The Comedy Crematorium

I've gone through a few more things including another set of audtions from the second series of Pop Idol in August 2003.

Probably my favourite out of all the ones I've seen as it contains plenty of amusing moments including one where Dec ends up cracking up over a failed contestant, after he shouts his way through a rendition of Christina Aguilera's ironically titled "Beautiful".

There's also the first appearance of finalist Chris Hyde who earned the nickname "The Vicar" after a comment made by Foxy in the first audition. Of course he didn't really get that far after the show.

I personally reckon that the auditions in this series are a lot funnier than those on the X Factor as they've become a lot more contrived and people just go on their deliberately to make fools of themselves.
The show also suffers without Ant & Dec's irreverence which thankfully is
covered by Holly on the ITV2 show.

The funniest on that edition of Pop Idol that I saw included a fella at the Manchester auditions who came in and performed "The Wheels On The Bus" determined (or should that be 'deluded') that he would release it as a novelty Christmas record.

As well as him there was another man by the name of Brendan from Ireland who had already appeared on television in the Irish version of Popstars and was unsuccessful. He fared no better in the UK either as he performed an obviously tuneless medley of songs such as "The One And Only", "So Macho" and "Too Many Broken Hearts".

Pete Waterman's reaction is just hilarious as he just lies down next to Simon looking if he's falling asleep, although Brendan seemed determined that he was "Ireland's number 1 entertainer".

When Simon asked him how old he was, he responded by saying "Well, I tink it shouldn't be about age, it should be judged on entertainment".

To which Simon responded "No, how about the word 'talent'. Goodbye".

In 2004 Brendan tried again when he auditioned for the first series of the X Factor but Louis Walsh had obviously dealt with him before on Irish Popstars and upon hearing about his arrival, he had a few words with the producers and they wouldn't even let him in front of the judges as they knew he would waste their time.

I seem to remember him breaking down when he was interviewed on a show looking at the worst ever audtionees.

Moving onwards I then found an edition of the 2003 series of Room 101 where the guest was Ronan Keating. One of the items he wanted to put in was performers who mimed as whenever Ronan, and Boyzone appeared on television they have always sang live.

Paul Merton allowed it to go in but on the condition that he would mime with Paul on his 2002 duet with Lulu "We've Got Tonight" originally performed by Bob Seger.

Ronan as you'd expect was rubbish at miming but Paul who took on the part of Lulu was hilarious.

I also managed to find another episode, this time the first ever one from 1994 with Bob Monkhouse which BBC 2 repeated on the night of his death.

Back in those days Nick Hancock was the host and was a lot tougher on what went in and what didn't and they seemed to get through more items than they did when Paul hosted the programme.

It was also a good example of a show where Monkhouse proved he could entertain younger adult audiences with the appropriate humour and re-established him as one of the finest comics.

Amongst the items on his wishlist were Cilla Black singing, The French, and rather oddly "The Golden Shot".

Nick wouldn't allow it in however as there was a worse example of a Sunday night gameshow, that being Bullseye. So instead of putting the show into Room 101, he gave Bob a framed photograph of his successor Norman Vaughan who rather ironically was one of the creators of Bullseye.

One of Bob's choices that did go in was Ventriloquism which was illustrated by a clip of Keith Harris and Orville which was probably enough to justify it's disposal.

Another one that didn't go in that I thought should have done was the song "Kum Bah Ya" which was represented by possibly one of the worst examples of television; that song being sung by The Black And White Minstrels.

However that item was rejected as Nick mentioned that he hated cubs and that song was responsible for many others wanting to leave so it was kept out of Room 101 in order to play that role.

The last of Bob's choices was The Big Breakfast to which Nick Hancock said
"it makes The Chart Show looks like it's got a plot".

Bob had guest hosted the show in December 1993 and wanted it to go in not because of the show itself, but having to get up at 2:15 in the morning and having to wear an earpiece where the editor was constantly shouting directions at him.

He was complementary towards co-host Gaby Roslin however by saying that "she could make a guide dog go in the wrong direction".

Of course the item stayed out of Room 101 as Nick mentioned that there was a worse example of breakfast television, Mr Motivator.

More trawling will take place tomorrow I imagine, as well as sorting out the agenda for my focus group as I need to remember it's not necessarily an informal conversation.

Well it is in a way, but with set questions.

Good Night.