As this will probably be my final post of the year, I thought it would be more than appropriate to base it around the title of an amusing comedy show done by
Armando Iannuci four years ago on BBC Four. I doubt this will be as funny however.
To start off with, I was rather upset to see Mel Smith on tonight's Celebrity Mastermind as his voice didn't sound too good at all and I hope he's not suffering from anything too serious. That didn't stop him from coming second in the contest beaten only by
Sally Lindsay AKA first year radio student Jade's stunt double.
The delightful actress from up North managed to come ahead the other contestants including Mick Hucknall who incorrectly guessed Rolf Harris's 1969 number 1 hit as
"Three Little Boys".
As for Griff Rhys Jones (or Stewart Paske) it's good to see him still about on our screens and I think he's not doing too bad a job in Denis Norden's shoes but without
the clipboard on It'll Be Alright on The Night, giving a much needed boost back into the programme.
With regards to television I've just finished watching Charlie Brooker's Review of The Year where he looked at some of the worst shows to have hit the screen throughout the year including "Rock Rivals" which I'm glad I missed when originally transmitted,
ITV1's embarrassing karaoke contest "Sing When Your Winning", and the appalling
John Barrowman vehicle "The Kids Are Alright" which involved him shouting and continuing to prove that he cannot present.
You thought he would have learned after being booted off the main presenter line up of Live And Kicking in 1994.
I was rather suprised that Hole In The Wall wasn't included although I imagine Charlie got all that off his chest in his article in the Guide supplement of the Guardian a couple of weeks ago.
However it did prove that I'm not the only one who felt the same about the X Factor final with regards to Alexandra breaking down whilst "performing" alongside Beyonce, and described her version of "Hallelujah" as "ruined forever and destined to be
a song played at thick people's funerals".
With Trevor Nelson's New Year Soul Show in the background, I thought it would be the ideal time to give my own perception of the last year, although I've probably already mentioned a few things below at an earlier point on the blog, like most of my other posts recently.
Anyway,
The start of the year had hope after a dreadful end to the previous year but it would be a very long time before things started getting back to how they were before I went bonkers.
It wasn't exactly the most welcome return to University, mainly because the majority of my year weren't around due to all the practical work being kaput and most of the new arrivals weren't exactly enthusiastic to get to know me as they were too busy licking the backsides of those in the second year and quite a few in my year.
An unpleasant mugging didn't help either during Refreshers Week and my return to the airwaves sounded dreadful, especially as I made the stupid mistake of wanting it moved to Friday nights which was ridiculous as the whole place was like a fucking graveyard and everyone would normally be down in the dumps by the time I arrived to prepare.
Perfect encouragement, I'm sure you'll agree.
As the semester dragged on, I was only in lectures twice a week as I was doing just two theory modules but I'm glad I got them done then as I couldn't stomach doing them in my final year.
I suppose you could call me a lucky bastard due to the rest of my final year having no lectures whatsoever.
Things started to improve however as I got to know people such as Denis in the second year who really showed his true colours when they were doing the Music Radio module and started to become a regular presence and a good laugh overall. He was also an advantage to many of the pub quizes at the Undercroft as his sports knowledge helped us to win just about everytime alongside me getting most of the music questions right.
There was also the likes of Dean, Troy, Spike and Jake from the first year who were a good laugh despite the fact that Spike like Denis and Chris is a Manchester United supporter.
Then came one of the biggest and expensive mistakes I made this year (but not as bad as Alex Hill) by going to the Student Radio Conference taking place in Bath.
This was mainly due to being with some of the worst egos within the station with the possible exception of Spike, Jake and Stewart who ended up becoming the SRA Regional Officer for London and East Anglia.
Not to mention the rather tedious seminars and the General Meeting that took place on the last day that I just wanted to get out of.
A waste of time and money overall.
The year ended well though with the second S04S although it wasn't as good as last year's, but then again it represented how I felt about the year overall.
And compared to the previous years lot, none of those in halls felt the need to end the year in style with a bonfire and general messing about outside which resulted in the academic year ending on a low.
The summer months were pretty awkward with visits back and forth from London in order to see one of the counsellors on the Marylebone campus but on the plus side it allowed me to go to some stunning gigs including Atar's new band Royal Showdown at the Clapham Grand, and The Sunburst Band at the Jazz Cafe along with Stephen on the same day as Grooveline made a strong farewell from the airwaves.
The show at the start of the year moved to Saturday nights which I felt was a bit awkward but due to job commitments and having the whole of the weekend off, he moved it in April to a live Saturday slot between 12 and 2pm disposing of the features and playing simply just great music including plenty of tunes that I hadn't yet discovered.
I even made a guest appearance on the show myself at the end of May and was impressed by the facilities that Blast 1386 had to offer.
I wish I had recorded it but I guess it would have taken too much effort.
By around August I was finally allowed to stop taking Olanzapene and I think that made a huge improvement to things as I started to lose weight and things were starting to look a bit more hopeful.
The day I moved back into Harrow Halls in September confirmed that things were going to be a lot better than 12 months ago, especially as my room was identical to the one I had in the second year, being two floors above it and a return to form, even if my flatmates weren't exactly the most exciting of people.
On the plus side, those who had arrived to start on the radio course were a good fun bunch of people especially the likes of Manish, Alice, Nicola and Jade who have been welcome additions to the Smoke Radio team.
The practical modules just went by really quickly and the feature module especially was nowhere near as difficult as I thought it would be as I had learned not to let setbacks get me down. And there were very few of them this time round. I managed to get good provisional marks for the the assignments so here's hoping the final marks will be just as good.
Things improved for me at Smoke as I managed to get my show moved back to it's original timeslot of Wednesday's between 8 & 9pm although I did get a bit too involved with issues with regards to the running of the station which could get me down at times. However at least it makes things more interesting and it would be boring if everything just ran too smoothly.
The nights at the Undercroft and Area 51 were pretty weak throughout the semester with one such example being a "School Disco Night" without any cheesy music. However come December the influence of Jim Chapman and the planning from Phil Harris showed how good nights out should be done with what I reckon was a record breaking night at the Undercroft, and a superb end of termer at Area with DJs Fiz and Decio spinning the tunes that the punters really wanted to hear.
And despite the confrontation with the bouncers at the end of last year, my DJ sets weren't completely kaput as I helped spin the discs at Nana Charlie's Body Auction in November to raise money for the third year television students final practical project. Although to be honest the only thing I can remember from the night was when I shouted "SeVEN!" whenever the bidding went up to £7 resulting in embarrassed looks from everyone.
And of course I kicked off the proceedings at the Undercroft Xmas party although why Smoke Radio didn't want to put their name towards such an event I have no idea. However, their loss is our gain and we didn't mean any harm.
I really hope more events of a similar nature take place in 2009 as it proves that despite not having the most glamourous facilities, it is possible to have a bloody good time on the Harrow Campus.
I know it's a bit early to speculate for next year's Smoke Radio awards but I think the Best Quote award should go to Jamie and the Show 25 boys for this line which I've mentioned quite a few times:
Jamie: "That was our unsigned band for this week, and I'm sure you'll be able to find them on Myspace, (to co-presenter Jamieth) Did you enjoy that? A band that you probably never heard before because they're unsigned... "
Jamieth: "I think there's probably a reason they're unsigned..."
I know it's a snide comment to make but it proves a few points from a personal
point of view, and that line is a lot funnier than some idiot
shouting "That's Enough! That's Enougggh!".
I still haven't hung up that award by the way.
On the subject of quotes I thought it would be appropriate to list some of my favourites throughout the year, starting off with a few of my favourite "Scenes We'd Like To See" from Mock The Week.
Things You Wouldn't Hear In A Superhero Movie
"What's that Joker? You'll be back? Somehow I don't think you will be!"
(Frankie Boyle 24.07.08)
Things You Don't Want To Hear At Christmas
"Now, you know that I told you that Dad died in his canoe..."
(Andy Parsons 23.12.08)
Things That Would Change The Atmosphere At A Dinner Party
"There is a vegetarian option. You can fuck off!"
(Frankie Boyle 17.07.08)
And I know it's from last year but just to upset a few Daily Mail readers:
Things The Queen Didn't Say In Her Christmas Message
"I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm now so old, that my pussy is haunted"
(Frankie Boyle 18.01.07)
"You can't deny that everyone's life has been improved by the invention of the computer, with the exception, perhaps of Gary Glitter"
(Roy Walker, Act Your Age, BBC Radio 4, 12.12.08)
"Ringo Starr recently posted a Youtube video saying he wouldn't sign anymore fan mail because he's got too much to do. Ironically he's now much busier throwing away
parcels full of dogshit"
(Simon Amstell, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, BBC 2, 06.11.08)
"Bring On The Wall!"
(Dale Winton, Hole In The Wall)
Danny off of Brittania High: "I'm The Man!"
Charlie Brooker: "No you're a c**t"
(Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe, BBC Four, 18.11.08)
Russell Brand: "We've gotta stop upsetting Manuel, This time Jonathan
I'm convinced we can make it better"
Jonathan Ross: "Well, what shall we not mention, the war?"
(Russell Brand, BBC Radio 2, 18.10.08)
From 8 Out Of 10 Cats:
"Labour backbenchers are closing in on Gordon Brown,
like vultures circling a useless fucking twat"
(Jimmy Carr, 18.09.08)
And also,
The Most Annoying Thing About London
"The Buses. Because you wait for one... And then you get stabbed"
(Jason Manford, 20.11.08)
And finally, the funniest quote of this year courtesy of Have I Got News For You;
Jeremy Clarkson: "Collectors of tax discs can add to the dinner party conversation with lines such as, what?"
Paul Merton: "I'm on the sex offenders register!"
(Uncontrollable laughter from the audience, and Jeremy Clarkson)
(Have I Got News For You, BBC 1, 06.06.08)
As for my 2009 New Years Resolutions they should go something like this:
To avoid speaking my mind at the wrong times and wrong places
(although there are times when some things have to be said)
Not to call fellow student Emma Picton "Miss Waterworks" (but it must be pointed out that it's not necessarily her fault)
And to try and vary my eating habits by making more dishes with fish and vegetables.
I doubt I'll succeed though.
Whilst I spend the rest of tonight enjoying Jools and the Hootenanny,
I hope those reading this have an enjoyable and promising 2009 and I'll leave you with
a few things that I've learnt this year.
1: The University Of Westminster clearly have no acknowledgement for students when it comes to making inappropriate changes.
2: Alistair Darling is an ideal candidate to play Parker in the next Thunderbirds movie.
And 3: The writers and readers of the Daily Mail are a load of right wing whingeing over-sensitive cunts.
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