What may be my last blog post of 2011, and it's been an interesting year at
that.
I imagine one thing I've got my head round is that being overly optimistic
is one thing, but desperately optimistic is another.
If there's one thing not to assume, it's that all woes will disappear in an
instant at the turn of a year.
I couldn't have been more wrong this time twelve months ago
when anything and anyone could frustrate me,
and I dealt with it in completely the wrong way.
Radio still played a big part in my life for the wrong reasons, where
petty politics got in the way of just getting on with it.
I was still missing the old University radio crowd so it was a blessing
of sorts when I was asked to help out with a new radio station in Folkestone
that would be run by two familiar faces, them being a lecturer and a
student who I graduated with.
For some reason or other, it just didn't seem to be working, and I didn't
know where I stood, as if I showed an interest in a particular area, or
presenting a particular show, I would be frowned upon.
That and my uncertainty over CSR caused me to snap one afternoon
in May of this year and I was driven back home from Folkestone and
I felt very depressed.
It resulted in me being absent from my CSR show for three weeks
including on my birthday where instead of presenting my Blam Jam show
I was upstairs in my room watching the film Pinocchio.
Animation was my way of recovering, with a more contemporary
viewing being this years South Park mid-season finale "You're Getting Old"
where I felt like the direct double of Stan.
The use of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide" at the end of the episode was
inspired, and more than certainly had me thinking.
I was convinced at the time that I didn't have a future in radio.
I shortly realised that I did, it just wouldn't be in Folkestone.
I had to accept that others around me would never change,
but that didn't mean I'd be the same.
Like Stan Marsh, I felt like I was getting older myself, as I was travelling
to London less, going to fewer gigs, and on the nights when I did
go out, I would go home when everyone else would go to a nightclub.
Even if it did mean severing links with others, it didn't upset
me too much.
I'm surprised I managed to get the work placement at Folded Wing
earlier in the Summer as when I went for the initial interview in mid May
I was still rather down in the dumps.
I must have done well to disguise that, and the placement itself
split over two weeks in June and August respectively, turned out
to be very motivating, working with people who clearly love
radio and music, but didn't feel the need to bitch about differing tastes.
On returning to CSR in June, I became more involved than ever
helping out with events, presenting a drivetime show throughout the
summer and best of all, having a hand with the station sound.
I was actually enjoying myself there, and making more friends within it all.
It's not good to name names but a lot of this would be down the newly
appointed Media Co-Ordinator Mel, a very encouraging woman, and someone
who actually knows a thing or two about radio.
I reckon that's passed through everyone, as a large number of those
involved at CSR now seem to actually care about their shows and
the station, which I have not seen in a radio environment for a very long time.
Best of all have been the socials that have taken place in many
a boozer in Canterbury, which seem to get bigger and bigger in terms
of attendance.
And it seems there's no such thing as a comfort zone, as Mel and
station manager Ryan want to take them further afield next year
with a possible trip to Brighton lined up.
However despite my involvement in the station, it doesn't seem
to be taking over my life thankfully.
I'm more determined about what I would like to do in radio, and
having spent a fair amount of money on audio production libraries
this Christmas, the determinism won't fade out for some time.
But I need to be realistic, and am trying to make more effort to
find a proper job beforehand, and with a bit of extra help I'll
be able to manage any further knockbacks.
I'm also starting to do whatever it takes to avoid "moanerz"
in fear that I have become my own victim.
Those on social networking websites, and media discussion forums
who have dated, idiotic, and dare I say prehistoric views on certain areas.
Wanting things to go back to how they were in 1985 and all
that bollocks.
I've learnt that it's good to have a nostalgic wallow now and again
but for too long I've let it take over my mindset into thinking
that everything in the present day is shit.
Absolute rubbish.
With regards to radio it's never been better, as there are so many
platforms online for people to make their own shows.
And having spent so much money on audio production packages
it would be an idea to put them to good use, so hopefully
by the end of 2012 I'll have my own radio exploit that's entirely
in my hands RE creativity.
But then again, who said I was creative?
Most important of all, it's best not to make long term plans at
the start of the new year, or any time at all for that matter as
they'll inevitably go balls up.
And I wouldn't call this year a rubbish one at all as it's best to learn
things the hard way, knowing that you won't make the same mistakes
again.
No, no no, there's some newer ones to be made in 2012, and
I'll gradually recover from them.
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