"The Way It Really Was, Was A Very Different Story..."

Prior to the final SMTV with Ant & Dec on my rather worn out VHS copy was the first 10 minutes of BBC 1's "The Saturday Show" with Dani Behr and Joe Mace. Their "sterling guest line up" conisisted of Emma Bunton (with a dreadful barnett), The Tweenies, Bret 'Hitman' Hart, and Daniel McPherson from Neighbours who was starring at the panto in Canterbury that year.

Compelling entertainment I'm sure you'll agree.

There was also the last five minutes of "Diggit" which was quite amusing featuring "Des" and a couple of other presenters. Des or to give him his real name Paul can apparently be found as a reporter on CBBC's Sportsround so I may have a gander tomorrow morning to see if he's grown up yet.

Onto the show itself which started off with what sounded like a rocky version of "Well Did You 'Evah" which included the line from Frank Skinner and David Baddiel;

David: "We all came, to show we care"
Frank: "Right! Which one of you's Dani Behr?"

The other guests included Blue, Liberty (without the X), Samantha Mumba, Amanda Holden, Denise Van Outen, Dane Bowers, Michael Greco, Mark Lamarr, and Carol Vorderman.

And Hear'say.

There was also a big band perfomance from Robbie Williams and his "best mate" Jonathan Wilkes. I actually thought Jonathan had the better voice oddly enough, although he decided to give that up and host You've Been Framed.

There was also a special edition of "The Secret Of My Success" which involved a flashback to the boys on Byker Grove, where "Downright Dirty Donnelly" wouldn't stick to the script and just messed about. "Cat The Dog" appeared as a new arrival from "Burrmingham!" whilst Denise Van Outen, Amanda Holden and Carol Vorderman were dressed as heavilly permed Geordies.

Best of all though was Frank Skinner as Geoff although he didn't have the beard.

Frank also gave the pair an irreverent interview which included a VT of some of the worst moments from the show, mainly from the first series.

There were also some very amusing questions such as "How did you feel when you destroyed 'Live & Kicking'?" and "Will you be going on a big bender next week, and are you prepared to name him?".

There was a return of the football based competition "Eat My Goal" which featured Robbie Williams, Jonathan Wilkes, Michael Greco, and even Peter Beardsley attempting to get the ball past goalkeeper Ant.
Although just as the item was finishing Robbie decided to show his arse to the camera, which laterly got ITV into a bit of trouble with the ITC.

The final episode of Chums featured a guest appearance by Mariah Carey as Cat's maid of honour in her marriage to Dec. This was around the time Mariah had released her succesful film "Glitter" and if her acting in Chums was anything to go by, no wonder it bombed.

The boys final CD:UK was also pretty good with performances from Starsailor, and Jamiroquai performing one of their album tracks "Main Vein" with guest vocals by Beverley Knight.

Well they weren't really vocals, more of a wail.

There were also VT packages with pop stars wishing the guys good luck ranging from Mis-Teeq, Kylie Minogue, Paul McCartney, and even Jay Z, and Robert Smith.

The show ended with a highlights package which contained one of my favourite outbursts from Dec in a game of "Wonkey Donkey";

Dec: "Who is that in the background?"

Caller: "My mum!"

Dec: "Yer, mum's rubbish as well"

It ended brilliantly with slow motion clips accompanied by "Nobody Does It Better" a song that I'm not normally a fan of, but in this case it worked perfectly.

The show ended with the boys performance of "Let's Get Ready To Rhumble" on the 100th show from July 2000 which was what everyone really wanted to see on the final show.

And there's no denying that it's one of the greatest pop songs of the last 15 years.

As for tonight, I'm just about to head off to the "Big Gay House" which is the launch point for tonight's 21st birthday festivities for Chris Chilvers.

I can't get around my head that he's finally reached that age but I doubt it will see an end to him making innuedos and resorting to schoolboy jokes at my expense.

I'll be bringing a bottle of pineapple vodka or whatever it is I normally bring to such events.