Taking The RI:SE

I've now reached December 2003, the 19th to be exact and the final edition of Channel 4's RI:SE with Iain Lee and Kate Lawler.

It wasn't really that much of a memorable show and several people and critics were not sorry to see it's departure.

To be fair it had improved since the rather dull news based format from it's early days but it was trying too hard to fill the void left by the Big Breakfast and failing miserably.

Iain Lee was irreverant throughout; "They say it ain't over until the fat lady sings. Sadly we could get Michelle from Pop Idol..."
whilst Kate was easy on the eye at least.

However the saving grace of the programme had to be the rather attractive newsreader Zora Suleman who always had her head tilted down in a rather seductive manner while reading the headlines.

Whilst Iain was known for being rather outspoken, I thought some of his opinions weren't neccesarily agreeable, such as him slagging off Chessington World of Adventures, specifically "Professor Burp's Bubbleworks".

Appropriately enough, I've found a site containing the music played on that ride so any of you can piss about and try to recreate the ride yourself after a few drinks.

I haven't actually been on that ride for nearly 10 years, but nearer my neck of the woods at Dreamland in Margate, there used to be an inferior ride called "The Stowaway" which was the same sort of premise but featured really rubbish models of skeletons dancing.

When we went on a school visit there Stephen one of the fellow pupils climbed out of the boat and started dancing with the skeletons and ended up getting thrown off but it was very funny all the same.

It reminds me of this legendary scene from Grange Hill in 1982 when they went on a visit to Chessington Zoo and got into more chaos.

It's worth watching to hear Rowland's friend call him "Ro-Land" which she was well known for.

Anyway, 24th of April is reserved for a visit to that superb place in Surrey if anyone's up for it. Or sometime after the disseration at least.

Back to RI:SE and there's not really a lot that can be written to be honest.

The guests included a load of reality rejects and panellists including David and Carrie Grant, Ricardo from The Salon, and Big Brother 4 contestants Nush, Gos, and Jon Tickle of course.

They were of course from the series where bugger all happened and everyone seemed to be too nice to each other, although there were a few funny moments such as Gos getting irritated by runner up Ray's "bedroom habits" resulting him storming into the bedroom and yelling "STOP WANKING!"

If you don't remember Gos, he was the rather tubby chef who looked a bit like Keith from the office.

Nush on the other hand looked like a cross between Fearne Cotton and Gaby Roslin, although she ended up turning the air blue on the final show when talking about her parents dog which had a habit of deffecating everywhere.

She didn't use those words of course.

Other guests included Pooja Shah from Eastenders, Richard Hammond and Lemar who even as far as late 2003 was just plain old Lemar as opposed to "Lemar out of Fame Academy".

There was also a surprise phone call from Trisha Goddard who sounded really rough and resulted in everyone in the Whiteley's Shopping centre studio in stitches.

Iain on the other hand seemed desperate to get a laugh at any moment by playing with his "Mr T In Your Pocket" toy, which inspired the Bullseye one which I still have now.

The show ended with everyone piling on each other with Iain and Kate being buried deep under it all, along with their TV careers.

Iain on the other hand is still doing pretty well at Absolute with his Sunday night show and remains one of my favourite radio presenters currently on air. I wish I'd included him in my fantasy line up, as he would have been perfect for a nightly phone in show.

However it's safe to say that the 19th of December 2003 was the day that Breakfast Television finally died of a slow and painful death.