My Exploits Of '11

Alright, so I lied about the previous blog post being the last of 2011.

But it's best to end things on a positive and although they have been far
and few this year, here's a set of some of the happier outings and events
I've been present at.

Ed Welch - "As Herd On TV" (1st of April)

A night hosted by and devoted to the music of one of the finest
television composers was too good to miss, even if it was taking
place all the way in Dartmouth in front of a shall we say, "mature audience".

The show was split into two halves with the first giving an explanation
of the use of music within moving images, including a witty anecdote
about the days of silent films, where one cinema piano player accompanied
a re-enactment of Jesus walking on water, with the tune "Life On The Ocean Waves".

There was also a video montage of some of Welch's best known telly sig
tunes including Blockbusters, although disappointingly for me, I was the
only person in the audience doing the infamous hand jive.

The second half looked at more of Ed's television work including live performances accompanied by local vocalist Diane Carter who worked
alongside Ed on TSW's late night regional entertainment show Friday People.Overall it was a superb show with plenty of visual accompaniment featuring
a number of famous people Ed had worked with including Spike Milligan,
Bob Monkhouse, Noel Edmonds, Paul Merton, and even Vanessa Feltz.

And I even managed to get a photo with the man himself, holding
a VHS tape with what has to be Ed's finest signature tune.

 

If you see it, say it.

It was a nice weekend as a whole, escaping from problems in Canterbury
(and Folkestone) away in the surroundings of rural Devon, and
thanks to Celia, Alan and Kathy for putting up with me and being superb.

"Putner And Glen's Inglorious Stereo" at The Leciester Square Theatre
(8th of April)

Exactly a week after my televisual outing, another one took place
this time in more familiar surroundings.

The show was brought to my attention by fellow television and comedy
fan Louis Barfe on Twitter, so I decided to meet up with him and
a few other like minded people to view Paul Putner (AKA the Curious Orange)
and musician partner Glen Richardson prove that sketch based comedy is
far from dead.

To be fair, it would only really appeal to those with a love for classic
television with one sketch involving Putner coughing out the theme
to Some Mother's Do Ave Em, and laughing in a rhythmic manner not
too dissimilar to that of Blankety Blank.

A witty if affectionate tribute to Ronnie Hazlehurst if ever.

My favourite bit was near the end where Putner attempted to
re-create the end credits of Top (Boss) Cat and then comedy falling
face first a la Bobby Davro.

I would loved to have stuck around for longer at the nearby pub,
but I didn't want to miss the last train back to Canters, meaning
I missed Paul and Glen popping over for a chat.

However I did get a photo of Louis Barfe's London Weekend Television
branded tie, and George's Yorkshire Television cufflinks as previously
worn by "Twice Nightly" himself.

(May need zooming in)

Visting Dani In Brighton (24th September)

It's always good to escape to unfamilar surroundings now and again,
and none better than Brighton where fellow radio student Dani had
just started a rather hectic post-grad course.

It wasn't quite the heatwave that was to follow the week after
but the weather was nice enough to drink al fresco in both
Brighton town centre and on the world famous pier.

I've never understood why such outings with uni friends can't be adventurous
to the point of doing whatever the hell we want, and myself and Danielle
did just that, by having a ride on the fairground waltzer.

To do that on a proper outing with the rest of the university lot would
be even better, but the CSR team appear to have something similar
planned in the pipeline for 2012 so either way I'll be back there
before too long.

Sirin Stops Over (31st of August)

Out of everyone I've known from the radio course, it's hard
to find anyone nicer than Sirin, and on finding out she was
popping back to home shores from Cyprus, I did whatever
I could to make sure our paths crossed.

Sure enough Sirin arranged for myself, Steven and Caroline
to meet up in Central London and we went to the stunning
Jerusalem restuarant where I had an amazing Ariabata pasta
dish, which I wasn't expecting to find there.

It was good to hear how Sirin was getting on, and myself
Steven and Caroline just wished it could have been for longer.

But it was good all the same and Sirin if you're reading this
I hope things have settled down back in Cyprus.

Please come back over here next year and maybe visit
Canterbury?
Good times like the above don't come often these days,
but when they do they live up to being amazing.

I'm hoping next year will see more of the same, only with
me being more positive about things to follow.

And thanks to everyone who helped make all the above outings
as good as they were.

"I've Been 'Fraid Of Changing"

What may be my last blog post of 2011, and it's been an interesting year at
that.

I imagine one thing I've got my head round is that being overly optimistic
is one thing, but desperately optimistic is another.

If there's one thing not to assume, it's that all woes will disappear in an
instant at the turn of a year.

I couldn't have been more wrong this time twelve months ago
when anything and anyone could frustrate me,
and I dealt with it in completely the wrong way.

Radio still played a big part in my life for the wrong reasons, where
petty politics got in the way of just getting on with it.

I was still missing the old University radio crowd so it was a blessing
of sorts when I was asked to help out with a new radio station in Folkestone
that would be run by two familiar faces, them being a lecturer and a
student who I graduated with.

For some reason or other, it just didn't seem to be working, and I didn't
know where I stood, as if I showed an interest in a particular area, or
presenting a particular show, I would be frowned upon.

That and my uncertainty over CSR caused me to snap one afternoon
in May of this year and I was driven back home from Folkestone and
I felt very depressed.

It resulted in me being absent from my CSR show for three weeks
including on my birthday where instead of presenting my Blam Jam show
I was upstairs in my room watching the film Pinocchio.

Animation was my way of recovering, with a more contemporary
viewing being this years South Park mid-season finale "You're Getting Old"
where I felt like the direct double of Stan.

The use of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide" at the end of the episode was
inspired, and more than certainly had me thinking.

I was convinced at the time that I didn't have a future in radio.

I shortly realised that I did, it just wouldn't be in Folkestone.

I had to accept that others around me would never change,
but that didn't mean I'd be the same.

Like Stan Marsh, I felt like I was getting older myself, as I was travelling
to London less, going to fewer gigs, and on the nights when I did
go out, I would go home when everyone else would go to a nightclub.

Even if it did mean severing links with others, it didn't upset
me too much.

I'm surprised I managed to get the work placement at Folded Wing
earlier in the Summer as when I went for the initial interview in mid May
I was still rather down in the dumps.

I must have done well to disguise that, and the placement itself
split over two weeks in June and August respectively, turned out
to be very motivating, working with people who clearly love
radio and music, but didn't feel the need to bitch about differing tastes.

On returning to CSR in June, I became more involved than ever
helping out with events, presenting a drivetime show throughout the
summer and best of all, having a hand with the station sound.

I was actually enjoying myself there, and making more friends within it all.

It's not good to name names but a lot of this would be down the newly
appointed Media Co-Ordinator Mel, a very encouraging woman, and someone
who actually knows a thing or two about radio.

I reckon that's passed through everyone, as a large number of those
involved at CSR now seem to actually care about their shows and
the station, which I have not seen in a radio environment for a very long time.

Best of all have been the socials that have taken place in many
a boozer in Canterbury, which seem to get bigger and bigger in terms
of attendance.

And it seems there's no such thing as a comfort zone, as Mel and
station manager Ryan want to take them further afield next year
with a possible trip to Brighton lined up.

However despite my involvement in the station, it doesn't seem
to be taking over my life thankfully.

I'm more determined about what I would like to do in radio, and
having spent a fair amount of money on audio production libraries
this Christmas, the determinism won't fade out for some time.

But I need to be realistic, and am trying to make more effort to
find a proper job beforehand, and with a bit of extra help I'll
be able to manage any further knockbacks.

I'm also starting to do whatever it takes to avoid "moanerz"
in fear that I have become my own victim.

Those on social networking websites, and media discussion forums
who have dated, idiotic, and dare I say prehistoric views on certain areas.

Wanting things to go back to how they were in 1985 and all
that bollocks.

I've learnt that it's good to have a nostalgic wallow now and again
but for too long I've let it take over my mindset into thinking
that everything in the present day is shit.

Absolute rubbish.

With regards to radio it's never been better, as there are so many
platforms online for people to make their own shows.

And having spent so much money on audio production packages
it would be an idea to put them to good use, so hopefully
by the end of 2012 I'll have my own radio exploit that's entirely
in my hands RE creativity.

But then again, who said I was creative?

Most important of all, it's best not to make long term plans at
the start of the new year, or any time at all for that matter as
they'll inevitably go balls up.

And I wouldn't call this year a rubbish one at all as it's best to learn
things the hard way, knowing that you won't make the same mistakes
again.

No, no no, there's some newer ones to be made in 2012, and
I'll gradually recover from them.

Box Bashing And Wireless Wallowing

With one Charlton Brooker giving his long awaited take on
the year's popular culture tonight, I thought I'd attempt my own
look back on the telly of 2011, although it will be nowhere near as hilarious.

It's been a rather interesting year however.

Starting off with drama and worthy of a mention are BBC 2's
United starring David Tennant as Jimmy Murphy in a poignant
dramatisation of the 1958 Munich plane crash and it's aftermath.

ITV in September gave us Appropriate Adult which understandably
was a taboo subject to deal with but despite casting a near-namesake
in the role of Fred West, it was played brilliantly, with notable performances
by Emily Watson as Janet Leach and Monica Dolan giving a hauntingly
volatile representation of Rose West.

You've probably gathered that I've only really taken interest in one
off dramas or short series, so Charlier Brooker's Black Mirror anthology
looked certain to be right up my street.

Although oddly enough it was the episode not penned by Brooker that
was the most powerful, with Jesse Armstrong's The Entire History Of You
acting as an unofficial public information film on why it wouldn't be a good
idea to implement the Facebook timeline app.

Doctor Who was split into two halves this year, possibly as a ploy by
Steven Moffat to get the series transmitted in the Autumn in the long-term
of which he succeeded.

The series had it's fair share of hit and miss stories, although it
looks set to evolve next year with the departure of Amy Pond, and the
quite frankly useless Rory Williams.

However on a rather cynical note, I almost missed the first few minutes
of episode 1, due to my insistence of not wanting to switch on the telly
because of the programme preceding it.

That being the infamous Don't Scare The Hare, one of many contenders
for the most unwatchable programme of 2011.

It sort of falls into the same category of Glee in which it just becomes
the exact thing it's trying to parody if Jason Bradbury's knowing/sarcastic/
annoying presenting style was anything to go by.

Other cringeworthy contenders worth mentioning include The Marriage Ref
a woeful attempt at giving Dermot O'Leary a supplementary telly gig,
That's Britain, in all honesty who actually would want a That's Life! revival?,
and Sing If You Can, a show which made Take Me Out look watchable.

But surely the most embarrassing televisual disaster this year
would go to Red Or Black, which could be the beginning of a downwards
presenting spiral for Ant & Dec.

So much so, that they've even gone as far as bringing back one of
their older series to return in 2012. Sadly it won't be SM:tv.

No, no, Saturday Night Takeaway will be getting a reprieve next year
after three years off the air, although it's doubtful Little Ant & Dec
will be making a comeback, considering they're both taller than the real duo.

A more than apt transition into programmes for little people
and there have been a fair few children's programme making the mark
this year.

Horrible Histories transferred to prime time to mixed results, mainly
due to the unwelcome removal of Rattus Rattus and in his place
(or should that be "out of place") was Stephen Fry.

Hopefully that won't be a long-term move.

Tracy Beaker Returns did just that for a second series, gaining
popularity from older fans if the number of times the programme
has trended on Twitter is anything to go by.

A highlight of the series being one of the boys stealing an OAP's
scooter as accompanied by "White Riot" by The Clash.

Not the first appearance of the song within children's television
considering Gordon The Gopher used to headbang along to it
in the Broom Cupboard.

The modern day equivalent, that being The CBBC Office moved
to Salford along with the rest of the department including Blue Peter
which saw three presenters reduced to two, and inevitably two shows
a week down to one, starting from next year and transmitted exclusively
on the CBBC Channel.

It's further speculation that the traditional mid-afternoon slot on BBC 1
may be numbered, especially with it's absence altogether during Christmas.

Reality TV refused to lower it's ugly head, although signs of a descend
are starting to creep up.

Big Brother moved to Channel 5 to the point that no one even gave
a bollocks, or knew it was still being shown.

The Celebrity contest which heralded the arrival was more a case
of the stars wanting to boost the show's profile rather than the other way
round, with the contestants mainly being established tabloid fodder.

Simon Cowell looks set to be on the wane as well, with his departure
as a judge on the UK X Factor eventually sending the show into chaos.

Initially it looked very promising, with a fresh new panel at the auditions,
some promising contestants, and an amusing turn at the judges houses
stage with Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams choosing the boys.

It was when the live shows commenced that it started to go wrong
although I can't quite pin it down.

It would either be Gary's forced negativity, Kelly Rowland's contrived
personality, the appalling decision of getting Alexandra Burke as a
stand in judge (fucked-up.com), or the underwhelming final at Wembley
Arena where just about every act in the final was overshadowed by a
performance by Coldplay.

And that's saying something.

Being beaten almost every week in the ratings by Strictly and to
the Xmas No. 1 slot by the Military Wives is more of a hint that the
public are thinking "we're fed up, just fuck right off".

Or along those lines.

But in all fairness, name me another show especially on ITV
that can get higher ratings than the X Factor.

It will be sticking around for sometime...

Comedy came up trumps this year with new arrivals such as
Friday Night Dinner, which drew a mixed reception but for some reason
I enjoyed it instantly. Mark Heap's character as the next door neighbour
stood out the most, and it's worth mentioning Matthew Holness
who appeared as a sofa remover in episode 1.

On the panel show front, Buzzcocks made what many thought
was an unwelcome return, still without a regular host but there
were a few guest presenters who managed to cut the mustard
with surprisngly amusing turns from James Blunt and Cilla Black.

None of them could hold a candle to Adam Buxton however
with the Next Lines round adapted to one based on his dissection
of Youtube comments.

Or sutin.

Both Buxton and partner Joe Cornish made a long-awaited/
went-far-too-quickly return to BBC 6 Music in the Spring culminating
in a live set of shows from Glastonbury.

Whether they'll make a return to the airwaves is anyone's guess
with Cornish's directing career knowing no bounds.

Staying with radio, the best programme of the year without a doubt
would be Trevor Dann's Sounds of The 20th Century on BBC Radio 2,
still yet to complete it's 50 week run.

A weekly compendium of audio from television, newsreels, film trailers,
even some vintage BBC Radio at that, with no analysis whatsoever,
apart from Jeremy Vine topping and tailing each episode.

I'm guessing he gained practise at that through Panorama.

The other most memorable radio outing this year without question
would be Chris Moyles's record breaking radio show for Comic Relief
managing to be something that radio doesn't quite achieve that often.

Compulsion.

Being streamed live on telly and online added to the enjoyment.

Others worth mentioning include Radio 4's Chain Reaction
comedy interview series which saw a fantastic interview from
John Cooper-Clarke asking the questions to comedy's dark horse
Kevin Eldon.

And David Rodigan finally got national radio exposure for 10 weeks
over the summer as part of Radio 2's reggae season.

But to finish with, the funniest radio moment of them all, courtesy
of Eddie Mair on Radio 4's PM, on the afternoon when the identity
of the footballer who took out a super injunction was blurted out in
parliament.

Digitally Dead

It's been a here and there day.

My Freesat box has decided to act like a bitch and after many a scrambled
reception is seemingly refusing to detect a signal altogether.

I very clearly remember an advertisement for Digital Television by the BBC
13 years ago, mentioning that "noughts and ones" weren't effected
by sources of interferences unlike analogue, which goes to show that even
back in the late 90s the BBC were still lying to us.

We'll try and see if it's a problem with the cable tomorrow morning,
although it's having no effect on the downstairs television.

However as a temporary and possibly permanent replacement I have
signed up to the live streaming site TVCatchup.com which has a fairly good
set of channels on offer, including Dave which isn't on Freesat
for some reason or other.

Whether we sort the problem out or not tomorrow morning, it's
given me more determinism to at least try to start searching for my
own place to live.

The Tuneful Offerings Of '11

With everyone now back at home, nothing really changed come to think of
it, I'm still burning DVD-Rs in the cellar, and ripping and labelling MP3s
of Gracenote failed CDs, mainly of radio and jingle related stuff with a
heavy dose of the late great Bill Mitchell.

The ideas of how to use them are endless, until finding out that they've
been done before by many a travelling disk spinner.

On a similar note, I've put together a Spotify playlist of my "Tunes Of 2011"
mainly of the soulful, electro, indie variety and a few odd novelty covers
thrown in for good measure.

A brass band cover of "Africa" by Toto being one such example that
had me chortling on first listen.

There's plenty more disk ripping and track labelling to be done tomorrow,
not to mention a bit of cassette transferring and noise reducing.

I wouldn't mind if it was a paid job.

Melodic Monochrome - The Sequel

Almost a year ago, well right at the start of this year I posted a blog
dissecting the musical work of the unsung composers of television.

I promised to do a follow-up not long after, but I got caught up with
other things, such as spending time in London pubs chatting to like
minded library music fans, and even meeting the odd composer
in person.

But as it's the little bit in the holidays where nothing's going on at all
I thought I'd put together a second helping containing a few tunesmiths
who certain readers thought should have been in the first one.

Here goes;


Keith Mansfield 






Quite a lengthy selection, and it was difficult to decided what to include and what to leave out as many a composition by Mansfield became the defining tune of respective outdoor activities on the BBC.

One bringing back many memories of being sat in front of the telly on a Saturday lunchtime, which pretty much gives me an excuse to dig out an amusing moment from Buzzcocks where Sean Hughes and Kevin from Liberty X have to perform the intro to the strangely familiar "Forget About You" by The Motors. I bet the thought going through Sean Hughes' head was "it sounds like a sports theme".

Back to Mansfield, and it's also worth mentioning "Party Time" at 1.25, familiar to listeners of Chris Evans' Breakfast Show as the backing bed for Vassos Alexander's sports updates, and "Superstar Fanfare" at 3:02 used as the ident theme for Channel Television in the mid-80s.

Ronnie Hazlehurst






I'll be perfectly honest, whilst the name may be familiar, the best known works of the late composer are on a personal level rather inane.

It seemed to be a requirement of the BBC's in house composer to match the main melody of a sig tune to the show's title (Last Of The Summer Wine, Wogan) or to provide sickly lyrics giving a viewer a taste of what to expect (The Paul Daniels Magic Show, Larry Grayson's Generation Game) Larry Grayson also deserves a nod for having in my opinion, the worst gameshow theme tune with a badly timed ending and unexpected change of key and tempo.

Thankfully the audio in the above montage puts that to one side, with gems such as the twangy tune to Sorry!, the authoritative Yes Minister, the original theme to Only Fools And Horses, and both the opening and closing theme to The Two Ronnies.

There's also the middle bit of the long theme to Some Mothers Do 'Ave Em which in itself is rather superb. And it would have been ridiculous to have left out Blankety Blank.

Neil Richardson 






Once again, a man who's not associated with many specific sig tunes, apart from the one near the end which is up there with News At Ten for catching children off guard when they should have been in bed.

Thankfully it's the original version of "Approaching Menace", as opposed to the new arrangement they've introduced for the most recent series of Mastermind.

Also included are the lively "Full Speed Ahead" at 0:18 and "Prestige Production" at 1:06, later renamed "The Riviera Affair" and released on the first (superior) Sound Gallery compilation during the mid-90s "Loungecore" revival.



James Clarke 





Another composer who again, isn't associated with a specific television sig tune but his works have cropped up here and there over the years.

Kicking off the selection is "Wild Elephants" AKA "Blow Up-A-Go-Go" revived in 1999 as the soundtrack to the infamous Gap adverts and subsequently used like bonkers on many a television and radio show.

Also worth a mention at 0.35 is "Pogo Stick" which I seem to remember cropping up in an episode of Morph, and the rather surreal synth blues tune "Mr Mack" at 2.30.

And if you've reached this far, thank you for reading and listening, and apologies if any melodies have trouble escaping from your head.

(All rights acknowledged)

The Red Bull Comedown (Or "Profoundly In Love With Miranda")

It's not fair.

I'm beginning to think that even after a night of only drinking water
I'd still be hungover the next day.

To paint a clearer picture, I'm still a bit here and there after yesterday
despite only drinking Red Bull, albeit really quickly.

On the plus side, I'm gradually becoming less spiteful and anxious
about things, but then again, we all know what happened the last time
I felt like that, I.E. it wasn't to last.

Maybe I was meant to be a miserable old bastard.

I was anything but that last night, as top of my viewing priorities was
the 2011 Big Fat Quiz Of The Year which was enjoyable even if not the best
ever.

But then again, the 2006 contest with Noel and Russell will be as hard
to beat as the Donny Tourette episode of Buzzcocks.

Which coincidentally also featured Noel Fielding.

Anyway, back to BFQOTY as the trending hashtag went, and I reckon
I developed a crush on Miranda Hart to rather worrying levels.

Maybe it was the red jacket she was wearing.

I won't repeat what I wrote on Twitter, but it pretty much says it all.

All the usual bits were included such as the primary school "topical"
nativities, and Jon Snow reading news stories on popular songs,
and I'm certain Richard Keys and Andy Gray will be flattered at their
brief foray in telly exposure, courtesy of Miranda Hart and David Walliams.

I'm trying not to give too much away in case anyone reading hasn't
yet seen the programme, but for the first time I actually played along,
writing my answers in a Word document.

The answer sheet itself can be downloaded here, making use of the
Chart Show/8:15 From Manchester famous Rockwell Condensed font
as you'd expect.

No funny answers though, unless you find my pathetic attempts
at answering certain questions amusing.

Or me using a "V" to illustrate a tick.

Mum, Dad and Olly are back home later this afternoon, but I doubt
that will make too much of a difference to goings on, what with more
DVD-R burning, and hopefully putting my Xmas money into the bank.

The Escape From The Farting Toilets

I arrived back in Canterbury this afternoon after my almost week away
for Christmas, where this year we stayed in a rather pleasant
house in Oxwick in rural Norfolk.

It was nice to get not just my own room but also a proper bed
although nothing too eventful took place during our stay.

Actually having thought about it, we went on a walk yesterday
where we were followed, almost chased by a rather wild cattle herd
which put one of the elderly family members on the nervous side of things
but luckily the cows made a turning before they got too close.

It's also worth mentioning the upstairs loo, as whenever it was flushed
it would make a loud droning noise for two minutes that could be heard
throughout the whole house, due to it being powered by a septic tank.

I was getting rather curious that people were flushing to take the mickey
at one point, with one flush after another.

As for presents, well I didn't get too many physical ones as such,
apart from the DVD of Christ On A Bike featuring yours truly making
many a gormless grin throughout Richard Herring's routine.

Most of the other presents will go nicely towards shrinking my
credit card bill.

Well I say that now...

On arriving back in Canters this afternoon the plan was to meet up
with Josh, although being without social networking for a week,
I didn't know where.

It turned out that him and his mates were at a favourite restuaurant
of the Blamires, that being Cafe Mauresque which I was a bit taken aback
about, but luckily I didn't have to wait too long for them to leave
when arriving about an hour later.

Josh had travelled back from Manchester with his lovely wife, and
was accompanied by a few other mates from College and KIAD (Kent
Institute of Arts and Design) where our next port of call was the Parrot
pub, with a genuine parrot.

Cue endless squeaking and whistling.

It was also good to meet Josh's family who made a visit shortly
after and despite only drinking Red Bull, the effects of liquid
knew no bounds.

Probably just as well I'm back safely on home soil, and in time for
an annual telly event, that being The Big Fat Quiz.

I wonder what news stories will be re-enacted by the pupils of
Mitchellbrook Primary School this year?...

"It Better Be Good For Goodness Sake"

Just about all my bags are packed and in less than two hours,
I will be heading over to Fakenham for the annual Christmas
retreat in the "middle of nowhere" as it always seems.

It will probably be OK this year as I haven't planned anything
elaborate to do there, or have my hopes up about implausible
thoughts, normally of a nostalgic manner.

And being in a different house to the one we've been to for
the last 9 years may make it more fun as well.

To be quite honest, the month is absolutely speeding by
and that may be down to a habit of looking forward rather than
backwards which I've been wanting to do for a long time.

And whatever job I get (I'll be bloody lucky) or what I plan
to do with my time, if I don't like it, I'll try and tell people
straight who are able to help, doing my best not to make it sound
like a moan.

However, part of the reason I'm slightly positive all of a sudden
is because I have parcels of CDs containing radio and audio production
related material that I have kept preserved right up to the end of the year,
as a "treat" of sorts.

The trick is not to become obsessed with them, or at worst
"cynically nostalgic" because of them.

It won't be too bad as I've got a fair few things coming up in London
and Canterbury regarding birthdays, drinking dos etc.

One being on the day I get back (27th) as Josh from college is returning
from Manchester for a few days and we'll be having a few drinks as you do.

As is usually the case this time of year, I'll be taking a break from blogging,
even if the house we're going to does have internet access.

Surely that's the best Christmas present of all.

Have a good holiday if you've reached this far, and go easy on the booze.

A Seasonally Sublime Offering

It was hard not to do something of this expense this year (not that
any expense has actually gone into this at all) so I've put together
a Mixcloud of festive offerings that are typical of what I would be
listening to in December.

Included is a neo-soul take on "Sleigh Ride" by the Latin Project,
Donny Hathway's "This Christmas" given the souful house treatment
by The Elements of Life, and the Terry Wogan favourite "What A Day"
by Elio Pace, notable for a stunning key-change halfway.

And it's a far cry from the modern day X Factor "let's stick one in two bars
towards the end of the song" nonsense.

I was initially going to include John Coltrane's "My Favourite Things"
in there, but at a length of 13 minutes I wouldn't want to subject
anyone to the musical equivalent of a party blower.

Hence the inclusion of another version of the song by underrated
jazz vocalist Carmen Lundy.

If you've got a fair bit of spare time over the holidays feel free
to listen all the way through and I would love to get any constructive
suggestions regarding my mixing abilities.

Or transitional abilities to be more apt.

"Throwing Stones At A Fish"

As the old proverb goes, "Good things come to those who wait", and
having booked the tickets all the way back in June of this year,
Stewart Lee was at his best tonight at the Leicester Square Theatre.

"Carpet Remnant World" was based on a variety of topics,
despite Lee's insistence that time spent travelling to gigs
and "childcare" had prevented him from coming up with any new
material.

"Childcare" meaning watching endless hours of Scooby Doo
with his four year old son, to the point of seeing the modern
world through the perspective of those inhabiting the Mystery Machine.

Halfway through the first half, the microphone broke down, resulting
in an improvised outburst which lasted about 15 minutes until
they managed to get the spare mic working.

And it was bloody funny too.

However the best bit was in the second act, where under an ultraviolet
light, with a light jazz accompaniment, Stewart read out a selection
of negative Tweets and Youtube comments directed towards him
which when read in the dry deadpan manner was simply sidesplitting.

I really hope that this gets a DVD release, as it's doubtful much
of the material will make it to the telly, should a third series
of Comedy Vehicle be commisioned.

The Nearly Extinguished Firetto (Sorry)

Before I forget, I thought it would be worth posting this blog post from
radio and television presenter Nino Firetto, formerly of Thames Television's
"Magpie for the mid 80s" magazine show Splash!, and a one time presenter
and producer at Invicta FM in the early 90s.

My TV Career - An Edited Life Story - By Nino Firetto

Although telly is the major focus, it more or less goes to show
that there's no such thing as job security in the media.

Now running a casting agency, it's commendable of Firetto to share
his experiences, but a more worrying issue is that regarding today's
celebrity culture and X Factor overdoses, there needs to be a lot more
explanation to those who thirst for fame, about how short-lived success
can be and that the fall can be very painful.

Even on a low level in my case (and you really can't get lower than that)
you get carried away, and whilst at University I got far too content with
how things were, reluctant to change or evolve with regards to the
wider world of radio.

Thankfully with my involvement at CSR running all the time and not just
term time (save for the current Christmas break), I'm now starting
to focus more on what my next show will sound like all the time, rather
than clinging onto what I thought was my previous "fantastic" show from
the week before.

And hopefully by beginning to do more things outside of radio, I'll
have a lot more to think about rather than one long thought dominating
my mindset.

"I Replay It Over And Over Again" (Contains Spoilers)

The third and final episode of Black Mirror turned out to be the best one
of the series, mainly on the basis that it wasn't centred around the media.

But then again, Jesse Armstrong doesn't make a living out of staring
at the "git box" as Brooker himself has referred to it.

I certainly won't be the first to pick up on this, but it was well
timed, if coincidental regarding the introduction of Facebook's new
timeline feature, although in the future vision of society in the episode
individuals have all their memories stored on a pocket-sized keyring
device known as a "Grain" which allows them to view them through
their own retina, or on a flat screen TV.

It certainly hit home in places, hopefully not as such violent circumstances
but when shit happens, it takes a long time to get over it and move on.

The only downside to the episode was Toby Kebbell breaking slightly
into his Notts accent when his voice was raised in the bottle scene,
but it didn't ruin the episode to a large extent.

And good on Channel 4's presentation team, for not talking over
the credits.

I plan to lift myself up later tonight before getting some shut eye
with a lengthy gear change at that.

Having a gander at the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Live DVD which
is worth it for hearing When Harry Met Sally re-enacted by a Clanger.

That made my dad laugh when I simply mentioned it to him.

Twisted Timelines

It's one of those rare nights where we have a full house as such,
by which every family member is under the same roof.

Although at the time of typing, Kate's probably gone out into
Canterbury for birthday drinks, but she's staying until tomorrow
evening where she's working until Friday.

I'm not as miserable as I'd expect to be around this part of the year,
although I am rather melancholy for reasons I'm unsure about.

Maybe uncertainty is the reason itself, but I'd rather be in this
position as opposed to feeling bitter about the modern world
and searching for someone to blame.

On a lighter note, I began using Facebook's timeline feature yesterday,
which for those yet to cotton on, gives a month-by-month, year-by-year
rundown of statuses and photos.

And oh my, some of the statuses I've written over time have been
utter nonsense, with this example being one such, from the
very early hours of the 18th of August 2007;

"Robin is saying DRINK TANGO!"

I'll leave you to try and work that one out.

The Holidays "Really Are" Coming

It's rather quiet here tonight as Mum and Dad have gone up to Leeds
to collect Olly from university.

Well, I tell a lie as it hasn't been quiet in Canterbury as a whole
as a sleigh with Santa Claus has been driven round the area as part
of a stunt by the rotary club, and our own road has just had a visit
from them.





Mum Dad and Olly are back here tomorrow, and Kate's also popping
back for a short visit as it's her birthday and she's planning to go
out with a few old faces that night.

I don't really have anything planned at all until Monday, so
tonight will probably spent enjoying a bol in front of The Comedy Awards.

And I bet I'm not the only one irritated about Miranda Hart getting
nominated despite not recording a full series in 2011.

Even if she does have a face that can make me laugh instantly,
it's still a bit steely.

On Mixcloud 9

Battling with a wretched hangover has been the order for part
of today, but I have done a few more constructive things as well.

One being updating my Mixcloud profile which is similar to Soundcloud,
only you can upload any music tracks as part of a radio show or mixtape.

I've gone for the latter, by uploading the Ahmed Sirour set from
my radio show a couple of weeks ago, only with a few more slicker
segueways, than when I did it live on air.

Amongst Ahmed's own material, are remixes of The Beatles,
Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, and Aaliyah to name a few.

Actually, the term "remix" doesn't do them justice, these are near
to complete re-arrangements of said songs, with only the vocals
left intact.

The audio can be heard below, and although there's a few issues
with differing levels, it's something to keep in mind for future mixes.

Best of all, my voice is absent altogether.

I'll upload a few more over the next couple of weeks including a
festive selection of tunes that aren't likely to be heard
in many shopping centres over December.

Last episode of TIE '88 tonight, and whilst it's not been as defining
as '86, it's still one of the best things on the telly and hopefully setting
up the story for the proposed 1990 follow-up.

The Long Arm Of Broadcasting

An article from radio bod John Myers has caught my attention,
looking in to why a nation of serial complainers, could possibly become
a reason to complain in itself.

It's an issue that's been written on my blog many a time, but
when the BBC is hit by en-masse miserable so and sos, they resort
to acting like the England football team if they had lost the first round
of the World Cup, i.e. taking a long time to recover.

I don't know if the Clarkson issue is directly responsible, but it can't
be coincidental that the extended repeats of Have I Got News For You
since then have had all the fucks bleeped, even when not used in a sexual
context.

To make that more understandable, when a not so PC comment is made on the BBC, they adapt a nanny-state regime because they're scared of an
onslaught of self-righteous letters and e-mails, and meaningless
critiques from right-wing newspapers.

What's more surprising is that Mark Thompson has survived countless scandals
within the corporation and kept his job as director general,
yet his predecessor was forced to resign after the findings of
an independent inquiry went out of the corporation's favour.

And all because a journalist from the Today programme hinted that
the then Prime Minister was a manipulative idiot.

The broadcasting world would certainly be a better place, if the BBC and
other organisations adapted the responding-to-a-complaint method
as mentioned by John Myers himself, in the below audio
taken from The Radio Academy Podcast.



Which goes to show that there are far worse things to worry about
beyond broadcasting.

Soundcloud And Smell

Today's been busier than most others of recent.

The day itself was mainly spent arranging my Soundcloud page, where
I've put together a selection of audio that I've done over the years,
including a fair bit of stuff I've done this year.

That's not to say that it's a replacement for my website altogether,
far from it.

You've got to make yourself known wherever possible these days,
and Soundcloud's usage in the last couple of years has only increased.

There will be more to come on there, mark my words.

This evening it was over the UKC Campus on what will probably be
my last booze outing with the CSR team for this year.

Well, I said that last week so who knows.

Seriously, it was a birthday do of sorts for Daryl the head of speech
and fellow comedy nerd and it was good to see his co-presenter
Shona, producer Jon, and Mel and Lynsey there as well.

I did get rather tipsy and headed home before 10pm to catch
tonight's This Is England '88 which played a big part in crashing Twitter.

I won't give anything away, but it's put me on a short-term downer of sorts
and I'm not complaining.

Very gripping stuff, if not as harrowing as '86 but I'm sure episode
three will bring things to an interesting climax.

No idea what I'm doing tomorrow apart from watching the final episode,
although I'm a bit disapointed it's on at the same time as Sounds Of The 20th
Century, this week revisiting 1987.

Let's hope we get to hear Rick Astley as he should sound.

Bring On The Walls

Catching up was the main activity spent today, with particular interest
on last night's Only Connect Wall Night on BBC Four.

It involved two shows split over last night devoted entirely to
the Connecting Wall round from the fiendish quiz, and a knockout
contest to determine who was best with a innovative twist
of the final two teams competing on the same wall as each other.

Only hardcore Only Connect buffs will be able to make sense
of the above paragraph, but surely this is the first time a gameshow
has devoted not one, but two shows to just one particular round.

It has you wondering why A Question Of Sport has never done a whole
show of Mystery Guests, and why Blockbusters never did a whole
show of Gold Runs although there's probably a few good reasons
regarding the latter.

At least they don't make the contestants on Only Connect battle
the Connecting Walls in pitch black under just a spotlight.

Overall it was more enjoyable than I thought it would be and
I hope it's not the last of such wall tournaments.

In between both episodes I had a gander at the New Faces documentary
on BBC 2 also on last night, what could be referred to as series
of cautionary tales for anyone wanting to enter a TV talent show
or breaking into fame overall.

It was based on the finalists of the 1986 series of New Faces,
the first of three produced by Central in the 1980s, where one of the
competitors profiled was Yorkshire comic Billy Pearce.

Pearce has stuck in my mind from his "starring role" on the BBC's
short-lived alleged comedy sketch show You Gotta Be Jokin',
as well getting him confused with Freddie Starr.

Possibly because they're both dreadfully unfunny.

Most of those on the documentary came across well and were open
about there downfalls, but one in particular was deluded into thinking
that the entertainment path was the only one to follow, and therefore not
even thinking of getting a proper job because "it's boring".

No time like the present, and I'll shortly be heading over to the Beercart
in Canterbury where Ted Dibiase are back performing a set.

Maybe this time I'll get a few photos of them.

Dropping Off In December

It's never perfect.

Despite three visits into Canterbury today, I still resorted to having a lie down
in the middle of the day, and on waking up I thought it was the middle of
the night taking into account it's now getting dark at bleeding 4 in the afternoon.

Either I'm not being productive enough, or Canterbury really is that dull.

It wasn't all bad however as earlier this morning I went over
to the Catching Lives centre not too far from the East Station
to discuss possible volunteering work and I'm hoping that will
get off the ground.

I've just finished watching episode two of Charlie Brooker's Black Mirror
and it's made me sympathise with those who enjoy using social networking
sites, but cannot bear it when the one topic of conversation is a TV
talent show.

15 Million Merits probed into a fantasy vision of the future where
idiotic entertainment is a mainstay of everyday life and didn't
look too inaccurate judging by the way technology is continuing to develop.

The acting was really good too, but it was a shame Julia Davies was
given little dialogue, in her role as a judge for the fictitious talent show
"Hot Shot".

The final episode should be just as enjoyable, penned by Jesse Armstrong
so hopefully it will overshadow what I thought was his rather disappointing
series Fresh Meat of which I'm seemingly the only one to have such an opinion.

That said, I reckon Black Mirror itself will be overshadowed by the anticipated
This Is England 88 starting tomorrow evening.

Musical Muffins

What an anti-climax.

I'm so glad that my radio show has gone out on Sunday evenings
over the last two years as it means I only have to endure half of
The X Factor Final each year.

Yet why do I even punish myself in the first place?

I'll never work that one out for certain.

You know it comes to a point where Coldplay's performance outshone
both the "winner's singles" even if Chris Martin did look sheepish
when Dermot O'Leary asked him if he watched the show.

Hopefully the key-changed "Cannonball" won't be representative
of what Little Mix have to offer when they finally get round to
releasing their own material, and I'm sure they'll be the first
to break the curse of the winner doing worse in the long run than
the runners up.

More importantly, tonight was also my final Blam Jam show of 2011
and I was enthusiastic, without going over the top I hope.

I'll have to grab it off the log tomorrow morning to hear for myself.

Tune wise it wasn't too bad, with one such offering being another one
from Scott Bradlee, this time given "Tik Tok" the Einstein treatment.

That would be my ideal Christmas number one.

Maiden Moshing

I am rather cream-crackered after attending the first of two performances
this month by Ted Dibiase and The Million Dollar Punk Band, which
tonight took place at the Maiden's Head.

It was the first time I've seen the band perform with Lee and Stuart
wearing suits, although drummer Aaron stuck to his usual apparel.

But despite the dapper appearance, it didn't stop Lee thrashing
his way into the audience during one of the songs, resulting in my
jacket getting covered in beer.

As expected I felt rather knackered before the end of the night,
so I headed back before it got too raucous. Although I'll be seeing
the band again this coming Tuesday at The Beercart, where by the end
of then I may be verging on deaf.

Now that's worrying.

Just a shame it didn't happen tonight quite frankly as I'm on
the verge of watching the first leg of the X Factor Final, and am
doing by best to avoid all the social networking tabs in my browser
before then.

I'll probably post my thoughts in the next blog post, when I'll
be in a better productive state than I am now.

Accurate Duplicating

My final visit this year to the Canterbury And District Recorder happened
this afternoon where I managed to get the talking newspaper recorded
and duplicated onto the USB sticks.

The readers this week weren't half open to discussing the stories
they felt strongly about, so it was a case of making sure their
own thoughts weren't caught on microphone!

I hope to be doing more of the same in the new year, unless I
manage to succeed in getting a proper job.

A lie-in beckons tomorrow, unless James Waters wants me to
stand in for him on CSR tomorrow morning, which he would have
texted me in advance if was the case.

I'm just hoping it is, as I'm don't think I could cope with
a rude awakening as such just hours beforehand.

Then again, if I was a paid radio presenter or producer in such
a position, I'd have to step too it.

One thing that's definitely happening tomorrow is the return of
Ted Dibiase And The Million Dollar Punk Band to the Maiden's Head
as one of the opening acts for the Christmas Punk Party.

I'd see this as a warm up to the weekender in February where
both TDMDPB, Belinda Carbuncle, and Kunt And The Gang will be
playing.

That said, there's two more gigs for Dibiase's Lee, Stuart and Aaron as they're
at The Beercart next Tuesday, and opening for Tyrannosaurus Alan
at the Cherry Tree in January.

I'll be sick of the site of them before long, which will definitely be
a reminder of when I was with them at college.

Nah, it will be a good laugh.

Progressions And Postcode

The second group meeting at Shaw Trust this morning was very useful,
and dare I say gave me the best advice at C.V. writing that I should have
realised far too long before.

That being a C.V. is a potential opening to an interview, rather than the
job itself, and it's best not to go into too much detail.

I think I'm gradually starting to become more open about job searching
and during a one to one with an advisor I pointed out that cold-calling
overall was one of my biggest struggles and they were very keen to help me
gain more confidence in that area.

Especially as I did what I could to avoid doing so during
practical University assignments.

The working world is tough, getting into it is even more so, but the difference
with the Shaw Trust and anyone else I've looked to for advice is that
they give constructive suggestions, rather than wanting to put me down
to the point of being discouraged.

To be fair, the latter point only really relates to other Uni students
who have given me a negative perspective, but the real reason they do
so is because they're scared.

We all are.

Scared for surviving in a prestigious position or job of their own,
because in all honesty, no one looks out for anyone but number one.

Searching aside, tonight saw the final episode of Postcode and it
was the first time I watched it live on iPlayer, where thankfully it was
topped and tailed by presenter Iain Stirling in a dignified manner.

I thought the episode itself however was rather slow in pace compared
to the others, with only really one plot being focused on, that being
Jamal's appeal to prevent his family being deported back to Somailia.

We never found out what happened to Zac and his family after
having to sell the house or if the two criminals who threw a brick
at the shop window were caught.

Then again, in the hopeful situation of Postcode getting a longer
series, I'm sure it will be resolved but on the plus side it gives the
viewer the opportunity to imagine their own ending.

Unlike for example, the final series of My Parents Are Aliens with
a completely new family that should never have even happened at all.

It seems I can't let go of some things.

The Last Boozy Social Of '11

Tonight's been pretty good.

My last night out this year with the CSR team, and Manchester United
getting knocked out of this season's Champion's League.

We all gathered together in Woody's, a University bar on the Kent
campus that I've never been to before, and if it wasn't for meeting
Daryl, Shona and their "Producer John" beforehand, I'd have been
stumped with regards to the whereabouts.

At around 10 everyone else headed to the Venue nightclub,
whilst I headed back home.

I know I'm getting old if I can't see fit to clubbing.

Overall it was a great way to round off what has been a predominantly
superb year at CSR, and although I've said it many times, it's all down
to Media Co-ordinator Mel Lewis for having a big hand into changing
the station's reputation on both UKC and Christ Church by a long way.

Having socials for the station at least once a month is just one
such achievement and the turn-outs just keep getting better every time.

That said, I've still got one more show to go this Sunday, unless
James Waters wants me to cover for him again if he hasn't recovered.

In store tomorrow is another visit to Shaw Trust for a job meeting,
and then on Friday I'm making my last visit of the year to the
Canterbury and District Recorder which despite a few false starts
has been very productive over the last year.

I'm hoping to be more productive come 2012, provided I don't get
my hopes up too high like I did this time last year.

Again to quote Morrissey "These Things Take Time".

Still Not Wanting To Grow Up

Almost a year after BBC Switch made it's more than timely departure,
CBBC has attempted to break out of it's 6-12 year old comfort zone
with Postcode, a drama reflecting the gritty and tough lives of
teenagers from different backgrounds who live in the same area
and have to deal with the rather nasty gangs frequenting it.

Grange Hill (especially the later years), this isn't.

It may have taken five years, but it now appears that CBBC are
capable of producing more serious dramas to match that of
the 7/7 drama That Summer Day although like said drama,
that may be down to it being written by a writer not normally
associated with writing for younger viewers.

What surprised me even more was that the series was produced
by The Foundation, a production company I've not been to keen on,
if the fact that they made Dani's House is anything to go by.

Having watched the first episode on iPlayer, I wouldn't know if
Iain and Hacker in the CBBC Office introduced it with the reverence
needed.

With the remaining episodes airing nightly up to Thursday,
it will be interesting to see how it all progresses and again,
despite being almost twice the age of the target audience,
I think it's got promise.

Observer Article

Connected With Coren

An otherwise understated TV event has just taken place, but it's
probably best that it remains that way.

A less cryptic description would be the Only Connect Grand Final for
Series 5, where a team of analysts won what was a rather tough
contest with regards to the questions that were set.

I did play along online with the Connecting Wall however, and
got one right before those on the telly did, although to be fair
it was a connection related to Blaxploitation movies.

Next week there's a special devoted entirely to the Connecting Wall
round so I'll make it an appointment to view.

Although in all fairness, anything with Victoria Coren is an appointment
to view, or listen in the case of her Radio 4 series Heresy.

Prior to tonight's final, I watched the first episode of Charlie Brooker's
anthology series from last night and I was rather impressed, despite
initial doubts.

My worries were that it would be too knowing to the point of smug,
but it tackled the dominating nature of social networking and video
sites on society spot on.

Really looking forward to the next episode spoofing a talent show,
ironically broadcast against the X Factor final.

An Hour Of Ahmed

I really enjoyed my second to last radio show tonight at CSR for 2011,
where the second hour consisted of one long mix of tunes
by Ahmed Sirour with my incomprehensible speech reserved only
for topping and tailing the hour itself.

If it works for Jeremy Vine, then it can work anywhere else
and I may start adapting that technique of presenting for
future shows.

Only joking mind.

The tracklisting can be found via my Blam Jam blog which I've
started updating again, partly on the basis that tonight is almost
two years to the day since the show started on CSR.

I've already sorted out the tracklisting for next week's show which
will be a best of 2011 review, although 90% of the tracks I've
got lined up are ones that I haven't even played on the show before.

There's been a lot of good stuff released throughout the year
for certain, you just have to look that extra bit further, or listen
longer in my case.

I arrived home more than just in time to see Misha B booted
from The X Factor, leaving once again, a rather potent line-up ahead
of the final.

Sadly, it means we have to endure multiple "My Little Muffins"
introductions from Tulisa.

"W*nk You Very Much"

The anticipated return of Kunt And The Gang to Canterbury's Maiden's Head
took place tonight which as expected sped by.

The turn out was impressive, perhaps a bit too crowded as the
occasional mosh took place although no one got seriously hurt.

The sound set-up was a tad disappointing however, due to the use of
a Tascam multitrack cassette recorder, instead of the computer used
as normal.

In fact one of the guys looking after the sound engineering happens
to be a presenter at CSR, hosting the Reggae Turns show on Wednesday
night and I had a chat with him prior to the main performance and
during the non-existant warm-up set from Belinda Carbuncle.

After Kunt had performed I immediately purchased a copy of his
new Christmas album with a few honest ditties about the much
maligned time of year.

I bought it on the basis that they were the funniest songs of the
night, but when attending a music based comedy gig, it's always
the case that you piss yourself at songs you've never heard before
and sing along with the ones you have.

The night's not quite over as I've got The X Factor to catch up
with, although I'm fully aware of the non-story of the night
of Dougie from McFly (let's face it, he should adapt that as his real name)
has won I'm A Celebrity 2011.

I may not be ready for bed just yet, but that show is surely the opposite
of my current situation.

"I Wanted A Record Deal, But I Was Too Rude"

I'm rather knackered after my early start this morning, almost to the
point of falling asleep in the bath tub.

The radio show itself went fairly well, but I need to get into
the habit of writing notes in advance, or adhere to the "one thought,
one link" procedure of doing things.

If I've planned out a link in my head over a long period of time,
then goodness knows that I am only going to fuck it up when
actually doing it live on-air.

Not to worry mind, as I'm back doing what I'm better suited to
tomorrow evening, with one hour of the show almost free of me talking
altogether.

That's because I've put together a set of tunes all produced or remixed
by Ahmed Sirour who has been consistent throughout the year, bringing
back a full-on orchestral flow to soul music.

Here's hoping for more in 2012.

As for tonight, things will be taking a not so pleasant musical direction
as Kunt & The Gang return to the Maiden's Head to play a set of not so
subtle songs including a fair few from the new album "Hurry Up And Suck Me Off
Before I Get Famous".

Whether "Mr Tupppence" will end up taking the same direction in fame
as Peter Kay is questionable, but if one things for certain, Kunt has
far more albums than Kay has sitcoms.

Escaping From The Lie In

The weekend ahead gradually appears to be getting busier as tomorrow
morning between 9 and 11am I'll be presenting Saturday's breakfast show
on CSR, covering for James Waters as his throat has got the better of him.

Why Waters wanted me to fill in is anyone's guess, but there's
no denying that I share his enthusiasm for "overproduced, low budget,
local radio".

I'm not sure what I'll have on offer, but I can guarantee it won't
be as cringey as this outing from a few weeks ago, involving
a personalised name CD for children being played on air.

No, no, in fact I have something far worse than that planned,
involving entertainment figures performing acts which they would
now prefer to forget.

Which leads nicely on to a new podcast from nostalgia expert
and writer Louis Barfe called "The BO Problem" where alongside
Matt Owen, the pair discuss witty anecdotes mainly about pop culture
from the past.

Subjects in the first podcast include a disco record by erstwhile
ITN newsreader Reginald Bosanquet of all people, and a hilarious
predicament of Shane Richie hosting a revival of Jim'll Fix It
this coming Christmas.

It's to an acquired taste, but those interested in the topics discussed
will find it side-splitting, and I mean belly laughs in places.

I'd best not have too much of a late night prior to tomorrow.

Taking The "Crack" Out Of "Cracker"

For those lamenting BBC 1's Christmas trail, believe me,
as the spirit of television presentation past I assure you
that it's not the worst.

That honour would possibly go to the CBBC team in 1998, and
their seasonal promotion featuring Otis dressed as a cracker,
performing a rendition of the Bouncing Czech's festive flop
"I'm A Little Christmas Cracker".

I'm pretty certain all the presenters in that clip would look back
on that with irony, especially Richard McCourt now one half of
the anarchic Dick And Dom who both have a habit of ridiculing
their CBBC past in Studio 9.

The Bouncing Czechs original happened to be a favourite of
former Radio 1 DJ Gary Davies, who on the day before his timely
departure, played the record itself on air.

Whether it was in a bitter vein or not, it pretty much makes DLT's
on-air resignation sound defensible.

One things for certain, the only thing coming close to a Christmas song
that I'll play on my own radio show is this rather impressive offering
from Cool Million.

85 Revived

It hasn't been too exciting today, save for sorting out more
radio related stuff.

Tomorrow on the other hand should be the reverse, what with another
edition of Trevor Dann's SOTTC on Radio 2 tomorrow evening,
where they've finally reached the year of my birth.

So I should expect to hear tunes from Dead Or Alive, Paul Hardcastle,
and Feargal Sharkey in there.

The BBC Xmas press release has been issued online, but at the
risk of sounding like an old bastard, I refuse to bat an eyelid until
reading the Christmas Radio Times.

That still remains one of the most exciting times of year, and
reading it all on a web browser just doesn't have the same charm
as off of a physical copy.

I'd best make the most of it before RT is sold off.

Bandwagons Per Minute

I finally managed to discover a function on Adobe Audition that I wish
I had found years ago, that being the option to have the on-screen
timer counting the beats per minute rather than minutes and seconds.

There's also the option to change the number of BPMs (or should
that be BsPM?) on the multitrack rule, an option which I thought
was exclusive just to ProTools, but it appears there's more to Audition
than meets the eye.

And I'm still using version 1.5 which must be about 8 years old by now.

Editing software aside, life in general is still pretty dull, with the pop
band-wagon of reunions still showing no signs of stopping with
rumours of an S Club reunion.

I never had anything against the band, but with the Steps reunion just
months ago, the current "inferior" Toys R Us advert is ringing true.

A generation who just "don't won't to grow up".

This coming from an individual who purchased a selection of Look-In
magazines from 1989 on eBay yesterday.

The Cheesecake Trilogy

Entertainment earlier today was provided by Rich Hall's recent BBC Four
documentary Continental Drifters, a personal probe into the evolution
of the road trip movie.

Anyone who enjoyed the Dirty South one-off from last year won't
be disappointed as Hall's un-compromising look into the best and worst
films of the genre proved both entertaining and informative, even if
like me you haven't seen many films from said genre.

Without giving too much away, highlights included the many digs
at Jeremy Clarkson, an explanation as to why there have been
no "serious" British road movies, and a rant about the Star Wars
franchise, substituting the Star Wars brand name for cheesecake
of all things.

Overall it pretty much gave me a greater idea as to why I don't drive,
although part of that is also because there are better things for
me to blow my money on.

Well, things that are more to my liking but aren't actually that
useful.

Still, only live once.

No idea what I'm doing tomorrow, with the only thing really worth
looking forward to this week being Tuppence And The Gang
coming back to the Maiden's Head on Saturday.

Dead As A Devlin

I went into Canterbury this lunchtime to do the Christmas shopping with
Concha, and am now feeling rather smug about getting it all sorted.

Concha seemed rather keen of buying presents in a jokey, getting-your-own
back vein, but I resisted the temptation, even if Olly has sent Mum and Dad
a load of rubbish in the mail this year, with his greetings cards and so on.

We then went for lunch at ASK where as always I had a superb
penne al pollo de la cassa, and ideal for the not so warm temperatures.

I was on a bit of a downer after getting home and finding out
about Gary Speed, almost forgetting what time of day it was
after waking up from a lie down, but luckily it was an hour before
having to turn up for tonight's radio show where I was a bit on edge
it must be said.

I'm a bit better now, after seeing Janet Deadlin getting booted
from The X Factor, where the show is now in a position where any
of the acts are ones I'd personally see as success stories.

A lot more than those taking part in I'm A Celebrity, which I gave
up on almost a week ago as I'm just not warming to any of them
and it's becoming lazy and repetitive as a whole.

In short, there's just no one on there who I want to see winning,
and the shit stirring looks very contrived and knowing.

On a more positive note, there have been good results at
the BAFTA Children's Awards taking place tonight with
Horrible Histories winning best comedy, wildlife show Deadly 60
just beating Helen Skelton's tightrope attempt to Best Factual,
and last December's revival of Just William winning Best Drama.

A series that was not given a fair run in the schedules, but then
again I was in a more celebratory mood with the recent axing
of Shooting Stars, dropped for similar "logistical" reasons.

(Searching For A Clean "Old Kent Road" Pun)

Well, today yet again was a washout.

What was meant to be a pub crawl ended up being a long walk down
the Old Kent Road and travelling back by bus, as I couldn't
find the protagonists anywhere in Lewisham, despite sending out
text messages.

The main do is actually happening later on at a specially
reserved pub, but the idea of staying in London alone for hours on end
wasn't enough to tempt me, let alone having to get the last train
back to Canterbury nearing midnight.

I really should think things through properly, rather than taking
the "deep end" solution.

So that more or less means one last Saturday in front of the X Factor
with the Twitteratti providing live commentary, and finishing off what
was actually a rather nice bol from last night.

I accidentally put too much paprika into it, so maybe I'll adapt that
method for a short while.

In the long run I'm becoming more concious of my visits to London,
especially as most of them this year have been comedowns to put it
nicely.

With two coming up in December, I'll reluctantly forgo the recording
of Victoria Coren's Radio 4 panel show as it's being recorded
in South London and...

Well, most of my outings south of the river this year have been rather
depressing, today included.

Unintentionally Awake

The effects of my drinking intake last night are beginning to have some
sort of effect on me, by messing about with my head and connecting
thoughts together that shouldn't be connected.

Being up at stupid o'clock doesn't help either, and I'm pretty certain
that I doubt I'll be able to last the whole hog of the planned London
outing later today.

I've double checked the train times and it looks as if that the last train
I have to get to ensure getting back before 1am is to get the 10:20.

However there's an awful lot spiralling inside my head, and once
that's cleared it will make things a lot easier to deal with.

I've become a really bad lightweight this year, although on the plus
side, it's cutting down on the cash spending.

A Bit Too Merry?

A CSR social was in order of tonight's proceedings, this time at Mungo's
bar on the University of Kent campus.

We had a visit from an old stalwart of the station, that being
Andrew Venning former head of music and station manager, who's
popped back to Canterbury to attend a mate's graduation.

Also present was another ex-head of music Peter, who finally
got round to uploading the video highlights of our Lounge On The Farm
outside broadcast, which I'll go as far as saying is the best O/B I have
ever participated in.

Not least for James Waters' constant playing of old Radio 1 jingles,
namely the Phillip Schofield namecheck.

I stuck around until about 9, when the resident DJ started spinning
the disks at perhaps too loud a volume for my liking.

There was a really good turnout of current members as well,
a cause for plenty of drunken behaviour not least from head of
speech Daryl, and new Friday breakfast show host Dan who
insisted on endless refrains of "Wherever You May Go" by The Calling,
and "Step Into Christmas" by Elton John.

Annoying as it was, I joked that it sounded like a station music demonstrator
performed live, and as soon as I got home, I "realised" the concept and
the result can be heard below.



Yes it is rather embarrassing, not least because it breaks the
many a rule of demonstrators by changing the backbeat without warning,
and including two songs by the same artist.

I very much doubt that will actually get played on air considering
the "in-jokey" nature of it all.

Early start tomorrow, heading to South London for Martin Perret's
leaving do.

I'm pretty certain there will be a few new faces present, but as long
as it's raucous enough, I should have a good time.

Possible Job Progression?

I'm in another of those moods where I'm bloody well full up.
Well, for about 10 minutes and I get a craving for raspberry cheesecake.

Today I went on the first day of a course with the aim being to
help me get back into work, and it was well structured and looks
as if it will be very helpful as it goes along.

Not having to travel that far from the house is helpful too.

The course itself lasts three months with lectures split every two
weeks so I'm presuming the one on the 8th of December
will be the last before Christmas.

Actually that will more than likely be the case as I'm away on the 22nd
at the holiday house, but as long as I tell them in advance it should be fine.

Jumping On Absolute Radio's Bandwagon

As far as radio shows go, I'm pretty much sorted for the rest of the year
with the last three on CSR before Christmas all in running order.

There's quite a lot of music from the year gone by that I've reluctantly
removed from the final show of 2011, by turning it into a programme
showcasing "the ones that got away", a selection of superb soulful offerings
that I haven't actually yet played on Canterbury's airwaves.

One LP I was not so reluctant to give the heave-ho on the other
hand was Cliff Richard's "Soulicious", an uninspiring selection
of soul "standards" with established and respected vocalists,
but at the end of the day it's still bloody grimacing Cliff, whatever.

None worse than this run of the mill cover of Womack And Womack's
"Teardrops", proving that Candi Staton can do worse than allow her song
"You Got The Love" to be changed countless times beyond recognition
from how it was 25 years ago.

As for a more superior cover of "Teardrops" look no further than
Joey Negro's impressive take on the Lovestation cover from the late 90s.