Night Ranting To Night Rhythms

Everything's still getting too hard to handle.

I've been sending out letters and e-mails but still pondering on
whether the last 5-10 years were a waste of my time.

I really shouldn't let short minded so and sos put ideas into my head.

They won't last in their as of yet unburst bubbles if they carry on like that.

It's not really a case of me liking music more than media.

I can't play an instrument and am completely unable of writing
anything melodic.

But it's how music is used on television and radio that got me interested in it
on the whole and I've noticed that in radio especially it's starting to
play less of a part in identifying itself.

On one of the jingle demos I own from around 1995/1996 it had a line that went
"Your business is music! So put the musical impact back into your sound
and make it more than sweepers and liner cards"

Even Glee doesn't have a proper opening theme tune
which really is shocking considering the sort of show it is.

It's easy for me to blame my Asperger's Syndrome for my speech difficulties
but that's just part of the disorder.

It also had me developing obsessive interests with things that
would go over peoples heads to the point that let me think of an example...

Even the man who designed the 1979 BBC 2 symbol would forget
that he made it out of all the things he did including the opening
titles to Doctor Who when Sylvester McCoy was in the role.

There's only one way out of this mess.

Pester power.

Or to remain active, update my website and keep on pestering
anywhere in London that has a mixing desk inside it, to view what
I could offer.

And see what it leads to.

But this is the thing it is annoying me the fucking most.

The difference between being passionate about radio, or
getting too passionate that potential employers are worried
about me going bonkers again.

I won't prejudge yet.

I'll do my best to give it six months, because there have been times
I have got dismissive for all the wrong reasons when potential doors
could have been opened.

I'm really going to have to buy a terrabyte drive so I can store all
my record downloads on there.

There's tons of stuff that will sustain my stability in this tricky
period.

And I wouldn't get offended if a synth backed sax track by Lee Ritenour
from 20 years ago had you wanting to vomit.

Although come to think of it, I'd much rather be listening to
this sort of stuff amongst an LA night sky.

Good Night.