High Def Easter

It's set to be quite an exhaustive, possibly stressful week ahead
so I've opted not to go up to Stowmarket with the rest of the family
for Easter to see Mum's extended family.

It's probably for the best as I was a bit of a sulk at Christmas,
but Auntie Alison's house isn't open space, like the one in 
Norfolk so it may not have been that bad.

Then again I'd still have to spend six hours travelling with
my family to and from Suffolk, so maybe I made the right decision.

Tonight was spent in front of the large flat screen television in the
front room, and Doctor Who looked rather impressive in HD.

Though it did look confusing suddenly changing from gritty film
picture quality to more glossy VT quality all of a sudden throughout
but I guess it's a warm up of sorts to the 3-D episode to celebrate the 
show's 50th anniversary in November.

Straight after that I switched over to Ant & Dec and it was
definitlely the right decision over The Voice, which even the last 
10 minutes I saw of after the Geordie jokers, was awkward enough.

The highlights of Ant & Dec's show were Michael Buble singing
"Let's Get Ready To Rhumble" and, rather predictable on my part,
a sneak preview of the new Catchphrase as part of Ant Vs Dec,
and save for the new host and 3-D graphics, nothing's really changed.

The noise of the buzzer remains, as does (unfortunately for me)
the rather scary sound when they run out of time in the
Ready Money Round or whatever they're calling it this time.

As it's going out on Sunday nights, I won't get to see it live,
so when Blam Jam's back next week I'll need to have all my
pulling power to distract listeners from the antics of Mr Chips.

Tomorrow I'm in Romford at Sandra C's Soul Sessions taking place
again at the Victoria pub where they've been given extended opening
hours until midnight.

Though I won't be able to stick around for that long as the last train
from Stratford International is at 10:45pm so I'll need to be speedy
and not get too bladdered.

All followed by a nervous wait prior to the SRA Conference taking
place from Tuesday.

Will I survive in the mini bus traveling there?

The Illustrative Sell?

It's hard going through life when the things you want to
progress happen very slowly.

At the moment I am trying to sort out supported housing to
help me move into my own accomodation, and trying
to find out where things stand in getting the audio blog
about my bipolar off the ground with a mental health charity.

Both are causing me anxiety, and trying to find a job
at the same time is making it even harder.

A temporary solution is having a lie down in the middle of the
day normally as a result of being really fed up, but the consequence
is that it has me struggling to sleep at night, and that's
what has resulted in me writing this blog post.

I'm hoping that this anxiety will be temporarily put on hold
on Saturday as I am attending the Soulbay event
in Westgate on Sea that night, and in a couple of weeks
I will be visiting the Student Radio Conference in Leicester.

Regarding the latter I'm hoping that I won't be forced
into doing anything I feel uncomfortable with, but also
I want to see people from other universities and stations
I have met before, and maybe share ideas and gain
advice on how to go further.

I spent yesterday night trying to design a more livelier
C.V  designed for possible radio employers and this is what I
have come up with so far.

























It's just a draft layout and I don't have any advanced design
software at present, but with a few changes, I hope this
will be effective and attention grabbing.

If anyone who is a whizz at either Photoshop or InDesign
could lend a me a hand a such, you'd be a star.

Sometimes a collaborative effort can be just the start of
a long term working relationship.

A Play Made Of Plasticine

I've never been a massive film fan.

I do have my favourites but with regards to it being
a regular habit, well, the last film I saw at the cinema was
The Muppets, and that was over a year ago.

However last night my sister lent me a DVD of Mary and Max,
an Australian claymation film about two penpals, one being
an 8 year old from Australia and the other being a middle
aged man from New York City.

I was drawn to watching it on the basis that it was animated,
and that one of the voices was Eric Bana, who I'd known from
the film Chopper.

Yes, I know he's done other stuff since, but anyway...

Both Mary and Max find it difficult to get along in the outside
world and it later turns out that Max has Asperger's Syndrome.

I won't give too much of it away but there were issues
that I can relate to directly in there, especially with Max's
anxiety attacks on reading the letters, which I seem to get
at least once a week when reading the status of someone else
on Twitter, whose success and achievement is too much for me to handle.

Overall it's an amazing picture, and one of many that has been
drowned in a pool of over-hyped nonsense.

Do give it a go if you ever get 90 minutes to spare.

Sofa Stupidity

I may be in a position where I have to save money cautiously,
but staying in on Saturday night is once again in fashion.

And when you've got Ant & Dec on the telly back to what they're
best at, it's assurance that you don't need any extra intoxication
to enjoy yourself.

Certainly not in my case as all I was drinking was the bottle
of Tesco fizzy orange during tonight's show.

It's not 100% brilliant all the way through, but it's worth sitting
through the "alrightish" bits as you'll be rewarded with a large
dosage of hilarity which in tonight's case was the pair's Undercover
wind up on Jeremy Kyle, on the set of the US version of his bear pit.

I won't give anything away but the host's reaction to the reveal
is probably the best I have seen on a hidden camera stunt, since
that of ex-Eastender Sophie Lawrence on Noel's House Party,
unleashing a scream higher than Minnie Riperton's register.

The finale to tonight's Takeaway was entertaining as well,
with the pair attempting to share the spotlight on a grand piano
accompanied by the Royal Philarmonic Orchestra.

That provided both warmth and amusement at the same time,
certainly more than the "intentionally unfunny" (?) presenting style
of Steve Jones and the contrived contestant sketches
of Let's Dance For Comic Relief which is starting to show signs of age.

There's an air with Ant & Dec that they know they're not funny sometimes
and that's what makes their show more entertaining.

Not least because they look like they're really enjoying themselves
on the show that they are the most proud of.

Disappearing Energy

The excitement has dissolved, the chaos has calmed down, general
mundane day-to-day life has returned.

I've hardly got anything planned this week, although I do have
a meeting soon with a woman who was really helpful a few
years ago in trying to help me find work, including getting me
a placement at Kent Enterprise House in Herne Bay.

Just finding something would be nice, if anything to take
my mind off the many Word documents I have listing the
expensive wants of my wishlists, and the struggle to decide
whether to save up for an iPad, or the latest version of 
Pro Tools.

Thankfully, a temporary break from such strains is taking
place on Saturday as Soul By The Jetty is back at the
Lobster Smack in Canvey Island and has once again
"souled out" looking set to be packed.

The following Sunday afternoon Sandra C has another
soul event at the Victoria in Romford, but I'll give that
one a miss this time round.

There will be many more chances to take a week off
from doing my live radio show later in the year.

When hopefully, I'll be less obsessed with what to
blow my bob on.

Staying Awake In The Attic

I've been in a rather crazy state over the last day or so,
as between midday on Thursday and the same time on
Saturday, I lent a hand to the goings on of a special 48 hour
broadcast for CSR FM at the Attic nightclub on the University Of
Kent campus.

I didn't stay the whole length, but those who were challenged
to do so were presenters Ryan Bartrop and Jess Martin
staying on air for 48 hours raising money for the Catching Lives
charity in Canterbury, for the cities homeless.

Not content with just being on the radio, the team from
KTV the university's television station were video streaming
the event and I don't think I've seen as much commitment
and energy from so many people over such a length of time.

Amongst my personal highlights were the special
edition of Take Me Out, Jess prancing about with a
hockey stick attempting to play Quidditch, and Alec
from the KTV team going outside half naked, singing
"I'm Too Sexy".

Here's what else we got up to;

Jessie's bear "Mr Snuggles".

The Kent Belly Dancing Society who made a guest
appearance during my show.

Sean gets rocking to The Darkness.

The Japanese drumming kept us awake.

 
















James Waters in his element, getting
everyone down to S Club.

The event as a whole managed to raise over £1000
and I'm hoping this is only the first of many cross
platform events from CSR, KTV and the Inquire
Newspaper taking all the action out of the radio
studio and on site.

It goes to show as a whole that nothing is impossible
and with a lot of hard work, amazing content can 
be produced, and credit to media co-ordinator
Mel Lewis for getting it all off the ground.

Well done everyone!

"Lovin' The Life" At The Clubhouse

The long-awaited Hustle night finally set sail at Ramsgate's Clubhouse
last night as organised by James Anthony and Soulbay legend
Micky B.

Quite a few familiar faces were present including Theresa B,
her partner Trevor, Alison, and Karen who I normally see at many
a soul event in Thanet.

 






























The highlight was a live PA from top British soul vocalist Noel McKoy who as well as performing a few cuts off his new album "Cut From The Same Cloth"
also gave his own amazing renditions of soul anthems including
"I Found Lovin", "Let's Stay Together" and "Lovely Day" to name just a few.

Best of all was when he gave a short adlibbed rendition of his
1993 hit with the James Taylor Quartet "Love The Life".

He even got going with the movers themselves, and overall the
set was a success.







































I spoke to Noel after the live set and as you'd expect I waxed lyrical on his latest album which despite not being due for release until April,
I'm featuring as my album profile on Blam Jam for February.


















I'll go as far as saying that the track "Love Is The Key" is my
favourite overall of 2013 so far.

Hopefully those who bought a copy of the disc last night will
be just as impressed as they were with his live performance.

Just before heading over, I was listening to Craig Charles on 
BBC 6 Music where he had a live Maida Vale session from another
top UK soul vocalist, Alice Russell, and a listener texted in asking
"why she wasn't more famous".

The same could be asked about Noel McKoy, but what also sprang
to mind was why he isn't asked to perform at events like
the Margate Soul Weekender, as he's certainly a cut above those
they had last year such as Light Of The World, and Ingrid from Freeez
who still appear to be trapped in their 80s Brit Funk bubbles.

And unlike the above acts, McKoy genuinely looked like he was loving
it, to the point of getting involved with the punters. 

The next Hustle event is set to take place on the 13th of April
which also happens to be the same night as the Brit Funk Gig
in Folkestone, which I'm guessing will be a similar state of 
affairs to Margate last year, I.E. a few acts who may have
had the charm back in the early 80s, but unlike their counterparts
Incognito, they've not really evolved since.

I'll probably end up staying in for both, as I need to save
some money, and there is such a thing as too much of a good time.

The 48 Fundraiser

Too many good guys have been departing this week, Cecil Womack
from Womack And Womack passed away, Reg Presley from the
Troggs died from a battle against cancer, and now it turns out
the amazing jazz trumpeter and bandleader Donald Byrd has
died as well.

It's had quite an impact on my playlist for my Blam Jam show
this Sunday, a lot to squeeze in but as always, that's what
makes it more fun.

Quite a busy time at CSR for me as tomorrow lunchtime
I'm covering for James Waters, possibly because he'll be recovering
from a post-dryathlon drinking spree.

Even more exciting is this coming Thursday where two of our
presenters Ryan and Jessie will be attempting to stay on air
for two whole days, broadcasting from the Attic club on the University
of Kent campus, and just about the whole of the station
will be on hand to help out.

I'll be presenting a special edition of Blam Jam between 10 and 11am
on the Friday and I'm currently trying to come up with tunes
that will keep Ryan and Jess awake as they near the halfway
stage of their challenge.

Its also going to be video streamed by the guys at KTV where
the highlight is set to be a special "Take Me Out" style event
as part of the University's RAG week.

Outside my radio antics, tomorrow evening I'm heading up to 
Ramsgate for what I hope will be the first of many Hustle nights
where I expect to see a few familiar faces enjoying the good
soulful stuff, and getting down with style.

They've even got a special guest PA from top UK soul vocalist
Noel McKoy, who's recently released album is one of my favourites
of the year so far.

Expect to see photos of the chaos posted here on Sunday.

De-Stressing With 6

It's still a rather uncertain time at present.

Yet I still fail to realise that stupid little things can be resolved
by just politely asking questions rather than going off one
one in a stress.

That's what happened on my appointment at Kennedy Scott
this morning, but thankfully they assured me that I didn't need
to stress myself over situations that didn't even exist
and they could possibly sort out a work placement in a quiet
working environment such as a library.

Thankfully they are understanding that I want to work
towards job finding on a one to one basis rather than in a
group, and if I go about things more calmer, then it won't
be a struggle as I constantly worry it is.

Away from search stresses, BBC 6 Music are counting down
their 100 Greatest Hits from the 10 plus years they have
been on air and there have been some belters so far,
Chemical Brothers' "Galvanise", Beastie Boys' "Ch-Ch-Check It Out",
and Underworld's underrated "2 Months Off" to name just three.

Fantastic "added value" material as well, the constantly updated online blog, and Soundcloud snippets of the rundown so far.
 
Either Hot Chip, or Outkast to take the top spot? 

Tuppence Takes The Mic

As promised, here's the audio I got from last night with Basildon's funniest.

Contains very strong language, and material of an adult nature.

Anarchy At The Pool Tables

The long awaited night at the Sittingbourne Snooker Club
finally arrived, as organised by the legends that are Ted Dibiase
and The Million Dollar Punk Band, with Tuppence and the Gang
headlining.

Rather than go on in detail about it (because I cannot remember
a thing in my current state) here's a few snapshots of all
the chaos;



















The Half Wits set the night off.

TDMDPB add to the anarchy.

Despite carrying a Zoom recorder, I still got attacked.




















The Commited.



















And the main man himself.

As pictured above I decided to make use of the Zoom Recorder
I have had "on loan" for the last 6 months and got actually,
not too bad sounding audio of most of the performances.

Tuppence was even legendary enough to give a brief interview
before his set which I may upload later.

It's a bit shit because of the acoustics etc, but for a first
go (and with a lack of notes in prep) I don't think it's too bad.

As far as minor celebrities go however, Tuppence wasn't the biggest
(to use the operative word) as former Pop Idol contestant and Celebrity Fat,
Sorry, Fit Club bottler Rik Waller made an entrance near the end
of the night.

I didn't ask for a photo with him, mind.

By now it had just gone 11, and I got the train back to Canterbury along
with the Half Wits, and a few of their friends from across the channel,
who were rather surprised at my smartphone soundboard
or more specifically the noise of the buzzer from Going For Gold,
as they recognized it from their own equivalent Questions Pour
Une Champion, that uses the same sound effect and is still running today.

To cut a long story short, we were pretty pissed and
made our way to the Lady Luck in Canters, where amongst other
things a couple of idiots mucking about outside ended up headbutting
and smashing a glass window, much to our hilarity.

A good time for me to leg it back to base where over the next
few days or so, I expect a comedown to slowly build.

Camden Under A Groove

I didn't have a single drink last night, yet I still feel fragile.

It turns out I didn't need a single drop to get me hyped
up last night at the Jazz Cafe where Incognito took to the
stage.

Performing amongst the 11-strong band were vocalists
Mo Brandis;
























Vanessa Haynes



















And the really sweet Natalie Williams.



















And not forgetting the musicians including keyboard
king Matt Cooper,


















and Francesco on drums with a fantastic percussion
section who gave a more than energetic solo halfway
through the set.



















The setlist was slightly different from the usual fare
including a few Cog classics that haven't been done
live for a long time such as "100 And Rising", "Step Into My Life",
and probably best of all "It's Just One Of Those Things"
from 2005's "Eleven" album.

We did get a few of the old favourites including
"Always There", and "Still A Friend of Mine" where
halfway through the latter, Bluey took the lead, and
the musicians swapped places including drummer
Francesco performing a bass solo that put Mark King to shame.


















"Level 41"


















The venue itself was packed to a point that it encouraged
behaviour to the extent of this;




















This was near the end of the performance where as
expected, the band came back for to more songs in
the encore, them being "Reach Out", and an amazing
finale with "Everyday" and yes, Vanessa did do her
air-raid siren halfway through.

Overall a top night, great to have the Cog back at the
Jazz Cafe and if it's the only gig of theirs I turn out at
this year, what an amazing one it was.

The Cog Return To Camden

London is my destination again tonight as I attend my annual
staple of seeing Incognito perform live, tonight returning after
five years to the intimate surroundings of the Jazz Cafe.

The vocal line-ups relatively the same from the last time
I saw them in London at the Islington Assembly Hall, though
hopefully it will be a more relaxed state of affairs and there
won't be any guest appearances, as far as I'm aware.

I'm hoping we get to hear live versions of tracks from
the most  recent album "Surreal" as well as the usual live
favourites such as "Colibri", "Still A Friend Of Mine", and 
an hopefully a chance for me to jump up and down to
"Expresso Madueira".

Performing with Bluey tonight are vocalists Mo Brandis,
Natalie Williams and Vanessa Haynes, and Vanessa in
particular is one to watch for as when performing lead
on "Everyday", she suddenly turns into an air-raid siren.

To prove I'm not exaggerating, here's one such wail.

I'm not sure if I'll bump into any familiar faces tonight,
as many of them will be at tomorrow night's Cog gig,
but on the plus side I know that the band finishes around
10:30pm so I'll have plenty of time to get back to Canterbury.

As for tomorrow night itself, I'm at the Sittingbourne snooker
club for Ted Diabiase's first promotional event where the band
themselves will be playing as one of the warm up acts
for headliners Tuppence and the Gang.

Let the crazy times commence.

Yet Another Sugary Liquid Comedown

Tuesday's are always my least favourite day of a typical week
I soldier through.

To be fair they're just like any other weekday but I feel my
most awkward and in this case I just don't want to talk to anyone
or try and raise the slightest of smiles.

I attempted to brush off my melancholy state last night by
attending a station meeting for CSR radio members, and 
I must admit 2013 does look promising with a 48 hour
broadcast in February, and the Keynestock broadcast in May.

That said, in spite of a visit to the Orion bar afterwards which
providing some laughs to a point, I still felt mellow which may
be a comedown after the Worldwide Awards on Saturday.

I have ongoing thoughts worrying that I embarrassed everyone
there by being too enthusiastic, but that's always the case
with things if I've really had a good time.

I'll be honest. I am always worried about how other people,
especially those who I look up to perceive me, when they're
probably not fussed at all.

Not in a negative or careless way, but they're too occupied
with other things to even let it dent them.

It may be a case of me slowly learning to stop being scared.
 
Things may pick up by Thursday as we've got a visitor coming to
talk about the possibilities of maybe moving into my own property
away from my parents.

That could be a possible solution, but whatever happens I'm not
sure if I'll ever be in a position to stop feeling scared about 
what's to come.

I have Word documents outlining audio packages and equipment
I want to buy, that I believe will be the cure to my melancholiness
but having to pay off a credit card bill is delaying me to
an extent.

"Let The World See The Wide!"

A radio show I've listened to on and off for over 10 years,
and only now have I finally attended the annual Gilles Peterson
Worldwide Awards

I made sure I was there right from the beginning
to catch some amazing performances from The Greg Foat Group,
and up and comer Nick Mulvey.



































As the night quickly progressed the beats got heavier
with sets from DJ Romare and the amazing Mala in Cuba,
as pictured below;

















and it was at this stage that a fair few familiar faces started
to arrive, namely Jim Lister from Folded Wing who I hadn't
seen for ages.

Even better, the woman behind the company itself soon
showed up not long after, the ever amazing Karen P
who if it wasn't for her, the Worldwide Awards may not even
have even become the annual event it is.






















Karen showed up with her husband Matt who hails
from the nearby Medway towns and he's a really lovely fella.

You know what Matt, you've made a lucky escape to London.

Karen, Matt and their friends arrived in time for a brilliant performance
by Natalie Duncan in tribute to Terry Caliier, and what I'd
anticipated to be the highlight of the night, Lifetime Achievement
winner Marcos Valle who's set was preceded by a brilliant VT
showcasing his work that nearly had me in tears.

Not least as it included the tune "Ele E Ela", as sampled by
Jay-Z on "Thank You", and I swear the chords on that were
the direct inspiration for my favourite Incognito tune.

Or is that just me?

Here's the man himself, and much to my delight
"Parabens" was included in the set.

By now Karen had headed up to the VIP area, but thankfully
one of her friends Andreya managed to get me access to the
top floor where I managed to get shots of acts such as
Neneh Cherry;

Nai Palm from the Best Breakthrough Act
Haitus Kaiyote.

And a highlight of the night, The Invisible.


















I also got a few other photos including one with Andreya
herself, who I swear is a direct double of erstwhile
presenter of ITV's Ghost Train, Sabra Williams.



















Prompting me in this photo with Matt and Karen
to perform the infamous hand movement from said
Saturday morning show;

"Ooh-Waah!"

As expected, I didn't stay the whole hog, meaning I missed out
on performances from Stubborn Heart, and Hello Skinny, but on the plus
side I managed to get back to a very snowy Canterbury in good time
this morning.

Overall it was a superb night, great performances,
disc spinners, and people as a whole.

Quite a cut above where I'll be next week, attending
a gig by Tuppence and The Gang in Matt's home town of
Sittingbourne.

My First Worldwide Awards

Tomorrow night sees an evening I have been anticipating for
a fair few months, the 2013 Gilles Peterson Worldwide Awards.

Taking place at London's KOKO it promises to be an entertaining
night and a lengthy one at that with DJ sets from Romare,
Andrew Ashong, and 6 Music's Cerys Matthews to name a few,
as well as live performances from Stubborn Heart, Nick Mulvey,
Hello Skinny, and Neneh Cherry alongside RocketNumberNine.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to last the whole course, what with
it all taking place for 8 hours, but my main priority is to see
what is expected to be an sublime performance from the
Brazilian Baron that is Marcos Valle, who in his 50th year in
music is this year's recipient of the Lifetime Achievement gong.

And none more deserving, that guy's one of very few performers
from back in the day, who unlike his contemporaries is still coming
out with the good stuff.

Paul McCartney ought to take note here.

Luckily for me, Marcos is set to perform at around 10:45pm
so if I'm not too knackered, I'll stick around for the awards themselves.

And maybe even later, I've no idea what's going to happen but
luckily my hotel isn't too far from the venue.

One category I'm keen to find the result of is the Track Of The Year,
and there have been many stunners in 2012.

Just a few of which that are nominated;

Todd Terje - "Inspector Norse"



Julio Bashmore - "Au Seve"



Nas - "The Don"



Disclosure - "What's In Your Head"


and the catchiest one by far as intro'd by the man himself;

Andrew Ashong and Theo Parrish - "Flowers"



And they're right.

Fish don't smell like flowers, although the flowers
smell far worse on the uncut version...

Slating From The Shadows

In present day times, certainly since I left University, the society
of popular culture has been scared of sending it up, though
at the same time it's not afraid of celebrating shite.

A prime example being Never Mind The Buzzcocks, at one
time a biting panel show giving stick to those who deserved it,
now it's ended up as a sycophantic love-fest, as
this example with Radio 1's Breakfast Show host will prove.

Thankfully in smaller circles, on the internet to be more specific
there are people who are able to give witty critiques on the current
state of popular music, who aren't afraid of mincing their words,
one recent example being James King, who recently released
a dissection of the decline of the Christmas single.  

One such highlight being a brilliant observation of the half-arsed
lyrics of Macca's "Wonderful Christmas Time".

Recently I've managed to find a viral equivalent, what you
could call pop music's answer to Charlie Brooker, though
visually he bares more of a resemblance to the Fleet Street Fox.

Todd's Pop Song Reviews is a welcome relief for anyone
frustrated with the inane state of pop, where Todd Nathanson
gives his own analysis with well-observed put downs on lazy
lyrics and desperate shoehorning.

None more a deserving target than Train, who earn two places
in his "Worst Hit Songs Of 2012", and it's worth watching
his individual slatings of "Drive By" and "Soul Sister".

But as well as providing wit, the videos are educational and inspring
to a point, where even a two second reference to the film High Fidelity,
can make me want to purchase the film for later viewing.

This guy needs further exposure, maybe a guest spot on
Charlie Brooker's new Weekly Wipe series?

Erasing A False Legacy

Just about every expletive in existence has dominated my
Twitter feed in response to the the report from Scotland Yard
and the NSPCC, regarding the broadcaster and fundraiser
who has been revealed to be one of the most manipulative
and deceptive imbeciles ever known.

I've mentioned this many times in conversation that
said individual essentially hid in plain sight with his
actions, was more than happy to joke about them
on shows such as Have I Got News For You but didn't
want to accept that what he did was illegal.

About a year ago, not long after his death, a video
was posted on Youtube of the final edition of Jim'll Fix It
from the 2nd of January 1995, disguised as a 20 year
retrospective of the series.

Like Paul Daniels, Little and Large, and the jingles of
JAM Creative Productions, the BBC had come to the decision
that the presenter's time was up by the 90s, though the man
himself claimed that it was his own decision to finish the
series whilst the ratings in his own words were "rock solid".

I can remember watching this, and however much you despise
of Andi Peters, you can't deny that Savile himself is even
more obnoxious throughout the programme and I can
remember thinking when watching this back in 1995,
"Good ridance, I'm glad this is finishing".

Whilst the investigations and court cases of Operation Yewtree
are far from over, I'm hoping that any photos or further
news stories of Savile will disappear as the whole episode
has been the cause of depression on a personal level,
mainly because it's a topic of conversation I can't let go of
much to the irritation of the rest of my family.

Though maybe that's an issue that I need to look into
in greater detail, and work out how I can be more independent.

Though I won't really be in a position to do so until I've
cleared my debts, at least, really hoping that it will be
the case by my birthday.

Sorry, I'm straying.

As for those who knew about the abuse happening
(if that was the case) I hope they will be found out 
and prosecuted.

And we can all get on with living.

Does Earning Cause Anxiety?

The last week or so has been difficult for just about everyone
at home.

I've been overreacting for no good reason, although from
the latter part of today I've felt a lot calm and assured
about the next month or so.

Partly because I found out that I hadn't been successful from
my interview at Home Bargains last Friday, and although
it's wrong to say I'm relieved, that's how I am feeling.

I really want a job, but at the same time I don't want one
that's going to cause feelings of anxiety and uncertainty.

What with Home Bargains being a retail job it had me worried
and scared, and although I performed reasonably well in 
the interview, there was no sense of me getting on 
instantly with the two people who were interviewing me.

Not that anything bad happened there just wasn't a
spark as such, no common ground.

After a visit to Kennedy Scott yesterday, I have been searching
for office and filing jobs within the Canterbury area and should
I be asked for an interview, I would feel a lot more relaxed
and not so nervous at what was ahead.

It would be very likely my evenings and weekends would be
free, and being able to work on my own rather than predominantly
in a team would be a lot less weight.

But whatever happens, that doesn't mean I'll be cured of
being nervous.

Even for things coming up which I'm looking forward to,
I'm rather scared as next week will be the Worldwide Awards
at Koko with Gilles Peterson at the helm.

It's set to be a big night and what could be a big crowd and
I'm a little nervous as to whether I'll be able to handle it all.

The performance I'm looking forward to the most
is Marcos Valle, the Brazilian musician who is set to recieve
the lifetime achievement gong for 50 years in music, not
to mention turning 70 this year as well.

Maybe I'll hot foot it after his performance, that
would be the sensible option.

Until then, it's a case of searching and speculating.

Well sending speculative letters, anyway.

Losing The Nostalgic Edge

The signs that I'm getting older continue to prevail, as this weekend
the CITV Channel on digital television will be screening a
"Retro Weekend" of vintage shows to celebrate 30 years
since ITV gave children's programmes their own umbrella brand.

It's got many viewers young and old excited, but bizarrely
I'm not one of them, and this article from Time Out,
more or less explains why.

15 years ago in an age without DVD box sets or Youtube
a weekend of vintage television would be a wet dream.

However with the above article containing embedded Youbtube
clips of full episodes of the shows broadcast over the weekend,
the novelty isn't quite there.

It's more exiciting to see the sort of stuff that hardly gets
broadcast at all, and not just forgotten series (Round The Bend,
Johnny Ball Reveals All, Ghost Train) but also vintage presentation,
the bits in between the programmes, most of which only survives
through viewers off-air recordings.

And whilst series such as Fun House are an instant reminder
of halcyon viewing for many my age, I just think of it as a show
that ran for longer than it should have done.

It may be the reason I have more affection for it's BBC
counterpart Double Dare shown as part of Going Live!
as although it wasn't as slick, it was funnier and knew when
to call it a day, what with it being replaced after five years
with the more adventurous Run The Risk.

It may be the case that the shorter a programme runs for
the more fondness I have for it, hence a nostalgic love for
series such as Pets Win Prizes, Dizzy Heights, The Trap Door,
Pob's Programme, and Timmy Mallett's Utterly Brilliant
later reformatted as Brill.

The best way to depart from the screens is to leave the
audience wanting more, which in present day television
seems to have vanished.

2013, Living Up To It's Number?

Amazingly I'm not hungover, but I'm starting to feel dreadfully comedown
and scared that this year may not be all it's cracked up to be.

I'll explain why shortly, but on the plus side I had a fairly good
night at what may be my first proper New Year's Eve do at
the West Coast Bar in Margate with most of those who attended
the Soul Weekender back in August.

I didn't have a lot to drink as I was trying to save a fair few
notes for the train journey back, so that may have been why
it didn't feel as good as I thought it would be.

That said it was nice that it all happened on the main floor
although that was due to the bars basement being reserved
as a games room for the children of attendees who couldn't
get a babysitter.

As well as a really good set of disk spinners from Soulmine
legend Jon Layton, Roni O'Brien, and Tony Matthews providing
the good stuff, not least with the first record played after
"Auld Lang Syne" being "Turn The Music Up"!

An amazing way to start 2013.

A few shots of what took place;


















Jonny and Roni!


















Caister legends Pete Collins and Tony Matthews.


















The ever infamous Jazz fan.


















Getting down to Norman Hutchins.

It may have been that I've over-excessed in outings and need
to lay back a bit, and I may do just that as my next event isn't
until the 19th of this month, and the Gilles Peterson Worldwide Awards
in Central London.

However I'm also rather nervous as on Friday, I have an interview
of sorts at the newly opened Canterbury Home Bargains store.

I've had a look in there and it looks like somewhere I could
fit in as it's not too big and seems pleasant enough, but I'm
worried that if I end up there, the rota will prevent me
from attending such outings, and they won't like me
taking so much time off.

Though if there is an achievement, I managed to get this
far in applying, without the help that so called advisers
Kennedy Scott are meant to be providing.

I'll see how things go on the day itself.