily
go on one because at least it would have me doing something for once.

I'm sure all the negativity will disapear soon.

Although that can be done quicker, i.e exiting the Facebook tab on my
internet browser.

Parody Travels Across The Globe

This isn't very good for my body clock at all, but with too many concerns
preventing me from getting to sleep, I've resorted to staying up as long
as possible until I do start to get heavy eyelids.

As I type I'm listening to Rotary Connection's 1968 covers album
simply titled "Songs" and featuring the voice of Minnie Ripperton
as one of the vocalists.

If you're into the 5th Dimension or any similar full on
orchestral soul acts from the same time period it's definitely
worth listening to.

Also I've managed to find a video from Brazil on Youtube which looks
incredibly familiar.

Yes, Charlie Brooker's "How To Report The News" has gone global
and the sketch has been adapted as part of a series of online videos
in Brazil.

Would it be an overstatement to suggest the original sketch could
be one of the funniest pieces of television in the current decade?

Definitely this year by quite a long way.

"Punctuating Every Other Sentence With A Hand Gesture"

Without giving too much away, the Elimination Chamber PPV was superb,
with plenty of unexpected moments resulting in occasional hilarity.

It probably goes to show that my enjoyment of wrestling is more
or less the same as football, i.e. not heavily interested in the
contest itself but more of the aggro that takes place.

The only thing I will say is that from a personal opinion
the second Elimination Chamber match was better than the first.

Straight after that I had a gander at the compilation of the best bits
of Newswipe series 2 which started off with that insert.

Other areas revisited included the insensitive coverage of Haiti
and the shambles that is Live From Studio Five.

It would be a challenge for me to watch that programme for
more than a minute without swearing at the TV screen very loudly.

Although it's not sport related, it would be a good subject for
the "Defend The Indefensible" round on Radio 5 Live's Fighting Talk;
I.E. 20 seconds to defend that "Live From Studio 5 is one of the more coherent and stimulating news programmes on television"

The less said about that the better, otherwise I'll have to buy
a replacement laptop tomorrow morning.

Money's not too good so let's move on.

It won't be the last we see of Brooker on our screens as
"You Have Been Watching" returns for a second series although
many have criticised the show for not knowing whether it's a quiz
show or TV review show.

That aside the last series was bloody funny, so I hope it's not
changed too much and the guest rota is on form.

Not sure about tomorrow, probably an early start to find out
where Radio 1's Big Weekend is this year as revealed by Chris Moyles
and the team.

After that, another day of more rummaging I guess.

Good Night.

Promo Fail

In an unplanned warm up to "The Room" this Saturday, I've managed to find
what many have branded "The Worst Video Of All Time" for pretty much
the same reasons.

Issued onto Youtube by EMI, this is Joss Stone's self produced video
for her 2008 single "Baby Baby Baby" which was brought to my attention
via this amusing mickeytake from Adam Buxton in the guise of
Ken Korda.

The fact that it doesn't have a filter on their makes it even more
easy to send up.

The song itself isn't too bad, one of many impressive tunes from her
"Introducing" album which was when musically she started to earn
my respect.

As a performer and overall "diva", well I doubt I'd be fully converted.

I've had my own ongoing vision inside my head of producing my own video
for unsurpsingly, "Survivin" by The Sunburst Band where the various
lines would be mimed by different Uni friends in particular locations around London and I would do the same in Canterbury.

It's a similar concept to Stone's really, only worse.

For instance the opening line "Tryin' to survive, the daily struggles of trying to make sense out of life" would be mimed by Steven McIntosh in a Costa,
with the camera panning round him reading a newspaper with a headline sensationalising about Leona Lewis.

Whilst the opening shot with the piano chords would start off blurred to match the reverse piano at the beginning, and the person playing it would either be Danielle Farthing or Caroline regardless of their inabilities.

Everyone would have a part although it's probably a creative idea that would
never be realised due to time and availability.

And my lack of recording and editing equipment.

Elsewhere in radio there's anticipation over the location for
Radio 1's Big Weekend with a tweet from the fake Andy Parfitt on Twitter
suggesting it may come from Bangor.

That reminds me of 1993 and when The Roadshow came from
Bangor in Wales and one of the performers was up and coming soul vocalist
Lena Fiagbe was lined up to perform live.

Only she ended up in Bangor in Northern Ireland, which was ironic
as the song she was meant to be performing was called "Gotta Get It Right".

Overall, it shows that we're only human.

Overindulgence?

After last night's rather enjoyable outing, I plan to spend the majority of
today listening to more LPs on my hard drive that I haven't yet listened to.

As I type I've currently got Sade's latest one playing which is sounding
pretty good so far, and it will be good to see her performing live
on Jonathan Ross's show on Friday.

Others I plan to listen and in some cases revisit include "More Specials"
by The Specials, and Tracy Chapman's 1988 album which really
takes me back and has aged so well.

The plan for tonight is slightly different as I'll be viewing Sunday's
Elimination Chamber Pay Per View.

I haven't looked at the line up and obviously wouldn't now because
it would give the game away, but I'm pretty certain that if last year
was anything to go by, I'll be in fits of laughter all because of
the buzzer going off when a fighter is chosen at random.

And there's also the final Newswipe which is a compilation, although
I'm hoping it will include the bit on "How To Do A News Report".

It's been circulating on Youtube like made, but it would be fully
justified to include as one of the highlights of the second series.

Best to carry on and let things go.

"Twee Club"

Glee and The Cleveland Show were rather average this week.

The animated offering may be just an individual weak spot, but Glee's been
going for about 7 episodes now and I've started to notice a few
recurring themes that are guaranteed to happen in every single episode.

1: A leader of another club or society will attempt to dismantle the glee club.

2: One of the members will quit only to rejoin at the end of the episode.

3: Sue Sylvester will have a lapse of being nice before turning nasty again.

Definitely a risk of the series becoming very repetetive and I'm pretty
certain that it will fall into the category of many drama series I've
watched on television, I.E. failing to even take notice of the second season.

The only exception of course being the most recent series of Doctor Who,
yet I still haven't seen series two or three of The Sarah-Jane Adventures.

Hopefully persoanl circumstances will have changed by the time
season two of Glee airs on UK shores.

Thankfully I can escape from that for the rest of tonight
by listening to another GRP Compilation with offerings from unfamiliar names
such as Spyro Gyra, Patti Austin, Dave Valentin and The Yellowjackets.

Early 90s jazzy synth rhythms at their finest.

With real instruments thrown in as well mind.

Good Night.

AudioBoo: Obsessed With Saturday

Pant Swinging Entertainment

So, blog post 3001 and what better way to start off with another
visit back to the era of television at it's finest.

From the 30th of December 1989 a selection of links from
"Gone Live!" the pre-recorded Christmas edition of the
Saturday morning show with Phillip and Sarah at the helm
along with the duo who Radio 1's Greg James claims to be the
original John and Edward.

Only a lot funnier.

For added "anticipation" the end credits of Thundercats are included
in the first minute.

It would be customary for one of the shows broadcast in the
Christmas holidays to be pre-recorded hence the show being called
"Gone Live!".
With Live and Kicking it would be known as
"Almost Live, Definitely Kicking" which would often involve
the show going on location.

As always it's the really tiny unnoticeable things that I bizarrely take
notice of and really date the clip perfectly, such as the bit with
Trevor and Simon at 3:39 being accompanied by a variation of
Starlight's "Numero Uno", one of the more popular dance records of
the year that became forgotten about shortly after.

Best of all however are the titles to Peter Simon's Double Dare
at 4:42, and uploader Chriddof mentions that he plans to
upload the full show which I'm hoping will be the case.

To think all of that happened 21 years ago really is shocking.

It feels a hell of a lot longer.

Also, it's rather embarrassing, but comparing everything in that above
video with any episode of the most recent series of TMi will have
me in tears when comparing them together.

Even Reggie Yates's "Mighty Truck Of Stuff" was a lot better
than their effort.

And yet that concept was "stolen" from Chris Moyles's
Red Nose Rally, although in all fairness if such an idea works
better on television, then half inching it is perfectly justified.

Best not to get too bogged down, it will only get me more downhearted,
ahead of an otherwise rather busy week leading up to the London
visit on Saturday.

The Third "Millestone"

It took four years of writing utter nonsense to achieve this although
whether "achieve" is the right word is very questionable.

I've reached blog post number 3000 and thought that to celebrate
I'd upload exclusively the first of my "Humidity News" bulletins
which is essentially my attempt at a news send up in a style
not too dissimilar to Chris Morris etc

I'm not perfect.



I was originally going to take off Mike Reid in the sketch near the end
until realising this week that he died in 2007.

Overall it's something more productive to be doing and
I'll see if I can keep going every week until the end of March.

And any suggestions or contributions written or recorded,
are very much welcome.

As for tomorrow, it will be an early start as it's Moyles's birthday show
tomorrow with him turning 36 years old.

I won't step on the bandwagon of debating whether age counts
for relevance, but in by the end of the year I'm pretty sure
he'll start to show his age.

To quote the Specials yet again "You can only, be young, but for once".

Good Night.

Further Foul Mouthed Funnies

Slightly downtempo start to today as stand up comedian Jason Wood
who was the first ever contestant to be voted off Strictly Come Dancing,
died yesterday at just 38 years old.

He didn't really get a heavy deal of television exposure but
the camp comic did have a regular spot at many comedy spots
in London including the Leicester Square theatre as part of the
"Just The Tonic" team.

On a different note and after much deliberating, I have given in
and booked tickets for Jerry Sadowitz at the same venue on
Wednesday the 25th of March.

The gig itself starts at 9:30pm so I may see if I can sort out some drinks
or what have you before hand with anyone from University or
wherever beforehand.

Whichever way, it will be quite an enjoyable gig.

"Rufus Is Worth Voting For"

Not a great deal to mention about in terms of goings on.

Telly wise was good however, even if it was just one programme
that provided overall entertainment, that being the amazing opening
episode of Let's Dance For Sports Relief.

The bar has definitely been lifted since the last series with
incredible and entertaining performances from Rufus Hound
as Cheryl Cole, and Katy Brand taking off Beyonce
and her "Single Ladies" video.

Both deservedly went through to the final which takes
place in three weeks.

To be honest on initially seeing Katy make her stage entrance
I thought it was Miquita from T4 and that she'd put on a bit of weight.

It's OK to point out that I have an obsession with other
people's weight because I'm more than concious about my own.

I always thought I was safe until the medication kicked in
three years ago.

As a show itself, it's definitely one of the better voting programmes
on television as it actually knows how to put it's tongue in it's cheek
and the witty pre-performance VTs help send up their purpose.

I won't see next week's show however as I'll be in London
for the screening of "The Room" although it happens to be
the TV show itself that's partly responsible for those circumstances.

Chris was originally going to go with Aoife who had booked the tickets
herself but she ended up getting a job on the production team for
"Let's Dance" so I got asked instead.

I've also had a gander at last night's episode of "The Bubble"
which got off to a really good start and a strong panel
made up of Frank Skinner, Victoria Coren for eye candy, and Reginald D Hunter.

I am more than happy to post an earlier tweet saying that
if I was female I would want to marry Reginald D Hunter as to live
through his constant misunderstandings of British culture would make
day to day life a lot more bearable.

Tomorrow will probably be just an ordinary Sunday sorting out and doing
the radio show, although it should be pointed out that this is my 2998th
blog post which means it's more than likely I'll reach number 3000 tomorrow.

And will we really be living underwater by then?

Dreadful gag.

Good Night.

AudioBoo: Running Flat

Overnight Distractions

I'm still up but that's mainly because I'm being kept
awake over Facebook Chat and desperately trying
not to get too bogged down.

I'll try and keep it short but it's not doing me any good,
especially at this time of the night.

I would like to please take the opportunity to apologise
to anyone whose had their head done in with my constant
babble about radio because when you get too deep into
the development side of things, it really is a load of bollocks.

I'll repeat what I said yesterday that the whole idea about
enjoying radio is that it should be fun and creative.

Not that I'm a perfect example of either but there's
a lot of those out there on student or community stations
who know how to get those elements spot on.

On the other hand, taking my television and random music facts
away from me (especially on Twitter) unless un-followed, that's something
that you can't put a stop to.

Both mediums have been a bigger part of everyday life a hell
of a lot more than radio has been, and probably ever will be.

Radio's just an opportunity to blend in my love of both through both
listening, and by failing to put into my own practise.

It's more than evident on my blog as I keep repeating myself often.

"Tune In, And Rip The Knob Off"

I should be lying down now but after a conversation on Facebook with
Chris, I've dug out an old recording from Invicta FM's Breakfast Show
in 1992 with Daryl Denham.



This is more or less a snapshot of the classic era of commercial radio
and how it could sound enthusiastic with punchy production and a really
good blend of current and classic hits with a far loose rotation.

In fact I doubt there was even such a thing as rotation back then but
at the same time it wasn't higgledy piggledy as such.

In terms of jingles and sweepers, you have to love the junction from
the half hour headlines back into the music at 2 minutes in.

Save for the J.J. McKay V/O being "remixed" with the station and Daryl's name.

So many people seemed weary about that idea at Smoke, not least
our original head of news who preferred to use his own more complex
production techniques that even he couldn't get right on air.

Then again it's easy to recreate that sound as shown in the clip
above as a result of me owning the jingles and library tracks
as used.

Overall it helped me realise that I could probably have a go at radio myself,
and a format like this, thrown in with more creativity and new talent
could give commercial radio the kick up the arse it's been needing.

But you know what, if I was in a position of power, I would shut the whole
fucking lot down, and use the money to fund the many community radio stations
in the UK because there's a lot of potential.

That's how we would get independent local radio back on track without
having to please the advertisers.

Solid Staring

Tonight's been a really good one telly wise, in terms of being able to stay
glued to it all night.

There was the live Eastenders of course starting it off where Ross Powell,
I mean Bradley Branning made a leap of fate, and it was revealed
that Stacey Slater killed Archie.

Second year Westminster Journalism student and Eastenders obsessive
Lee Collins even went as far in anticipation as this.

Which doesn't surprise me, considering his almost resemblance
to Darren Miller.

Straight after that was the BBC Three "Revealed" show with
George Lamb and Kirsten O'Brien and until tonight I had no idea
that George is actually Larry's son.

That's made me look more of a numpty than before.

Comedy was provided by the last in the current series of
8 Out Of 10 Cats which has to be the funniest episode
of the show that I've seen.

Not least because this week was a special devoted to
things that irritate and offend people and swearing came
into discussion quite a bit.

However in the final round one of the questions was to
identify the "Most Hated Profession" which I initially
thought was the most hated job done in the first person,
but actually related to people's dislikes for estate agents or politicians.

Team captain Jason Manford also appeared as one of
Jonathan Ross's guests where tomorrow he's appearing as a judge on
the first "Let's Dance For Sport Relief" alongside Paddy McGuinness of all people.

There's no fucking escape is there?

Nah I'll manage, there's David Mitchell's new series which started tonight
which I'll have a gander at on iPlayer and speaking of which, that's
where I'm now headed to view last night's Mock The Week.

Good Night.

"#Why Do We Always Come Here, I Guess We'll Never Know"

Morning.

Last night was a bit chaotic and despite only having one drink,
prior to actually doing anything I feel as if I got
a bit too involved in things.

Or probably stayed over a bit late until 11pm when everyone
else lost the plot over the whole event which had been a bit
of a rush job to an extent but it's been done with now.

I was meant to meet up with someone at the Costa in Waterstones
this lunchtime but that's had to be pulled due to an illness
so I'm guessing today won't be that productive.

Not least because a lot of it will be spent catching up with iPlayer
stuff including the hour long Eastenders from yesterday ahead of the live
episode tonight.

And of course last night's Mock The Week which I'll probably have
a gander at later on when I'm in a slightly better laughing mood.

Comedy just seems to work better in the later hours of the day.

On a less funny note, I've come up with an idea for a Facebook
photo album which isn't entirely original but I'm sure it will ring
true in the case of those who will be, what shall I say, imortalised.

Not victimised.

But it's all in good humour, something along the same lines
as the Mister Men picture that was circulating around this time last year.

The clue's in the title of the blog post.

Aside that, there's a lot of record rummaging to be done.

Possibly through Andrew from CSR's "Ukulele Beatles" compilation.

Ear Education

My original plan for tonight was to edit some of the performances from
a special event being broadcast live on CSR as part of "Educate Your Ears"
a Haiti fundaraiser with live acts of different music styles.

It ended up being slightly longer as after spending an hour editing
some earlier sessions on Audacity (absolute nightmare) I spent
the rest of the evening in the studio with presenters Rupert Bhatia
and Andrew Venning giving a rather irreverent take on the live goings on.

It turned out to be questionable with a few other station members
who weren't keen on their Terry Wogan Eurovision esque comments
on the many instrumental and experimental acts that didn't really
fit into CSR's demographic and it got rather heated towards the end of
the night.

It's best not for me to get too involved, but it certainly proved that
in major live events such as this, it's possible to use radio for it's
proper and true purpose which I think a lot of us have forgotten:

Fun.

Not fun to the point of wacky, but the sense of everyone enjoying themselves
to the point that no one knows what's going to happen next.

If it gets too political then it can be ruined, and looking back at my time at
University it's fair to say that in terms of station events, the most fun
I had at Smoke Radio was definitely in my first and final years.

That said, all four of those years will be an experience that won't
be matched but I'm sure there will be good things happening
on a greater scale by the time I'm better off.

Good Night

The Gold Continents Remembered

With the Eastenders anniversary taking place tomorrow, today is
a more significant day for television fans of a crazed manner.

Yes, at 7pm on the 18th of February 1985, BBC 1 introduced
a computer generated globe to replace it's mechanical mirror
model, known in TVC as COW - Computer Originated World
and for me will always be the defining BBC 1 ident.
















So simple yet memorable.

The reason it was introduced at 7pm after the regional news,
was to herald the entrance of Wogan, which would be going out
on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays whilst Eastenders would
look after the timeslots on the two remaining weekdays in
BBC 1's new evening schedule.

The COW globe was later adapted by BBC Video for their idents
between 1988 and 1991 and what I'd say were the
BBC's best for their video releases.

Of course fellow obsessives may argue otherwise.

That aside it will always be one of my iconic television images.

AudioBoo: "Give It To Me, One Time"

Fairness and Free Speech?

So Jan Moir has been let off for her vile article on the death of Stephen Gately.

Which probably means that she will be allowed to write similar articles
in future, knowing the way that the Daily Mail wants to fuck
up our country in terms of popular culture and tolerance.

But on the other hand, we're a country of free speech or so we're told.

An issue which the Daily Mail were also partly responsible for was covered
on Radio 4's Front Row last night when David Mitchell was interviewed.

The Peep Show star was asked if the BBC were scared of taking
such risks with bad language and risky content, and substituting it
with tamer gags and formats in their place.

Thankfully it seems that no muzzles will be nearing Mitchell's mouth
in the near future, even if the BBC Trust has issued clampdowns
in other areas.

And I bet I'm not the only one who agreed with David over
the fuss over the Ross/Brand saga.

As for whether I'm editing later tonight, I'll see if I can get
over to the Powell building at Christ Church or even get inside it.

I'm really hoping I can make myself as useful as possible.

AudioBoo: "Alright Treacle?"

"The Devil's Gotten To Me"

More audio editing has taken place for most of the day for Dad
who wants to set up an AudioBoo account for his teacher training website.

Only he's now abandoned the idea after I told him that you can't
put up audio that lasts longer than five minutes so we may resort
to the DivShare method that I use on my radio website.

I've had a browse through the Radio Times for this coming week
and Friday there's a documentary on Channel 4 I've been looking forward
to for quite a while, looking into the two Michael Jackson's behind
the tune "Blame It On The Boogie".

Yes, in 1978 there was quite a rivalry between various radio stations
playing the different versions of said song in the UK with the Jacksons
receiving wider notoriety thanks to Radio 1, in comparison to British namesake Mick Jackson, who's version of the song was supported by Capital Radio.

It's got a bit of "Sir Duke" to it hasn't it?

Further proof that the British wrote and produced the all-time gems.

Obviously I'd imagine either version is received more favourably
than Big Fun's 1989 cover, one of the producers of that,
is set to produce this years UK Eurovision entry.

Bearing in mind Pete Waterman's last venture into pop music
on that wide a scale was One True Voice so I've got my hopes up.

Pete is also interviewed in the documentary as is Tony Blackburn
according to his Twitter status from a few months ago.

On a similar note, Trevor Nelson plans to feature Brenda Russell's 1979
debut album on his Radio 2 show a week on Wednesday which
is very close to being a 100 percenter.

And on a lower note I plan to include one of Brenda's on my own show when I reach 1983 on the "Silver Soul" feature with the superb "Hello People"
a song which reminds me of Sirin, who's now settled in Cyprus.

It's as if Sirin wrote those lyrics.

Fellow radio student Danielle on the other hand suggested
Sirin's song should be "Wearing My Rolex" although that reminds
me more of Fiz, which I'm not sure how he'd take to that.

There's a success story of the final year of the radio course, currently
helping out Mistajam on 1Xtra.

Proper and honest 'guv, and a nice fella too.

The Brits Recovery

Good morning.

As expected, Chris Moyles has been laying into last night's Brit Awards
and have pretty much nailed all the flaws that everyone else has
been thinking.

I.E. getting the recipients of one award to present the next award,
and how rubbish the Mastercard sponsor idents with Pet Shop Boys
were.

Chris also got it right on target when mentioning that there were
no proper stings for the show itself which has been the case
for a few years but a more than evident case that ITV really
want to rush the whole fucking thing, that they take
away any minimal use of identity.

They were also trying to defend Peter Kay's gags dying
on their rear by saying that the venue itself of Earls Court
was too big to hear people laughing.

Michael McIntyre and Lee Evans have had sell out gigs at the 02
and Wembley Arena, so that pretty much defeats that excuse.

Thankfully I didn't see what was apparently the shambles of the
ITV2 sister show that took place last night with one of the Appleton
sisters and Melanie Blatt from All Saints as roving reporters.

Thankfully it's out of the way now although it will still be a loss
of sleep to a few others unimpressed with certain results.

My urge to get an iPod Touch (at least) is getting closer with the
addition of the Voiceover Man Pocket Announcer application.

With the voice of Peter Dixon, I cannot see any obsessive radio
fan wanting to be without this toy.

It now appears that the novelty iPhone apps have managed to
make the "Mr T In Your Pocket" and it's many variations look
like the Nintendo "Game and Watch" toys.

In fact I wouldn't be surprised if a more advanced product
has developed after buying my iPod touch.

Just Another Brit Awards Night Then...

The Brit Awards were a bit of a non story.

Nothing majorly outstanding performance wise, with the possible exception
of Lady GaGa, and Alicia and Jay Z and a few colourful moments during
the presentation itself.

The recipients weren't anything to cheer about really, with the
exception of Florence and The Machine for the
superb "Lungs" album.

I'll definitely be playing another offering from on the radio
show this week, one of the remixes actually that being
the "XX" remix of "You Got The Love".

Peter Kay was on his arse gag wise, proving the reason why he hasn't
done a stand up act for 8 years, although if Smoke Radio had got
Peter to host our 2009 awards, I would have made sure
my acceptance speech was a lot shorter with reduced swearing.

If you saw the show you'll be able to work that one out in
an instant.

Fair play to Peter for saying what we were all thinking
of Liam Gallagher.

Proper comedy on the other hand was provided by the last "proper"
edition of Newswipe as next week's series finale is a compilation.

This week it ripped the piss out of live O/Bs where buggerall
actually happens, and the whole fuss over of the John Terry affair.

It turns out that Brooker is also a fan of the phenomemon surrounding
"The Room as seen in this video of the UK premiere last July.

I am really looking forward to attending the screening a week on Saturday
where I don't have to worry about booking tickets.

Chris originally wanted to take Aoife with him but she's double booked,
but I reckon this will be a proper lads night when it comes to the sort
of things that take place.

And Chris, should you be reading this, you'd best start refreshing your
mind on the theme to "Full House".

Well, the bit of the song that sounds like Janet Jackson's "Together Again"

Good Night.

AudioBoo: A Room With A View - And An Entertaining One Too...

The Room Audience Participation (PDF Download)

Musical Statues

With the Brit Awards approaching, tonight will be the first time I've tweeted
during the event itself while watching it on television, and commenting
on those who end up receiving the prizes.

I'm pretty certain that Seasick Steve won't be one of them.

Whatever happens, anything can guarantee that Peter Kay will be
better than Horne and Corden were, where they barely developed
any chemistry with co-host Kylie Minogue.

Referring back to an earlier blog post, I've managed to track down
the tune used in this vintage CBBC footage with Toby and Otis
with the song itself being Alison Limerick and "Time Of Our Lives"

You could suggest that it's Skin, before she decided to take
a more aggressive route as part of Skunk Anansie.

I initally thought the Alison Limerick track was Ce Ce Peniston's
"Keep Giving Me Your Love", which more or less proves the
perception that all house records of that style in the early 90s
sounded the same.

In a positive way if you're living in my mindset.

This means that from now on I can't slag off any Jason Derulo records
or anything produced by J.R. Rotem for the same reasons.

I'll break my booze embargo just for tonight.

One bottle max however, and I'll try and find the cheapest.

One Second Answers

Ugh.

I'm not good this morning at all.

It's when you wake up from a lie down dreaming about more innocent
times and being with either college or university friends.

I will get over it at some point but I've started to question
whether what I have achieved in terms of qualifications really is
worth it.

A lot of jobs I have searched for require GCSE qualifications
in Maths and English and I don't have fuck all for the former.

But surely, does trigonometry actually come into sorting out
figures within an office environment?
If anyone knows otherwise you're more than welcome to correct me.

I'll work on the website for most of today, before settling down in
front of the Brit Awards.

Although if his appearance on the Chris Moyles Show this morning
has been anything to go by, Peter Kay hosting the show could look
dreadfully disjointed.

Then again despite a lack of music knowledge post 1995,
I'm certain he'll be 10% better than Horne and Corden were.

And as I was half asleep, I'm itching to listen to Peter's interview
with Moyles on iPlayer which was essentially just guessing record intros
and obscure theme tunes.

Hearing the theme tune to either Art Attack or Animaniacs can be really
surreal first thing in the morning.

Audio Boo: Amusing Audio

The Positive Signs Of Illegal Habits

Another bugbear has prevailed although I should know a thing or two about
getting worked up about nonsense after yesterday.

A thread on Digital Spy prompted this, and although it's a recurring
topic it's one that relates to one of the most ridiculous laws regarding
the PRS and radios being forbidden in the workplace or office space.

One part of me says that if they want to lose even more money
in addition to the lower CD sales, then that's the right way to go
about it.

But the other half would condone the ban of radios in a workplace
full on because I wouldn't want to be subjected to repetitive crap
and the same records being played every single day.

Especially if it was from a commercial station that only has three
CDs, i.e the latest NOW CD, a 90s compilation, and an 80s compilation.

Or so it seems.

Thankfully it appears that a lot of offices are becoming more liberal
with regards to using earpieces in computers provided it doesn't
affect the job in hand.

That more or less confirms that I'm a music lover and not a radio
lover when it comes to present day listening habits.

Talk about contrived, but it's very true.

Those who follow me on Twitter will know about my latest obsession
which turns the above statement around as it is radio related,
that being Tina Daheley, the new sportsreader on The Chris Moyles Show.

I'll let her off for being an Arsenal supporter.

According to BBC Radio Kent's Andy Garland, she managed to beat
off one of their own, Gemma who got into the top three.

I'd best get on with the editing that Dad's left, and as mentioned earlier
I'm so grateful that he doesn't have the abilities to do so himself.

"The Last Of The Groups!"

It's a written blog post!

Yes I haven't got obsessed in booing to the point of abandoning the
visual blog posts but you wouldn't want to hear what I sound like
at this time of the day.

If anyone's been listening to Chris Moyles this morning, what about
Tina Daheley the new sports reporter?

The only team member who actually talks sense and you can understand
clearly what she is saying, which works for me considering I would normally
be listening half asleep.

It's definitely making me want to listen to the sports report more
attentively which isn't a bad thing at all, and I'm realising how much
of a show pony (pardon the pun) Carrie Davies really was,
when she got the opportunity.

On that note they're attempting to gloss over the X Factor tour and
debating on whether to go and with the exception of those two
annoying twats, I've forgotten the 2009 contestants already.

It's now come to the point where getting a name drop from
Peter Dixon means a lot more than a sung JAM/Dallas jingle acapella.

I'll need to see if Hirsty can give me a dry version of the
one PD did for me back in June.

And on that note, it's an E4 night in tonight with Glee
and The Cleveland Show.
Just one of each this week, so it's going to speed by.

AudioBoo: Birthday Plans

AudioBoo: Imaginary Enterprises

Audio Boo: "Puuuuuf!"

Again, no offence intended.

The Bright Rays Of Dallas Return To BBC Airwaves

The good news is that I can't see many people celebrating Valentine's Day
on Facebook with poncey statuses or whatever.

They've all caught on to the fact that it's just an excuse to give
Clinton's some undeserved extra cash.

So yes it's just a normal Sunday.

Well not for much longer as Terry Wogan's new show started on
BBC Radio 2 this morning and save for a few technical mistakes
it was superb, a pleasant return to a "music hall" style show
with an audience adding to proceedings.

Best of all (from my perspective anyway) the master of the airwaves
has brought JAM back to Radio 2 with a specially produced custom
jingle that fits in well with the house band theme from Elio Pace.

And here it is;



Westminster alumni Ricky happens to be one of Terry's "Best Boys"
and I'm looking forward to hearing it progress over the next few weeks.

To sum it up, it sounds like what seems to be his radio show
and his BBC 1 chat show rolled into one with live guests and the
"popular" Janet and John stories.

I'd best get over to the bowels of Eliot College.

I may record an Audio Boo up there if the studio's empty.

Audio Boo: Batteries And Analogies

"Processed Harmonics"

The Job Centre visit wasn't really an interview as such.

Just a case of getting the applications filled in and sent off and
hopefully an interview will emerge from it all in by the end of the month.

I don't really have anything major planned apart from another visit
up the high hill this afternoon so the "Feature Presentation"
for tonight will be Jimmy Carr's 2008 DVD "In Concert".

On a completely different note, I thought it would be worth uploading
this for those who are sick of the Glee cover of "Don't Stop Believing"
as on hearing it first time, it reminded me immediately of this
offering from Victor Lewis-Smith.



Whether you're a Glee fan or not so, I hope it's amusing either way.

Taken from his Radio 1 show in 1990, this example is a pastiche
of Michael Nyman and Phillip Glass who used similar vocal
techniques for their "new age music" that was dominant around
the time.

Unfortunately for me it became a lingering thought amongst many others,
that suggest that everything in 1990 was better than it is now.

It's probably an excuse for another song from Victor, this time
about a joke shop owner although this time round,
melodically it actually sounds really good.



Matt Fincham from The Chris Moyles Show could learn a bit about
playing the piano from the above example.
And I'm pretty sure that's the song Tom Williams from Harlequins rugby club
was listening to on the morning of the "Bloodgate" match.

Luckily in 2010 practical joke toys or novelty car accessories
are sparse in public presence so maybe things aren't so bad.

Although there are readers of this blog who really are desperate
to trap my own fingers in a car boot.

Audioboo: My First "Self Made" Boo

Nervously Awaiting The Antagonism

The last few seconds of that video from the last blog post
had me feeling more determined than ever, after watching it
prior to heading over to the job centre.

Everyone there's doing their best to help out in finding potential
vacancies and fully understand that retail or serving out of hot
oil is a no go area, and as it happens I have an interview
regarding a postion with Kent County Council tomorrow
morning.

My biggest worry I'm the most concious about is the habit I
have of repeating myself.

It crops up many a time in my blog posts, in different forms
although I'm particularly concerned about doing such a thing
in the same sentence.

However it's the first interview I've done for a while and if it's
unsuccessful then there's always the opportunity to take the good
from that, and make the next potential job interview even better.

Best not to worry about it, plenty of laughs on offer tonight including
quite a few from John Bishop guesting on both 8OO10C, and
Friday Night With Jonathan Ross.

At this rate I'll be sick at the sight of him before the gig in three months.

The Stateside Radio Grammar Police

Earlier this morning I got into a rather petty fracas over spelling
and grammar on Twitter.

Surely it would be excusable if you were tweeting on an iPhone/Blackberry
or whatever in freezing conditions similar to outside as I'm typing.

That aside, by an amazing coincidence I've found a video
from Adam Buckley in America with a guide on "How Not To Get A Job
In The Radio Broadcasting Industry" which doesn't just apply to radio,
so it could be called "How Not To Write A Covering Letter Full Stop".

It's made me think about what's actually written although there
are certain faults which are laughable as most people
of a graduate level wouldn't even think about making such errors.

It's a bit like students in secondary school or college who will actually
write down words such as "innit" in a written document or using
the number "4" instead of the word "for".

Definitely a kick up the bum if ever.

But on the other hand, there's this example from Room 101
and Marcus Brigstocke arguing his case for what he
refers to as "Self Righteous Grammar Bullies".

What you hear at about 0:48 into that clip is almost the
exact conversation I had this morning, so I'm wetting myself.

It's simply a case of 1: Being careful with grammar when writing
an important document or covering letter,

and 2: Not getting uppity about easily made mistakes, which believe
it or not are made by more people than you'd expect.

Cutie Carrie Departs The Airwaves

I've managed to get up OK this morning resisting the urge to go back to sleep
so here's hoping this will become a normal habit.

It's getting lighter at 6:25am anyway which is always helpful so it's only
really that awkward period between December and January that will be a struggle.

Or whenever Chris Moyles is on holiday.

Just as well I did get up as there was a rather witty joke regarding
Jodie Kidd's slip up on a rival London station.

It more or less proves why radio should be left to the professionals
or those who genuinely want to make a living out of it.

Returning to Moyles, and a special show this morning as
it's sports reporter Carrie Prideaux nee Davies' final show
before maternity leave with a special Golden Hour featuring
what I'd imagine will be a few questionable song choices
from the fellow Chelsea supporter.

And on that note there's also an interview with Frank Lampard later on.

Despite the social group meeting being pulled, a Job Centre
appointment that was meant to happen yesterday is taking place
today so here's hoping I can give things a kick up the backside.

It may be worth taking a covering letter with me to see if
anything can be improved.

Although it's more of a case of numbers rather than ability
as it's a bloody rat race to even get employed.

That aside, I plan to finish the NLP "life changing book",
make a start on the DVD of "The Day Today", and of course there's
8 Out Of 10 Cats later on tonight with a return appearance by Bez,
I mean John Bishop.

Definitely my favourite stand up I've recently discovered.

Upcoming Comedy

A typical Thursday night in as always with Mock The Week being the
stand out.

Milton Jones was on fire once again with my favourite being
in the final round with a joke related to DNA.

If you haven't seen it yet, it put Milton's persistence with the puns
to it's funniest use.

My mum's going to see Milton perform live in a few weeks
with her friend Alison which I'm a bit jealous about.

Hopefully by March if money's good, and tickets haven't sold out
I hope to be seeing foul mouthed magician Jerry Sadowitz at
the Leicester Square theatre.

I seem to be going to more comedy performances than music gigs
this year which is worrying.

Even worse is spending more money on train fares than the gigs themselves
which is another one to add to the list of reasons on the huge
pile marked as "C**terbury".

Good Night.

Breaking Free From The Rope

Very empty again, but I suppose that's the case for a lot of
people around this part of the country where snow's been spilling.

As a result it means that the AS social group meeting for tomorrow has
been pulled yet again which means the next one isn't until March.

Will I have left Canterbury by then?

I suppose that's like asking if Bruce Forsyth will have retired from
showbusiness by that time.

I'm still going round in circles it must be said
with no signs of stopping.

The way to go about it, is to go through it steadily and I may read
more of Lynsey Agness' NLP book for most of tomorrow.

It's easy to laugh at but to anyone who feels they're "at the top" or wherever
who considers self help books to be a subject of comedy, but when
that time at the top finally comes to an end when least expected
then we'll see.

It could be two years, it could be in 20 years, whenever.

If I was to find a job in London and end up being made redundant from
it I'm certain there would be other books and individuals who could
deal with those areas perfectly.

But this is where things get to the point where people think I'm talking nonsense.

There's another book I want to by called "The Elephant And The Twig" where the Product Description gives a perfect meaning of the book's title.

My biggest fear is having to resort to a retail job and have all the drive and
the confidence and enthusiasm squeezed out of me like the juicy stuff in a Trident Plus bubblegum.

Yes it may pull in the cash and could be short term, but ultimately
it would ruin me for good.

Knowing me I doubt I'd get past the interview stage anyway.

When I applied for a job at Next two or three years ago it was exactly that.

If other individuals, even those from Uni spread negative thoughts around,
then it makes me like that as well.

And I'll more than happily discuss it on Facebook chat or MSN messenger
as once they're all out of the way, it's possible to start afresh.

But without bad things happnening, how can we love at other's misfortunes
especially in the entertainment and the political world.

There's no straight path in those circumstances.

That said, The Elephant And The Twig will definitely
be my next book purchase.

Dreadful Late Starts

This could become a daily habit.

A few more half asleep questions starting off with

1: Is Comedy Dave from the Chris Moyles Show genuinely on Twitter?

2: Was Fearne Cotton babbling on about The Inbetweeners on her
show this morning?

and 3: Has the banning of Valentine's Day cards in schools
over rejection anxieties gone bonkers?

In response to one of the questions I may see if I can get round
to having a gander at the Inbetweeners by the end of February.

I've still got the DVD of "The Day Today" to view through as of yet which
I'll make a start on tomorrow and finish on Saturday as an ideal substitute
for Paddy McGuinness and his "No Lighty" nonsense.

Whenever I get up I feel really inspired and want to go walking
wherever things take me outside the house.

Until I realise I'm in fucking Canterbury.

Ugh.

I've been here for 18 years on and off and really have seen it all.

There's barely anywhere I want to revisit either.

A few changes will need to be made to my night habits by making
either midnight or 00:30am my definite lights out time and giving up
a few listening habits.

As a result from Monday I'll take a break from Ken Bruce's Popmaster
for at least 6 months in the same way as Chris Moyles last July
which will be even better news for those who find my score updates
on Twitter irritating.

I've taken breaks from the game before and it's been helpful a lot
of the time.
And I'll still remain confident that things will have changed
a lot by the time I start listening again.

Despite the snow, I'm prepared to brave the temperatures to head
to Tesco yet again to get the ingredients for a rather full on pork stew
with pasta where I'm just going to put the steaks straight in there,
no dicing or anything like that.

And of course Mock The Week's back tonight where the guests include
Holly Walsh and a welcome return for Milton Jones.

With Russell Howard now permanently in specs, I'm started to become
convinced that he's the younger brother of Uni alumni Stewart Paske
despite being 7 years older in real life.

Stewart's interviewed Russell and all.

"Of Course He's The Fucking Farmer!"

I've finished revisting all 10 episodes of "Badger Girl" which has
all the conventions of a typical BBC children's drama from the 80s
where well spoken child actors were pretty much put aside.

Well not altogether, there was still stuff like "Box Of Delights",
and "Chronicles Of Narnia" but it proved that regional accents
were not omitted from our screens.

As is always the case the music's worth mentioning where
in this story it sounds like a song that John and Vangelis
rejected.

The composer it turns out was Peter Howell, the man responsible
for the 1980-1985 version of the Doctor Who theme.

What many fans of the original series would suggest is the best
re-arrangement.

The plot of Badger Girl of two people from the city taking a break
in rural settings has prompted me to dig out a film with an
identical plot, made not long after only this time, the two
main characters are on their own and have no idea what they're
doing in the country.

Yes, it's Withnail and I and this time I plan to watch it with the
commentary by director Bruce Robinson which I've never heard before.

It's quite a tricky film to get into first time round although I was
mainly drawn into it by the shouty swearing as you'd expect and
the gritty shooting style.

And that quite a few of the scenes are shot in suburban London
which also helps.

Most of the fans enjoy the film for it's quotes and random lines
which will confuse many an outsider as those from an episode
of Friends.

However on the subject of the latter, October 2011 will be a
happier time and further proof that it will be safe to watch
Channel 4 on a long term basis again.

"Shorten What You Say To Me"

Being half asleep first thing in the morning messes with the mind
to a dreadful extent.

I.E. thinking you have an interview with a music promotion company
for a potential job opportunity.

It's going too far now but I am hopeful that this is just how things
are at this time of the year when things are never steady.

Around March they always start to pick up although, not following an
academic structure this time round does raise questions.

My plan for today involves yet another full re-viewing of
a Look and Read "serial" if you can call it that, "Badger Girl"
which I don't think I've seen since we saw it in primary school.

Originally made over 25 years ago, it's about two children
Debbie and Kieran who are lucky enough to be chosen by their
school to leave the city and spend a week in Dartmoor.

Debbie's not so keen as she is concious about missing the luxuries
of city life including "Space Invaders".

At the time I had no idea what that meant and wasn't
really as clued up on arcade machines from yesteryear.

Overall I'm looking forward to revisiting this and hearing
Derek Griffiths' vocals once again.

I'd imagine he's still doing stage roles these days.

Nothing better than an intoxication of "Magic E".

One Eyed Stand Up And One Eyed Political Send Up

Tonight's Gulbenkian outing went well although the performance
from Jason Byrne itself was a bit longer than I expected it to be.

They could have easily put all the side-splitting parts into one half
than divide it into two but when it was funny it was funny.

There weren't too many eye related gags this time thankfully
although I was laughing at the gags about confronting
a fan in Edinburgh prior to a gig, and having to babysit a child
during a crucial Irish football match.

And yes, there were plenty of rant gags about Thierry Henry.

The music played before and in between the sets sounded like it was
off an best of 1999 album with quite a few guitar tunes from that year
such as "Pick A Part That's New" by The Stereophonics,
"Pumping On Your Stereo" by Supergrass as well as "Praise You" by Fatboy Slim.

There were a few 80s tunes as well occasionally such as "Walk Like An Egyptian"
and as I was walking out near the end it played "Rhythm Of The Night" by
Debarge, a tune I will strongly associate with many a summer soul show
I did at Smoke.

I can't get away from music memory magnets, that's something I've got
to live with.

But that's also had me thinking, I wanted to get into radio so I could play
records like that Debarge track on a commercial station along the same lines
of Invicta FM 15 years ago or 96.4 The Eagle in Surrey for example when
they had the JAM jingles.

It was radio you could have on as background whilst doing
everyday activities not knowing what tune would come next whilst
at the same time it was incredibly fresh in terms of new records
that were appearing.

No wonder Chris Moyles gets over enthusiastic whenever they do
The Golden Hour every Friday.

The difference is it comes across without any drop of cheese whatsoever.

It can be done.

Best to get back into the present and Charlie Brooker's Newswipe where
this week they looked at the continuing struggle of politicians
to make themselves look more accesible and "more human".

It wasn't as good as last weeks or most of the earlier shows in the
series athough I could tell from Charlie's Twitter updates that
editing this week's show was very uncertain at times.

I'm guessing that next week will be the final proper show
and after that will be a highlights show which I doubt
I'll be that excited about.

At least with Mock The Week they show some of the balls ups
which I'd imagine there'd be a lot of on Newswipe in terms
of getting links right but with all due respect it wouldn't be as
sidesplitting.

According to an interview in Radio Times, Charlie also has a Radio Four
series starting later in the year as well so it will be interesting to see
how sharp his tounge will straighten on the noise box.

Good Night.

"I Know Where The Soul Is At" (In The Radio Times It Seems)

Rather full up as I type as I've just finished yet another mixture of meaty
stuff and tangy liquid with dischi pasta.

The plan for tonight is to head up to the Gulbenkian where
I shall be seeing Irish comic Jason Byrne performing, and if his
set on Apollo was anything to go by, it should be even better in a
no-holds-barred manner.

It may mean that I miss tonight's Newswipe so I'm hoping that
gets on iPlayer in good timing but there's also Act Your Age
on Radio 4 as well which according to Simon Mayo himself
is the funniest of the series.

I'm looking forward to next week even more however as not only
is Roy Walker back as a captain, but one of the guests on the "current crop"
team will be noneother than John Bishop.

I used to get him confused with fellow captain Jon Richardson but
I now know who's funnier by a very long shot if Richardson's
embarassing appearances on Buzzcocks/HIGNFY are anything to go by.

I was also rather pleased to see Peter Young finally featured in Radio Times'
"Face Behind The Voice" column after being referred in there quite a few
times recently including by former Capital colleague Gary Crowley.

I've gone on about him many a time but he's one of the few people
in radio who's always had a passion for music which oozes through
the airwaves without looking false, and with no ambition of wanting to
become a gameshow host or have their own chat show on television.

And to think that the Soul Cellar started off as an antidote to the
dominating disco records and is now one of the longest running features
is an achievement if ever.

Especially as the stuff PY has been playing from the 60s is a lot
more timeless that most of the soul records being issued in 1979
even if I have a crazy penchant myself for anything around that era.

Now that man really is the luckiest fella in radio.

A Liquid Diet Of Soft Colours

Getting up at 11am isn't the ideal way to start off.

For one thing there's loads of questions that are racing around,
was Katie Price the guest on the Chris Moyles Show earlier,
is today's date really "9.02.10" and is Kat Slater returning to Eastenders?

All of the above I'll have probably forgotten about by tonight
hopefully.

For this month mind, and probably into March I'm going
on a booze detox.

I'm concious of putting on weight again but more so of gaining
the delusion that I think I can get away with anything
judging by the jokes I'm telling on the radio show.

I'm a music show, not 8 Out Of 10 Cats, and that's what I need to get
round my head.

To keep naughty gags down the pub and away from the microphone.

But at the same time I don't want to turn into a show that talks down
to the listener and sound like I know better than then.

But the question is where do you draw the line between talking coherently
in a straight sentence, as opposed to sounding patronising?

Even if I'm writing a naughty response to a tweet or Facebook status
I end up thinking "meh" mid sentence which is probably for the best.

I just need to expect individuals who will give me a negative perspective
on how things are and just keep going until I reach a stable
income position.

If things haven't improved by March I will apply for counselling.

Medical advice seems to be doing sod all to improvement
on an emotional scale and it's best to talk to someone
who knows what they're actually doing.

Even if it does mean breaking the bank.

Night Ranting To Night Rhythms

Everything's still getting too hard to handle.

I've been sending out letters and e-mails but still pondering on
whether the last 5-10 years were a waste of my time.

I really shouldn't let short minded so and sos put ideas into my head.

They won't last in their as of yet unburst bubbles if they carry on like that.

It's not really a case of me liking music more than media.

I can't play an instrument and am completely unable of writing
anything melodic.

But it's how music is used on television and radio that got me interested in it
on the whole and I've noticed that in radio especially it's starting to
play less of a part in identifying itself.

On one of the jingle demos I own from around 1995/1996 it had a line that went
"Your business is music! So put the musical impact back into your sound
and make it more than sweepers and liner cards"

Even Glee doesn't have a proper opening theme tune
which really is shocking considering the sort of show it is.

It's easy for me to blame my Asperger's Syndrome for my speech difficulties
but that's just part of the disorder.

It also had me developing obsessive interests with things that
would go over peoples heads to the point that let me think of an example...

Even the man who designed the 1979 BBC 2 symbol would forget
that he made it out of all the things he did including the opening
titles to Doctor Who when Sylvester McCoy was in the role.

There's only one way out of this mess.

Pester power.

Or to remain active, update my website and keep on pestering
anywhere in London that has a mixing desk inside it, to view what
I could offer.

And see what it leads to.

But this is the thing it is annoying me the fucking most.

The difference between being passionate about radio, or
getting too passionate that potential employers are worried
about me going bonkers again.

I won't prejudge yet.

I'll do my best to give it six months, because there have been times
I have got dismissive for all the wrong reasons when potential doors
could have been opened.

I'm really going to have to buy a terrabyte drive so I can store all
my record downloads on there.

There's tons of stuff that will sustain my stability in this tricky
period.

And I wouldn't get offended if a synth backed sax track by Lee Ritenour
from 20 years ago had you wanting to vomit.

Although come to think of it, I'd much rather be listening to
this sort of stuff amongst an LA night sky.

Good Night.