Well today is exactly one year since things started falling out of place and I began thinking things were there when they weren't as a result of me going into hypermania.
I've mentioned it in small doses before but never really managed to explain exactly what happened at the time and it's fair to say that even I didn't know what has happening some of the time.
This was all the result of what for me up to then had been an enjoyable summer, and I had a very bright outlook on what I thought was going to be my final year at University.
I had also developed a huge interest in early 90s television and popular music, especially with vintage episodes of The ITV Chart Show repeated on the Vault which I had sent to me on DVD from a viewer elsewhere in the country and would occasionally treat myself to an edition on the odd late night with classic pop videos from the early 90s interspersed with computer animated dodgems and rollercoasters.
Without them, I would have barely had a positive outlook on life during my second year at University and throughout the summer of 2007 which considering the rather dreadfull weather outside was pretty unbelievable.
By August the time was getting closer and I was getting even more enthuasistic. If you look at my blog posts written around this time it had come to a point that nothing could upset me or make me feel depressed.
Around the second week of August I decided to take my blog "on holiday" in the form of Facebook notes and it seemed there was no stopping me from writing them on many of my passionate subjects, whether it would be old television from the late 80s/early 90s, comfort foods such as pasta and salmon, or the sort of things that made me laugh.
The ability to tag Facebook Friends in my notes resulted in them posting comments which were welcoming and encouraged me to write more and more notes to the point of what seemed like one per hour. For some reason I decided to delete them after I returned to my old blog which I'm a bit gutted about but I saved some of them such as the examples that can be found below.
"Favourite Freshers" (Posted 06.08.07)
"Yummy JAM" - My Obsession With JAM Jingles (Posted 10.08.07)
I'd never be able to write like this now so it's fair to say that things were out of the ordinary.
A lot of the audio has now been deleted as well although I've kept copies of it on my hard drive and I thought I would once again share some of the offerings that I uploaded.
Here goes,
First, one of the finest jingle packages made for Radio 1 back in 1987.
And on a similar note, a selection of jingles done for Terry Wogan over 25 years
Chris Moyles back in 1998 playing a selection of old Radio 1 JAM jingles which got him into a bit
of trouble with company president Jon Wolfert. And I'm sure he knew what listeners were thinking when he was on about "the old Radio 1 news jingle". Something I still find unnerving today.
An extract from Richard Herring's "Christ On A Bike" stand up, ranting about Jesus's ancestors.
And probably my best upload which was originally sent as part of a personal note, a video blending in the 1989 generic LWT ident with the titles of The ITV Chart Show as it symbolizes a time back in September 1989 when for me it was now "safe to watch ITV" on a more regular basis.
Apparently those titles were modeled on the Corkscrew rollercoaster at Alton Towers which at the time was one of the most popular rides in the UK.
All of those uploads contained hidden meanings and connotations that I thought were linked to the year ahead. The final one suggested that by September of 2007 I would be living in a larger flat in halls with three people that I had got to know in the year below me and moving in earlier than everyone else.
However others such as the clip of Chris Moyles had negative and rather sinister connotations i.e. not the sort of thing I would like to hear in the middle of the night.
This all came to a head one night in the third week of August where I was up late one night and discovered a video on Youtube consisting of a montage of gungings from "The Noel Edmonds Saturday Roadshow" in 1990 which back then was staple viewing.
However the first minute contains a shampoo advert involving a woman being showered with water and I was convinced that having the clip precede the gungings was rather derogatory.
This resulted in me bursting into Mum and Dad's bedroom cursing and shouting loudly and convinced that something was happening to me.
The next day after waking up I unplugged my alarm clock and wouldn't switch on my laptop, television or radio as everything seemed to be reacting rather suspiciously. Even my parents were acting strange and encouraging me to do things like try the crossword in the newspaper but I was certain that the clues and solutions were written in a suspicious manner as well.
We made a visit into Morrisons where everything that we bought was something that I would like and I was convinced that we would be taking it all to London.
The next day Dad starting packing things from my room and putting them into storage boxes to place in the loft. At this time I was getting flashbacks to uncomfortable car journeys in France 15 years earlier and started writing silly things on post it notes around the house. I then started packing everything and was prepared to leave for London but Mum and Dad felt confused. I then reset the time on my mobile to midnight and kept playing it via the speaking clock repeatedly. At one point I even switched off all the electricity in the house.
Dad called 999 and I was taken into the nearby hospital where we were in a waiting room for quite a while. While I was in there I kept thinking I saw familiar faces that kept coming and going and I was certain things weren't right at all. We then went back home and later that night we had a visit from three psychiatric nurses who asked me rather difficult questions.
I really didn't know what was going on at all and ended up being taken in an ambulance to a hospital in Thanet.
I thought that we were going to London and making a stop off at a Travelodge at one point although there were even more familiar looking faces and I was trying to avoid being injected with a needle. I'm sure they did it eventually however as the last thing I can remember was being in a tiny room that didn't have anything inside it.
A couple of days later I seem to remember being in a taxi going back to Canterbury in the direction of St Martins Hospital. They had put me in there because I was diagnosed with Hypomania and was acting rather manically. At one point I tried climbing on the roof of the hospital and at other time I was rather careless towards possessions. I was also put onto medication which resulted in me being in pain making it difficult to lie down which could be a big problem at night time.
However I was given my own room where Mum and Dad brought my television with a DVD player and would bring things to me if I asked them. I was even confident enough to want to watch things with them which included a concert DVD of Incognito in Germany which at one point I felt the need to join in with.
And of course they brought me my DVDs of The ITV Chart Show and Dad remembered how I used to enjoy watching the programme during many a 90s summer following the likes of Nobby The Sheep that preceeded it on Saturday Mornings.
I had no problems at all with the other people staying in the hospital although they did have their own problems at times. However there were a few enjoyable times in there such as when we would gather to watch the X-Factor auditions which could be good fun. Some of the nurses thought that they had good voices themselves and were brave enough to demonstrate!
However I wanted to go home and eventually they let me out although I was put onto medication which included a large dosage of Olanzapene and another drug which I can't remember the name of. Combined they made me feel uncomfortable at certain times of the day and I would get depressed at times.
The worst of them being waking up at 4:30am and going into Mum and Dad's bedroom complaining that I'd woken up and couldn't get back to sleep.
Everyone back in London felt reassured that I was OK and I was looking forward to coming back to University although we weren't exactly sure when it would be.
It was arranged that until that happened we would have a visit from a nurse each day to see how I was getting on and what sort of medical state I was in.
We decided that I would go back to University halfway through Freshers Week but I was starting to feel left out of things and not being involved in Smoke Radio was going to be difficult.
When it all kicked off on the Monday it sounded very flat and lacked enthusiasm compared to the year before and it sounded as if they were picking up from where they left off the year before rather than trying to be fresh for the new academic year.
One of the more peculiar shows on offer that week was the first Shuffle show of the year which appropriately or innapropriately had the theme of "The 999 Show" with songs linked to emergencies.
I arrived in my new room in halls on the Wednesday and immediately went to the radio rooms where there was a huge trolley full of noodles that were being given away throughout the week.
There was also a school disco event being held at Area 51 which I didn't really make the effort for in terms of clothing but wanted to go anyway and went to the Undercroft that evening where Charlotte and the two Emmas had turned up in preparation. However I wasn't allowed to drink any alcohol with the medication I was on and by 9pm I wasn't really feeling it so I went back to halls and was in bed by 10.
I woke up rather early as normal feeling dreadfull and preceeded to go walking round Northwick Park Tube Station and was near to the point of jumping down the staircase in Harrow Halls. I attempted to calm myself by listening to "Chill" on my Bug Radio where they were playing "chilled tunes" such as "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn and John and a cover of 4hero's "Hold It Down" by the Quantic Soul Orchestra.
I even ended up locking myself out of my room becuase of my state and was brought into the recreation room to try and relax.
That morning I had to attend a meeting with the disability officer and the senior radio lecturer about my needs for the year and I found it all too much to take in, not knowing exactly what I wanted. It was clear that the following year would be pretty tough.
I made my way down to Marylebone where the Fresher's Fayre was taking place and felt a bit better although by the time I got back to Harrow I got a call on my mobile from someone who was coming over to visit from the Kenton Mental Health Hospital which was difficult to take in as it wasn't expected.
I was later asked to go to the Halls reception where upstairs were some people from the hospital who started asking me more difficult questions.
One of them being would I rather go into the hospital or go back to Canterbury?
They ended up phoning Mum and asking her to come over to Halls to collect me and take me back to Canterbury and this resulted in me running back to the main campus upset about the circumstances.
At this time Debbie the halls manager immediately asked the visitors to leave.
Becuase of the circumstances I was told that I would be able to do my full third year which I wasn't happy about, but I was even more upset that I would be able to do my radio show which was due have gone out on the Friday. This meant that I wouldn't be able to play my Incognito Mash Up that I had been longing to play all summer and now the opportunity had been ruined because I wanted to move the show to Fridays rather than staying on Wednesday.
However I've uploaded it here for all to enjoy.
Because of not being there it made me feel more spiteful towards the station and unhappy about where it was going especially after what happened in Freshers Week.
And I didn't realise that soon after things would be getting mentally and physically worse...
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